Day 10

Hope you all are having a wonderful start to your weekend. Today Hayden, Alayna, and I will be going to the movies. I am going to really have to test my temptations here with all the milk duds, popcorn, and pretzels. It's hard for me. I am not sure when it will get easier. Yesterday we went to Wal-Mart to get a food scale, and walking through the grocery part was harder than I thought it would be. There are temptations lurking around every single corner. You go around one corner and the candy is hiding. You go around the next and the chips are laughing at you.

This is the last thing I really need to get into control. I am having a really hard time with food cravings. Last night, I finally broke down and made pita pizzas. I had been trying to avoid them, but with every pizza commercial, it got harder and harder to hold out. I know it is unrealistic to think I will NEVER eat another donut, slice of pizza, or fried food again. I'm 24 with a lot of years ahead of me. Things are bound to happen. BUT, right now I need to stay as far away from it as I can so that I can be okay without it.

This is always the harder part for me. I love food. Obviously or I wouldn't be in the position I'm in. My father is this incredible cook and you can't help but to love food growing up in that house. Every function my family has we cook for about 4,385 people, and you just feel like you have to eat. And I could blame it on that if I really wanted, but it isn't like anyone was forcing the food in my mouth. (Although my Nonnie was pretty persuasive "Mangia, Mangia!") I made the decisions and I put the food in my mouth. I made myself this way, and it's up to me to fix what I've done.

Even with all of the food doubt in my head I can honestly say that I feel good. I'm on my way to happy. And for the first time in my life, I feel like I am doing something for me. I am very conscience of others. I try so hard to make everyone else happy and I am VERY hard on myself when I fail at that. And I should have the same mentality about this. I can't and won't let myself down. Time to start doing things for me. And this is my first step!

Have a good Saturday everyone!!