Day 22

Almost Friday...which means almost weigh in!!

I can honestly say that I am not nervous. I'm ready for the weigh in. If I lose weight, GREAT, if I don't, that's okay too. I'm changing my life, and that is all that matters!

I have decided that I will post some before and afters at week 8. I am starting to kind of see it in the mirror, but I really have to force myself to see it. There are a lot of things that sparked this whole journey. One picture in particular did it. Hayden had his promotion ceremony and we took a picture as a family. I usually avoid that if all possible. But I couldn't get out of it this time. I was embarrassed looking at them. I knew it was time to change everything. I was unhappy. I spend all my time avoiding mirrors. When I FaceTime with my family, I won't even get on the camera because I hate how I look. And that's not healthy.

It's not easy to be this way. You get made fun of, snickered at, and get really sad when shopping. I can remember as a child going to JCPenney, and heading to the juniors section to look at Mudd bellbottoms. But every pair I tried on, didn't fit. It was really hard as a young teen to feel so disappointed in your body. I then only shopped at one store, because I knew they had a size that would fit me. I could never wear the cute clothes the other kids could. For once, I want to go into a store...find something with out going aaaalll the way back to the back of the rack and hope that I can wear it. What's so strange, is I love fashion. I love design and new clothes, but I can't wear any of it. I hope that I can get there someday!

I have never really made that public before, so that is one more step in the right direction!! I usually keep those things between Hayden and I. He has seen me go out and get so frustrated and just leave with nothing because it is too emotional. I want to be able to go into a dressing room and be upset because they are all too big and I have to go a size down (Like I would EVER be upset something was too big lol). So some day I will get there. I know that this isn't a sprint, but a marathon....and someday I am going to be so proud of all the work that I put in!!

Have a great Thursday everyone! Can't wait for weigh in tomorrow!!!