Day 30 - Weigh In

Well today has come!! It's finally weigh in day....And I can honestly say...I was REALLY hoping for more, but I am still happy!

This week I lost 2 lbs for a grand total of 17.5 pounds in 4 weeks gone. And never to be seen again!


Do I wish it was more around the 20 mark....absolutely! But I can honestly say that I am so happy to just be losing!! I know this is going to be a very long journey, and sometimes things will get frustrating, but slow and steady wins the race right? But I just need to keep my head up, and keep trucking no matter what the number says. I used to quit because the number was small, a zero, or I gained weight. I would just get so discouraged and just give up. Why keep going if I'm not doing it right??? And now I don't want to quit. Why would I change my life so drastically just to turn back into that very unhappy girl??

I can think of so many moments when I was unhappy with myself, and I could feel that disappointment in myself, but did NOTHING about it. You know Hayden and I went to a Nationals game last year, and I was so uncomfortable the whole time! The seat was too small for me and I was so embarrassed by it. I thought everyone in the whole place was looking at me....like I was not supposed to be there. Well later on in the game, we moved a couple rows down as people began to leave, and the seats were HUGE! So I began to think that maybe I over reacted a little bit, and maybe we just got really cheap seats! In my head...when things like that happen, I immediately think that everyone is just staring and laughing at me. It was almost all I thought about the whole time. I couldn't even enjoy one of the few date nights Hayden and I got because I was too upset with myself And I hate that I have that feeling (or HAD), every time I went in public. I just don't feel that way anymore, because I am so proud. I'm putting in a lot of hard work to change my life, and I wish I could just spread it around to the whole world!

So on that note, no more of that kind of negativity in my life. On to bigger and better things!! All these changes have made me a better person....and I can't wait to see the final person they change me into!!!

Have a great Friday everyone!!!