Day 107 - Weigh In

Well.....I knew I wasn't going to hit my goal from last week. I didn't work for it. I should have worked harder and I didn't. I made excuses. I was tired, I got home too late, I have a headache, I want to spend time at home....they are excuses. I could have gone, and I just chose not to.

So I jumped on that scale today, knowing I wouldn't be happy with it, and boy was I right. I was .2 pounds down for a total of 36.5 pounds down.

Right now I think I am in a place where I just really need to time manage more than ever. It's going to be even more difficult when trying to run two stores, not just one, and still trying to somewhat have a life outside of work. I had this thought dropping Alayna off at Miss J's house (sitter), I bet she likes her more than me, she sees her more than me....I'm a terrible mother....

I wish I could say this wasn't a real thought, but it is. I hope some day she understands that I am working so hard for her. I work the hours and times I work, to provide her a better life. She deserves the most out of life, and I will work as hard as I possibly can to provide her with that.

So....what I think I need now, more than ever, is an daily agenda. Keeping to a strict daily routine will hopefully make it a little less difficult to keep on track. So when I said I wanted to work on lists on Tuesday, this was one of them. Making a schedule for me to keep to, would be amazing, and more convenient. Forcing myself to go to the gym at least four times a week. Making family time a special time, and really being there. Getting my blogs done in the mornings, so that I can have the evenings to really focus on Hayden and Alayna. And when I'm at work, be there....but disconnect once I get home.

That is what I need to work on for myself. A routine. Once I am in a routine, the rest will all fall into place.

SO I am leaving you all with that. I still need to get ready for work and somehow wake up. I slept awful again. I keep dreaming of work, so it's like I'm pulling 24 hour shifts! So off to the coffee machine for me! I hope you all have a wonderful day, and I know I am going to try to keep my head up and "Get em' next time". Because it's not how you start, but how you finish, and I WILL finish this next 44 days strong!!