I decided that my job at T-mobile was too much, and that I had some different views than some of the people there. I hit a low and that is when I stopped blogging, dieting, and caring. I wanted so much to care, but I just couldn't. There was too much going on in my life, and I was just overwhelmed.
I was then given an absolutely incredible opportunity to join the Verizon team, and I gladly accepted. The benefits are incredible, and I have nothing but LOVED the training and perks of the job. I have gotten such a great experience out of it so far. The hours are just as long, but at least with hourly pay, I get paid for the hard work I am doing. As soon as I took the position, I knew life was going to change and for the better, which it truly has.....for the most part.
As I started my new position I was learning new things, and seeing that it was so much nicer at a corporate location. Everyone was nice and helpful. They all were exactly what I was looking for in a new job. I decided to call Hayden and tell him how much I loved my new job, and how great everything was! But that is when he told me.....He had been hand chosen for a mission to go to the Sinai Peninsula. I of course cried...I was scared. It rushed over me that I was going to be alone for 9 months. That holidays are going to be spent just Alayna and I. I broke....but for a day.
I decided that the best thing to do, is to just find a solution and keep going. It is going to be hard, but if every military wife before me has done it, and some multiple times, what makes me any different? Why shouldn't I be able to do it? It is going to be extremely difficult, and I will have days where just giving up and staying home and crying all day will be the better option. But I am strong. I have made it through things that I never thought I could.
People would say that my life was easy. I had the perfect Mom and Dad and my family life was ideal. And they would be right. I have a hard time when I am away from my family, but this deployment is just another patch on my quilt. I want to conquer it and say that I can make it through a deployment and strongly. I am a strong woman and mother. Hayden is excited for the journey that this will take him on, and I am so excited and proud for him. It's a huge honor to be chosen for a mission. And I know Alayna and I will struggle at times, but we can make it through. We have an amazing Army family to rely on here and I will be turning to God and to the church to guide me through this.
Hayden's deployment is the biggest reason I wanted to restart this blog. I want to change the person I am while he is gone. I am excited for this part of my life, because it is a true test. I believe God only hands me things I can handle, and although there is a lot on my plate, I should turn to him now more then ever. As much as I want to take the easy way out of this, I can't. I KNOW I can be the strong wife that holds down the fort while Hayden is gone. I know I can be a working mom and take care of Alayna while he is gone.
I know that some people will read this and think that there is an easier way to do this...but I don't want to give up on things that easily. I can't wait for Alayna to start going to school with her friends that she has now. Life will have it's ups and downs, but I will handle them like every other army wife does. Probably terribly and with no grace at all.....but I will handle them.
Ironically today is Military Spouse Appreciation day, so to close this first day back I want to say how much I admire the women before me and the women that are by my side every day. It is not easy being a military spouse. Not everyone understands the struggle that we go through day in and day out, and the responsibility we have as military spouses. But we support our soldier through everything. And I am so happy to call myself one of them. So to all my fellow Spouse's, here is to all of you! You continue to amaze me and I am thankful to turn to you when times are hard!
To all my readers, thank you for coming back and reading this LONG post back. I promise they won't all be as long, but I just wanted to fill you in! Until tomorrow!!
Glad to see you back on the blog. Miss you. NP
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