So now that Lent is over, my husband's first few thoughts were, "Yes, we can eat meat on Friday's and I don't mess up as much. Can Alayna stay home with me on Sunday's or does she still need to go to church with you? (and the most ridiculous one) Are you done with doing something for other people?". I sat and thought about the questions...yes, we can eat meat all day every day now you carnivourous doofus. Yes, she is still going to church with me. And the last one stumped me...I wasn't sure if he was serious or if he was joking.
I went to my meditation room (which I have one of those now) and I decided to think about what he had asked. He didn't ask it in a malicious way, so no mean responses to him, but he was just curious. So I decided to think about it. I meditated to some very clear meditation music and it hit me...when I helped people, or did something good to get off my back, I felt better. After this revelation I ran down stairs and told him.
I didn't want to stop doing good or letting go of old "grudges" if that's what you want to call them. I know that they teach the lesson that you crunch the paper, and smooth it out, and it is never the same. But in my eyes I will see the paper as smooth again. I am forgiving and letting go of those damaged pieces of me. They are holding me back, and it's not healthy for me.
On another note, I had written in my last entry for you all to let me know if you wanted this to just be about food, diet, and how I am doing.....more crickets than ever. So I am going to continue to do what I have been doing, and that is incorporating both. I want to share with you what is going on in my life, and I want to be able to share with you how my daily struggles or successes are going as well. So I am going to leave the name what it is, but continue to do the same thing.
As my grandfather would put so sweetly, I guess Easter is shot in the ass, so on to the next big adventure. Alayna's birthday card invitations should be coming out soon. That's the next big adventure we are taking, and I am trying to save as much money on it as possible! I hope that it is a big event for her, and I find it so hard that she is turning 5 years old, so it's one she may remember. I have everything all planned out, and hopefully it will be a smash.
If you are reading this today, I apologize for the long delay, and I hope you are still going to read. The three of you out there that still read! Have a great day everyone, and remember, just because Lent is over, you can keep doing good things...it's good for the soul!
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