Broken Promises

Alright folks...I'm back. Not by popular demand or anything, but I'm back. I know my last post was about keeping up with my blog. And I obviously didn't do that. I obviously have commitment issues in that department, but that's for another post. 

Through the past couple of years I have been through a lot. Different diagnoses that had changed my life and the way I look at things, and different life events to shape me into who I am today. Which is not necessarily the person I want to be. So I'm back at it writing, and following calorie intakes, and worst of all....exercising...my biggest downfall. But I'm not happy with the me I am right now, so some changes have to come down the pipeline, and I have to abide by them. To live a fuller and healthier life. And all that other cliche stuff. 

So to start this journey off right, I had to pack a lunch today that was going to be healthy and a good decision on my part. So I went with salad. Boring, tasteless, low calorie salad. I'm sooo original I know. But it's what I had in the fridge so give me a break. It's not like I had time to whip something special up. I also decided to start my day off right with a protein meal replacement shake. Chocolate of course (like there is any other flavor). I feel like these are easy and safe choices for me. I did the whole, protein shake for one meal a day before, so I figured it would be easy to do again. Let me just say, by lunchtime, I was ready to eat!!! And boy did that salad look....boring. But I poured my fat free, taste free, love free dressing on it. And ventured through. I never said I was good at this. Just said I NEEDED to do this. So it's just on dinner now to be healthy. And to do something active today to get my calorie burn a little higher. I can do that...pshhh I was born to do that. (insert eye roll here) 

It's not like this is really that hard. A ton of people do this every day, why should my journey be any different? I know that in my head, I want pizza and pop and mozzarella sticks. But I just need to find healthy alternatives that make me just as happy as those things. For so many years now I have used food as a crutch. When I'm sad, I eat. When I'm mad, I eat. When I'm bored, I eat. You see where I'm going with this. I just eat to fill my voids. When eating should be to give my body nutrition. I always say that my top three hobbies are sleeping, binging, and eating. That needs to change. And this is the first step in the right direction I guess. Even if it's going to be a little difficult, and I may stumble at times, the end result will be worth it. Not that there is an "end result", this is a lifestyle change that will never end, getting to a happier healthier me is what my goal is. And I hope you all stick around for the journey.