So today I decided I wanted to talk about my frustrations as of late. I am so frustrated with where I am right now. Every day I look at myself in the mirror and am so unhappy with who I see. I know she is different than the girl that I was when I started, but I still see her. I still see that girl from 46 days ago that was so unhappy. I still feel like that girl. How do I STOP from feeling like her? And then when I do feel like her, it makes me want to hole up in a corner and just cry. I know these feelings are normal but I am so tired of getting them. I am no where near where I want to be in this journey and I don't know how to get there. I wanted to be well over 35 lbs. down by now and I am still a far ways away from that. I thought I could do it, and now I'm thinking I can't. And 35 lbs at this point is nothing compared to where I really need to be. So now I'm stuck with this feeling of not being good enough to meet my goal and what if I can't meet my goal by the time we need to go on our trip in December. I would be so unhappy that I did all this work for nothing.
I know this post is a little "venty", but it's how I'm feeling. I am just really really frustrated with myself. I am really unhappy today. Maybe it's that I'm sick, or tired from working so much, or just overworked with this crazy busy schedule. But what I do know is that I have to kick this feeling and quick! I can't let it get the best of me, or I will be able to see it in my numbers next Friday! So hopefully today it will be a nice slow work day and I can keep calm and focus on what my goal really is.
Maybe if I actually take those before and during pictures I was talking about, it might give me a little bit of push. Sometimes my eye can't see exactly what is there, but a photograph captures it a little better. And a side by side is always easier to see results in. So I will do those tomorrow....with my day off. You will get to see where I started and where I am, and you all can be the judge of if I'm just crazy, or there really is nothing to see!!
Have a wonderful Sunday everyone! I'm going to try to keep calm and count my positives today!
35 pounds is a big goal for the amount of days you've been doing this!! weight loss usually happens more slowly than that, as far as i know. taking photos might be really helpful for comparing!
ReplyDeleteYou ARE doing it. If it wasn't hard we would all be running around in yellow polka dot bikinis. Your progress it GREAT! Maybe you've hit a plateau and need to mix up your workout routine and I'm sure some of it has to do with the new job.
ReplyDeleteJust keep going and don't allow your frustration to sabotage all the progress you've made so far!
You can do it! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other:)
You have GOT to keep your head up Bethany! You are doing FANTASTIC. Take it day by day. Get rid of your full body mirrors for now. You seriously can't see it like others do.... I'm living proof. I didn't think I looked different AT ALL! Just keep it up - you're doing a great job!!!! <3
ReplyDeleteBethany...you have made ALOT of progress in a relatively short time. Your before and after pics speak volumes. In your "pre" adventure picture, I see (perceive) a very insecure, and unhappy, beautiful girl (yes, I know you have a smile...but you're not 'feeling' it) In your second picture, I see "self confidence" blooming, you took the time to apply makeup (revealing self pride) and your smile is more genuine, and even radiating. Your profile pic reveals an increase in tonicity, and a more confident posture. As far as what YOU see...I am concerned you may always see the image you began this journey with. (I once got down to a size 2...and I still saw no difference than when I was post delivery after Kate)Many times there are a body/ mind perception disconnection...(don't get caught up with that!)Hang tough, keep up the great work...remember..this is a lifestyle change... you've got a lifetime to enjoy great health and energy. Maybe while life is so crazy, incorporate some yoga and meditation into your well being routine. Patience with yourself! I love your posts!~ Theresa (Kate's mom)
ReplyDelete