Nerves

Okay, so lots to talk about today. First thing, how about there was a birthday party at school and there was cake and pizza. And guess who had none!!! I mean I put it into my points calculator, realized it was too many, and then said no, but I still said no!!! There were 3 different kinds of cake here yesterday!!!! Talk about temptation!! But I held off and ate my salad and pudding and was okay. Now I did have two small pieces of pizza for dinner, but I had the points to eat it, so I did. I don't know how good at this I'm going to be, but I'm trying. 

Stress has been playing a huge part in my day to day activities because I just have so much going on in my life right now. I have my move out of our house coming up, I have to find a new house, I'm trying to start up my photography business and getting all the right licenses and permits and insurance is a pain, I have to worry about where Alayna is going to be next year, it's just a lot on my plate. And it's like I don't know where to start with anything because I'm so stressed out about everything else. I really need to just let go and let God, but I'm not so good at that. I'm also stressing and nervous about my weigh in tomorrow. It will be my first time weighing myself in over 1 year. And I KNOW I've gained. I'm terrified. I know it's going to be a big number but no matter what it is, I'm not going to be happy about it. But at the same time, it's just a number. Why should I let one little number rule my mind and make me so miserable. And it's not like it's going to stay that number forever. Hell it's going to change next week (hopefully). So I just need to not focus on that number, no matter how daunting it is, and focus on my goal. 

I decided I should come up with a rewards system. Anyone have any ideas about what I should put on there? I figured every 10 pounds should be celebrated. And I have like 1,000,000 of those to go, so I have a lot to celebrate down the road. So any input on what you have rewarded yourself with would be helpful. I was thinking like, massages, new phone cases, photography equipment, (sorry mom) tattoo, and I'm sure there's more out there but I just haven't thought of them yet. 

Alright, that's all from me today! I hope you all have a great Friday! I'll be working until 6:30 and then off to a friends house for s'mores. Wish me luck!!