Day 154

Good Evening Everyone!!!! When I tell you I am in a great mood...I am in a great mood! Today has been a very blessed day. I am thankful for EVERYTHING in my life today. I should really be every day, and I am, but I am just feeling so so blessed today. God is good.

When I ever feel overwhelmed, I always think of all the bad things going on in my life, and now I am thinking of all the positive things!!! I think that should have been my mind set for months and it just was not! I am sorry for all the negativity I have put you all through, but I just am going through a stage. I am ready for a new stage in my life. I am ready for 2014....it will be MY YEAR!!!!!! This blog has turned into not just a weight loss and fitness journey, but a story of my life. My ups and my downs. My life and how it functions daily be it sane or not.

Thank you to all the readers that have stayed loyal to reading. I know that this blog has changed and morphed but through it all, it has been my journey. And quite a journey it has been so far. We have lots of posts left to write, but I just want to say thank you.....and that here's to more positive attitudes!!!!!!

Day 141

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!!!!!!! Today all my post is going to consist of, what I am thankful for!!

I first and fore most am thankful for my family. I wouldn't be an ounce of the person I am with out them. My father and mother have taught me so much. They are truly the most incredible parents a girl could ask for! They have supported me through everything I have decided to do with my life. They have been so incredible and loving I couldn't imagine my life being any other way.

Second I am thankful for my sister and her family. Lauren and I didn't always get along, actually we fought all the time as children. But now I couldn't ask for a better friend. She is my best friend really. We can laugh, cry, and grow from each other. I am so lucky for that. I hope to some day be just an ounce of the mother and wife she is, and I will be okay.

Third, I am so thankful for my daughter and husband. I am blessed that I get to call them mine every day. I get to watch my little girl grow up every day into a sophisticated little lady. I get to watch Hayden be the most incredible father in the entire world. I have never seen someone love their child like he does.

Fourth, I am thankful for our Army family both near and far. We have been blessed enough to spend holidays with them, when family is not near. Each year we have had people to support us and help us through the tough times so we are not alone! I couldn't ask for a better network of people, friends, and family.

And last of all, (obviously I'm thankful for so much more, but not much more room) I am thankful for my friends. I am so lucky to have the friends that I have in my life. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the support I have from them.

No matter what happens in my life, sometimes it is good to say thank you to the people I love the most. I am so thankful to have you all in my life. I am just feeling so so blessed and no matter what, however sad I am, I am happy and thankful for the life I am living. From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving. I hope it is full of love and joy!!! And family!!!!

Day 140

Good Evening everyone. Today was quite the day getting ready for the holiday prep at work! We will be open nice long hours on Friday, so it should be quite enjoyable.....kinda. So I am so excited for tomorrow, to cook our turkey and to just relax all day and really enjoy my time with Hayden and Alayna. If I said I wasn't sad, that would be a lie. I am sad to not be with my family this year. I mean...I was talking with my Mom today and almost cried just talking on the phone with her. This year is just going to be different. And it's not that I am not happy to be spending it with Hayden and Alayna, but for 24 years I have done the same thing every year. I have woke up with the same people and opened my presents with the same people. It all changed a few years ago when my Nonnie passed away, but we were there for each other. We were able to help each other through it and support each other. I promised myself I would be with my family for every Christmas I could, because I needed them. And then this year came along.

Now I have done Thanksgiving's alone...but this one feels different. The last time we were alone, I had my best friend Melissa with me, the year before that, Hayden's dad came up with us. But this year, it's just the three of us, and it feels so lonely and sad. I know that it should be our time to build our own traditions, but you can not deny it's sad to have no one. I mean it's not even like we have friends to go over their house and enjoy their company. We will obviously make the most of it. We always do, but just know that all of you will be in my thoughts all day. I hope you all have an absolutely incredibly blessed Thanksgiving! Enjoy the time you have with your families! Enjoy every moment, every crazy and hectic moment! I would give anything for some crazy hectic moments this year. So I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and give thanks to the incredible amount of blessings you all have!!!

Day 138

Good Evening everyone!! I am not writing much today, because I just got home from work! These long days have made it very difficult to stay up late at night. I hope you all are having a wonderful evening. I am going shopping this week to try and figure out what a healthy thanksgiving I can have. I need to figure out how to get that same great flavor with not so unhealthy meals!

I know that we are making the turkey healthy and looking to cut down on the carbs, as much as Hayden is begging for mac and cheese with dinner, but I am trying my best! What are all of you doing to cut down on carbs and fats for Thanksgiving??

I hate to cut it here, but I will write more tomorrow when I have time! Enjoy your evenings everyone!!!!

Day 130

Good Evening everyone. Is it completely ridiculous that I decided to decorate my house for Christmas today??? We put our tree up, and I will tell you, I think it's because I am so sad to be alone for the holidays this year. As happy and blessed as I am to get to spend it with Hayden and Alayna, it will be my first year without my mom, dad, sister, brother, and nephews. It will be weird. I love my family more than words can even amount to, so it will be strange not to spend this time of year with them. I told Hayden today that it's not that I want Christmas to last longer, it's that the tree is really just a symbol of family, love, laughter, and a true feeling of joy. So of course I want it up as soon as possible because really....it just makes me happy!!

After I started talking about the holidays, I began to get very sad. I took a hard look at my situation right now, and realize that all the friends I have...live very far away. I haven't really found anyone down here, and it is really starting to bring me down. I don't have people to hang out with on the weekends, or girls night with my friends anymore....I have Hayden and Alayna. So I think if I could just find some friends maybe the holidays wouldn't feel so lonely!!!

Alright, sob story over....I can't believe how late it is, I'm sorry for writing so late again everyone!!! I will talk with all of you tomorrow!!!