So...I know I skipped a day of weighing in last week, due to the holiday, but I got back on that scale today...and let me tell you, I was terrified. I had felt as if I had put it all back on. I haven't been eating like I should be. I have been eating more emotionally than normal. So when I got on the scale this morning and saw that I had lost 1.6 pounds bringing my total back up to 39.5. It was exactly what I needed to kind of get me out of this funk.
I am not going to put on all smiles and say I am all better, but I am definitely on my way to being there. I feel better today. I feel more positive. I feel like this can all be managed. Which is the first time in a long time I have felt this way.
I know that a ton of people have stopped reading because this blog changed from what it originally was. But to be honest, I think this is exactly what I intended it to be. Somewhere that I could vent my daily problems to, while also taking myself on this incredible journey. I am still very much on that journey, it's just become more of a struggle than I thought it would be.
I am doing my best to play this big balancing act. I am doing my best to also keep sane through all of this. So I hope that you all can bear with me, and see that this is a journey for me. This is unlike any changes I have made in my life before and I am more than committed to it. Even if I say I quit some days, that means nothing, because I am more than committed. It's okay to slip every once in a while...but I ALWAYS get back up!!
Have a wonderful Friday everyone. I will try my best to stay more upbeat from here on out!!!
Showing posts with label No Cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label No Cheating. Show all posts
Friday, December 6, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Day 140
Good Evening everyone. Today was quite the day getting ready for the holiday prep at work! We will be open nice long hours on Friday, so it should be quite enjoyable.....kinda. So I am so excited for tomorrow, to cook our turkey and to just relax all day and really enjoy my time with Hayden and Alayna. If I said I wasn't sad, that would be a lie. I am sad to not be with my family this year. I mean...I was talking with my Mom today and almost cried just talking on the phone with her. This year is just going to be different. And it's not that I am not happy to be spending it with Hayden and Alayna, but for 24 years I have done the same thing every year. I have woke up with the same people and opened my presents with the same people. It all changed a few years ago when my Nonnie passed away, but we were there for each other. We were able to help each other through it and support each other. I promised myself I would be with my family for every Christmas I could, because I needed them. And then this year came along.
Now I have done Thanksgiving's alone...but this one feels different. The last time we were alone, I had my best friend Melissa with me, the year before that, Hayden's dad came up with us. But this year, it's just the three of us, and it feels so lonely and sad. I know that it should be our time to build our own traditions, but you can not deny it's sad to have no one. I mean it's not even like we have friends to go over their house and enjoy their company. We will obviously make the most of it. We always do, but just know that all of you will be in my thoughts all day. I hope you all have an absolutely incredibly blessed Thanksgiving! Enjoy the time you have with your families! Enjoy every moment, every crazy and hectic moment! I would give anything for some crazy hectic moments this year. So I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and give thanks to the incredible amount of blessings you all have!!!
Now I have done Thanksgiving's alone...but this one feels different. The last time we were alone, I had my best friend Melissa with me, the year before that, Hayden's dad came up with us. But this year, it's just the three of us, and it feels so lonely and sad. I know that it should be our time to build our own traditions, but you can not deny it's sad to have no one. I mean it's not even like we have friends to go over their house and enjoy their company. We will obviously make the most of it. We always do, but just know that all of you will be in my thoughts all day. I hope you all have an absolutely incredibly blessed Thanksgiving! Enjoy the time you have with your families! Enjoy every moment, every crazy and hectic moment! I would give anything for some crazy hectic moments this year. So I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and give thanks to the incredible amount of blessings you all have!!!
Friday, November 1, 2013
Day 114 - Weigh In
Good Morning everyone. Like I said yesterday, I knew this weigh in would be pointless. Nothing changed. And I realized that I didn't log into My Fitness Pal yesterday, so all 113 days of hard work aren't even showing on there anymore. I can't believe I didn't log in?!?! I felt very angry that I did that....I have worked too hard to give up now, but honestly, that's what it feels like I'm doing. I feel like I have been going on this journey so long, that now, I'm just kind of faking it. Yeah, I'm still losing weight, but not the way I was before. This feels so much like the lazy way.
So now, the feeling I have RIGHT NOW....is fury....and it is motivating. I am so furious with myself. I told myself (and other people too) when I got this job I would NOT let it get to me. I would keep going like I was before and I would let NOTHING get in my way. And then I let work get in my way. How could I??? I lied and cheated myself out of months of hard work. So I feel like I have to jump on this horse all over again. I don't think I wanted to admit to you guys (although I'm sure you could tell) that I had not been doing everything that I should be. And I am more mad at myself than anyone could be. I have been faking for too long, and it is time for me to jump on this horse, and try again. I refuse to be defeated. I refuse to let the food and laziness win.
I know in life that I will come into busy spots and life will just happen, but I can't let up completely. I have almost already given up on myself, and I just can't bear to do that. I am better than that. I know you all tell me, "You are too hard on yourself." "You are working and being a mom, you are doing great." "You are making it work.". But honestly, I'm not. I'm not making anything work. It is hard. Being a working mom, who is also trying to lose weight by eating healthy, and who is also trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week, and who is also trying to make sure she is spending enough time with her family....it is so hard. I mean, like, unbelievably hard. I don't know how people do it.....I mean really...I need some professional advice, because it is just really proving difficult. I said I wouldn't use tired as an excuse, but I am so damn tired it is unreal!!! How do I dig down deep and find the energy???
I apologize for all the venting. I think the missing a day on MFP was really my final straw. I can't keep being lazy. My body is paying for it, and I am so unhappy with myself for it. I am back at not wanting to look in the mirror really....So time to re-focus myself. Remember why I started, and GET BACK ON THAT HORSE!!!!!!!
Have a great Friday Everyone.
So now, the feeling I have RIGHT NOW....is fury....and it is motivating. I am so furious with myself. I told myself (and other people too) when I got this job I would NOT let it get to me. I would keep going like I was before and I would let NOTHING get in my way. And then I let work get in my way. How could I??? I lied and cheated myself out of months of hard work. So I feel like I have to jump on this horse all over again. I don't think I wanted to admit to you guys (although I'm sure you could tell) that I had not been doing everything that I should be. And I am more mad at myself than anyone could be. I have been faking for too long, and it is time for me to jump on this horse, and try again. I refuse to be defeated. I refuse to let the food and laziness win.
I know in life that I will come into busy spots and life will just happen, but I can't let up completely. I have almost already given up on myself, and I just can't bear to do that. I am better than that. I know you all tell me, "You are too hard on yourself." "You are working and being a mom, you are doing great." "You are making it work.". But honestly, I'm not. I'm not making anything work. It is hard. Being a working mom, who is also trying to lose weight by eating healthy, and who is also trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week, and who is also trying to make sure she is spending enough time with her family....it is so hard. I mean, like, unbelievably hard. I don't know how people do it.....I mean really...I need some professional advice, because it is just really proving difficult. I said I wouldn't use tired as an excuse, but I am so damn tired it is unreal!!! How do I dig down deep and find the energy???
I apologize for all the venting. I think the missing a day on MFP was really my final straw. I can't keep being lazy. My body is paying for it, and I am so unhappy with myself for it. I am back at not wanting to look in the mirror really....So time to re-focus myself. Remember why I started, and GET BACK ON THAT HORSE!!!!!!!
Have a great Friday Everyone.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Day 107 - Weigh In
Well.....I knew I wasn't going to hit my goal from last week. I didn't work for it. I should have worked harder and I didn't. I made excuses. I was tired, I got home too late, I have a headache, I want to spend time at home....they are excuses. I could have gone, and I just chose not to.
So I jumped on that scale today, knowing I wouldn't be happy with it, and boy was I right. I was .2 pounds down for a total of 36.5 pounds down.
Right now I think I am in a place where I just really need to time manage more than ever. It's going to be even more difficult when trying to run two stores, not just one, and still trying to somewhat have a life outside of work. I had this thought dropping Alayna off at Miss J's house (sitter), I bet she likes her more than me, she sees her more than me....I'm a terrible mother....
I wish I could say this wasn't a real thought, but it is. I hope some day she understands that I am working so hard for her. I work the hours and times I work, to provide her a better life. She deserves the most out of life, and I will work as hard as I possibly can to provide her with that.
So....what I think I need now, more than ever, is an daily agenda. Keeping to a strict daily routine will hopefully make it a little less difficult to keep on track. So when I said I wanted to work on lists on Tuesday, this was one of them. Making a schedule for me to keep to, would be amazing, and more convenient. Forcing myself to go to the gym at least four times a week. Making family time a special time, and really being there. Getting my blogs done in the mornings, so that I can have the evenings to really focus on Hayden and Alayna. And when I'm at work, be there....but disconnect once I get home.
That is what I need to work on for myself. A routine. Once I am in a routine, the rest will all fall into place.
SO I am leaving you all with that. I still need to get ready for work and somehow wake up. I slept awful again. I keep dreaming of work, so it's like I'm pulling 24 hour shifts! So off to the coffee machine for me! I hope you all have a wonderful day, and I know I am going to try to keep my head up and "Get em' next time". Because it's not how you start, but how you finish, and I WILL finish this next 44 days strong!!
So I jumped on that scale today, knowing I wouldn't be happy with it, and boy was I right. I was .2 pounds down for a total of 36.5 pounds down.
Right now I think I am in a place where I just really need to time manage more than ever. It's going to be even more difficult when trying to run two stores, not just one, and still trying to somewhat have a life outside of work. I had this thought dropping Alayna off at Miss J's house (sitter), I bet she likes her more than me, she sees her more than me....I'm a terrible mother....
I wish I could say this wasn't a real thought, but it is. I hope some day she understands that I am working so hard for her. I work the hours and times I work, to provide her a better life. She deserves the most out of life, and I will work as hard as I possibly can to provide her with that.
So....what I think I need now, more than ever, is an daily agenda. Keeping to a strict daily routine will hopefully make it a little less difficult to keep on track. So when I said I wanted to work on lists on Tuesday, this was one of them. Making a schedule for me to keep to, would be amazing, and more convenient. Forcing myself to go to the gym at least four times a week. Making family time a special time, and really being there. Getting my blogs done in the mornings, so that I can have the evenings to really focus on Hayden and Alayna. And when I'm at work, be there....but disconnect once I get home.
That is what I need to work on for myself. A routine. Once I am in a routine, the rest will all fall into place.
SO I am leaving you all with that. I still need to get ready for work and somehow wake up. I slept awful again. I keep dreaming of work, so it's like I'm pulling 24 hour shifts! So off to the coffee machine for me! I hope you all have a wonderful day, and I know I am going to try to keep my head up and "Get em' next time". Because it's not how you start, but how you finish, and I WILL finish this next 44 days strong!!
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Day 102
Good Evening everyone! I'm sorry this is so late. I got very down after my Mom and Dad left. Their time here went just way too fast! I don't know how it happens so fast!!! I wish I could slow things down to truly enjoy this time with my family. Alayna had such a great time with her Mema and Pappy! She loved carving pumpkins and making smores with them!
All in all, this weekend was incredible! I have no words for how much fun I had with them! I love being able to see them enjoy time with Alayna. I really enjoyed being able to have that special time with my parents. That race was so much fun! I can't wait to do another one with my Dad!!
So I know I should have more to say, but I have a lot to do before work tomorrow and have to be up by 5:00 am! SO you all have a wonderful evening! I'll write nice and early tomorrow.
All in all, this weekend was incredible! I have no words for how much fun I had with them! I love being able to see them enjoy time with Alayna. I really enjoyed being able to have that special time with my parents. That race was so much fun! I can't wait to do another one with my Dad!!
So I know I should have more to say, but I have a lot to do before work tomorrow and have to be up by 5:00 am! SO you all have a wonderful evening! I'll write nice and early tomorrow.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Day 93 - Weigh In
Good Morning and Happy Friday everyone!!! I hope you all are excited for the weekend and ready to relax as much as I am!! I got on that scale today....ready to face whatever it had to say....and I pleasantly looked down at a 1.8 lb loss bringing my total up to 35.5 lbs!!! That's a lot of weight to be missing!!! And I truly hope I never find it!!!!!
I can't believe it has really been 3 months. It just doesn't feel like it. Time seems to just fly by down here. In just two weeks it will be Halloween and then shortly after that, Thanksgiving, and then our Disney trip, and then Christmas!!!! I am so nervous for the holidays. There are just temptations lurking around every single corner!!! I know that I can be strong when I need to be, but I am a sucker for a good stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey, and gravy! I mean, who isn't??? But I will make it through one way or another.
I know in the long run, 93 days is nothing, when compared to my whole life being ahead of me. But I want to take all celebrations, both big and small along the way. So come celebrate with me this weekend with a reward. I think it is always good to reward yourself with something. Mine....is going to be a fresh new pair of running socks. It doesn't sound like much, but once you find that perfect pair, it's hard not to buy more!!! So treat yourselves...non food wise of course!!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!! Enjoy your family and friends and just BE happy!!!!
I can't believe it has really been 3 months. It just doesn't feel like it. Time seems to just fly by down here. In just two weeks it will be Halloween and then shortly after that, Thanksgiving, and then our Disney trip, and then Christmas!!!! I am so nervous for the holidays. There are just temptations lurking around every single corner!!! I know that I can be strong when I need to be, but I am a sucker for a good stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey, and gravy! I mean, who isn't??? But I will make it through one way or another.
I know in the long run, 93 days is nothing, when compared to my whole life being ahead of me. But I want to take all celebrations, both big and small along the way. So come celebrate with me this weekend with a reward. I think it is always good to reward yourself with something. Mine....is going to be a fresh new pair of running socks. It doesn't sound like much, but once you find that perfect pair, it's hard not to buy more!!! So treat yourselves...non food wise of course!!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!! Enjoy your family and friends and just BE happy!!!!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Day 90
Wow....day 90.....almost 100 days and I am NO where near where I wanted to be. This day was supposed to be this very celebratory day, and it is quite the opposite. I am very far from happy today. I look in the mirror and I am back to seeing the girl from 90 days ago. I am not seeing the girl I thought I would be seeing. So I just really need to hone in and figure out what is the most important to me. Figure out what it is that is important and stick to that. I know this seems like I am complaining, but I am just no where near where I thought I would be at this point in this journey.
I know this is a marathon and not a sprint, but I am unhappy with my progress so I am just going to have to figure out what I can do to fix it. I know I said that I would post a list today about what I really am going to start focusing on these next few weeks, but I don't know what that is just yet. I am thinking too long term when I really need to be thinking short term. I am thinking too much about what I want now, but can't have, then what I need now and what is to come. (if that makes sense).
I have so much work still to do that I don't know how I will ever get there. I am unfortunately thinking so much about what I want when this is over, than what I need to be focused on now. So I will leave you all with that this evening. I am trying to just vent this one out and work it out on my own, so I will let you all know how that goes tomorrow. Have a wonderful evening everyone!!
I know this is a marathon and not a sprint, but I am unhappy with my progress so I am just going to have to figure out what I can do to fix it. I know I said that I would post a list today about what I really am going to start focusing on these next few weeks, but I don't know what that is just yet. I am thinking too long term when I really need to be thinking short term. I am thinking too much about what I want now, but can't have, then what I need now and what is to come. (if that makes sense).
I have so much work still to do that I don't know how I will ever get there. I am unfortunately thinking so much about what I want when this is over, than what I need to be focused on now. So I will leave you all with that this evening. I am trying to just vent this one out and work it out on my own, so I will let you all know how that goes tomorrow. Have a wonderful evening everyone!!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Day 84
I knew I couldn't do it 3 days in a row!! I'm sorry everyone. And I am even more sorry that I am going to be really short tonight. Alayna is in QUITE the mood today, and I am busy dealing with that. Today I had the most awful urge to have something sugary and sweet...and I fought temptation all day with it. So when I got home, I had dinner and thought, "Maybe just a glass of lemonade". But then I REALLY thought about that decision. Was that what is best for me right now??? NOOOO!!!! I decided to go with water instead! I know it is just a small victory, but sometimes those are what we need to take. I am not the BEST at saying no to things. I am terrified when I need to go on my Disney trip, and giving in to all my favorite things. I know it is about portion control, and not over doing it, but sometimes that doesn't come as easily to me.
I know I am one to go back for seconds. I sometimes think about my family functions. I can't tell you how many events that we base strictly on food. I mean every Thanksgiving we have a huge breakfast, a round of appetizers, and then dinner, ohhh and dessert too......none of which we REALLY need!!! But we just keep eating it!! I don't know how I am going to do this holiday season. I won't even let Hayden keep the Halloween candy in the house, because I just am not ready to say no to that yet. But I am working hard at that.
I hope to grow this Holiday season. I hope that I can become a stronger person for it. I am leaving you with this tonight....what do you tell yourself to stop those awful cravings? What do you tell yourselves to get through tough situations?
I hope you all have a wonderful evening!!!
I know I am one to go back for seconds. I sometimes think about my family functions. I can't tell you how many events that we base strictly on food. I mean every Thanksgiving we have a huge breakfast, a round of appetizers, and then dinner, ohhh and dessert too......none of which we REALLY need!!! But we just keep eating it!! I don't know how I am going to do this holiday season. I won't even let Hayden keep the Halloween candy in the house, because I just am not ready to say no to that yet. But I am working hard at that.
I hope to grow this Holiday season. I hope that I can become a stronger person for it. I am leaving you with this tonight....what do you tell yourself to stop those awful cravings? What do you tell yourselves to get through tough situations?
I hope you all have a wonderful evening!!!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Day 78
Day 78.....the day before weigh in day and I will tell you it has been weighing on me all day. I DON'T think tomorrow is going to look good for me. I have not been as good as I would have hoped, and only worked out a couple times. It just wasn't the week I had hoped for. Next week is full force and taking care of myself!!! Working out, just the way that I need it to!
I know that I have been slacking on posts...I do! But we are heading into a new month and I PROMISE to take better care of all of you and post nice long posts every morning. It's just when I get up in the morning, it's either 15 minutes extra sleep or write...and some mornings, the extra sleep out weighs the writing. I'm sorry!!!! But we all know that weigh in day I am up and at em' nice and early, so I will definitely have a nice long post to write tomorrow. I also want to update you all on how things are feeling with my ankle....which is looking on the positive side!!!
SO unfortunately, Big Bang Theory is premiering tonight and I need to get watching!! I hope you all have a wonderful evening, and I will talk to you bright and early in the morning!!!
I know that I have been slacking on posts...I do! But we are heading into a new month and I PROMISE to take better care of all of you and post nice long posts every morning. It's just when I get up in the morning, it's either 15 minutes extra sleep or write...and some mornings, the extra sleep out weighs the writing. I'm sorry!!!! But we all know that weigh in day I am up and at em' nice and early, so I will definitely have a nice long post to write tomorrow. I also want to update you all on how things are feeling with my ankle....which is looking on the positive side!!!
SO unfortunately, Big Bang Theory is premiering tonight and I need to get watching!! I hope you all have a wonderful evening, and I will talk to you bright and early in the morning!!!
Friday, September 13, 2013
Day 65 - Weigh In
I wish I could be writing and telling you that I lost all this weight this week, and that I was feeling better this morning. But unfortunately, I can't shake this mood, and I am NOT happy with what came up on the scale today. I weighed in .7 pounds down for a total of 29.5 pounds down in 65 days.
I know what everyone is going to say, "Bethany, you've lost 29.5 pounds!!!". I am happy with that number, please don't take my bad mood as me being unhappy about losing 29.5 pounds. However, I am just not happy to lose less than 1 pound in one week.
I think it is time to go back to the gym no matter what. I guess I will just need to suck it up and try the bike again. I just can't stand this not going anymore. I know I will need to be more careful, but .7 every week is just not going to cut it in my book. I NEED to be putting in harder work to get better results. I know I am capable of more, because I have seen more in weeks previous.
On a different note, I think what has me feeling so down lately is that I feel very stuck. Granted I know changes are happening, I am feeling more stuck than ever. I think what it really is, is that I haven't seen any real physical changes in a couple weeks and it is starting to really weigh on me. I expect these great changes to happen and then nothing is happening. I look in the mirror and I am still that same person I was two weeks ago, and sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel like nothing has changed at all.
I know that I am sounding really sorry for myself right now, but I'm not. I am trying my best to take this attitude and do something about it, but it is very difficult. I just need to find that internal motivation to keep moving and I am having to dig deeper than I have in a very long time to do that. I mean.... .7 pounds in one week should be motivation enough to kick my butt into the gym and to go even harder. So hopefully this will jump start me ASAP!
I am going to leave you all there. I still have to get ready for work, and try to cheer up enough to be happy at work. I hope you all have an excellent Friday.
I know what everyone is going to say, "Bethany, you've lost 29.5 pounds!!!". I am happy with that number, please don't take my bad mood as me being unhappy about losing 29.5 pounds. However, I am just not happy to lose less than 1 pound in one week.
I think it is time to go back to the gym no matter what. I guess I will just need to suck it up and try the bike again. I just can't stand this not going anymore. I know I will need to be more careful, but .7 every week is just not going to cut it in my book. I NEED to be putting in harder work to get better results. I know I am capable of more, because I have seen more in weeks previous.
On a different note, I think what has me feeling so down lately is that I feel very stuck. Granted I know changes are happening, I am feeling more stuck than ever. I think what it really is, is that I haven't seen any real physical changes in a couple weeks and it is starting to really weigh on me. I expect these great changes to happen and then nothing is happening. I look in the mirror and I am still that same person I was two weeks ago, and sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel like nothing has changed at all.
I know that I am sounding really sorry for myself right now, but I'm not. I am trying my best to take this attitude and do something about it, but it is very difficult. I just need to find that internal motivation to keep moving and I am having to dig deeper than I have in a very long time to do that. I mean.... .7 pounds in one week should be motivation enough to kick my butt into the gym and to go even harder. So hopefully this will jump start me ASAP!
I am going to leave you all there. I still have to get ready for work, and try to cheer up enough to be happy at work. I hope you all have an excellent Friday.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Day 55
Day 55......already???? I don't even believe it! It doesn't feel like it has been that long already! I know towards the beginning of this journey, I made a list of why I was doing this. Some of those things have changed, and some have stayed the same, and I have also added to that list. I thought maybe today I would take a look at that list and remind myself why I want to be this new person so bad....
- Alayna....she is so important to me, and I know that she is (other than myself) the biggest reason I want to change.
- Hayden, of course. I want him to get the best possible version of me that is possible.
- My family....they also deserve the most amazing daughter and sister and aunt that is possible. So I need to be healthy and happy for them.
- To go shopping and not walk out of the store crying. Being able to shop at the same store as Hayden. I've never been able to, and I would love to not have to go to a special store just because I can't fit in the ones where he is (the clothes, not the store...that would be ridiculous!).
- Disney world!!!!! To be able to fit in the rides and keep up with my family. I want to make the most out of this trip, and if that means being healthy and happy, so be it!
- Fitting into a nice swimsuit without having to wear a cover up or tshirt the whole time!!
- To have some ABS!!!!! This one is self explanatory!
- Being able to keep up with Alayna and letting nothing hold me back!!
- Being able to wear heels and not feel like I'm going to fall down with every step!
- To feel comfortable in front of the camera, not just behind it.
So I changed and expanded some of the list, but they are all still relevant. I just feel like there is so much left to change, but still so much that has. I most of all, more than anything on this list, just want to be 100% happy and healthy with myself. I just want to be the best mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, friend, and person I can possibly be. I hope that I can constantly keep these goals in mind even when I am feeling down.
All of you, don't forget why you start something. I know sometimes we get so blinded by what we want...like that pizza, or drink, or whatever else is something you LOVE, but you just have to remember why you started. And don't EVER forget where you came from...it will help push you through any road block you come across.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Day 47
Well it is my first day off, and it has been so nice to hang out with Alayna. Thus, the late post. I want to take advantage of the time I do have with her since it seems like it is becoming less and less. I am still feeling pretty down today. I am trying my best to keep my head up though. I know I have made progress, and I can not deny that!
I am happy with what I am doing in my life so I can't keep getting down about the silly numbers. I am so lucky to have such wonderful family in my life to keep me going when I feel down. So thank you to everyone who had such uplifting things to say to me yesterday...I needed it!
So today I did promise you guys something, and you know what they say....a picture is worth a thousand words so here are my progress pictures until now. I posted one full body, and one of my face. I can honestly say the one of my face (before) is shameful. I can't believe I let it get to that. But I am on my way to change!!! Let me know what you guys think.
I am happy with what I am doing in my life so I can't keep getting down about the silly numbers. I am so lucky to have such wonderful family in my life to keep me going when I feel down. So thank you to everyone who had such uplifting things to say to me yesterday...I needed it!
So today I did promise you guys something, and you know what they say....a picture is worth a thousand words so here are my progress pictures until now. I posted one full body, and one of my face. I can honestly say the one of my face (before) is shameful. I can't believe I let it get to that. But I am on my way to change!!! Let me know what you guys think.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Day 41
Good Morning Everyone! As I sit here I am just thinking of all the things I am so stressed about. I am beginning to really worry about this whole gym schedule thing! I have not gone for a few days now and I am feeling so upset about it. Sunday we were interviewing babysitters all day, yesterday I didn't get home until late and Hayden was going to work, and today I have to go grocery shopping after work to stock the house. I am so worried that I am just going to forget and go back to my old life and I DON'T want that. I am in charge of my food, and doing well on that front. I am just really worried about my work out schedule.
I know this whole full time job thing is going to take some time to get used to it. And with that, I will find out a schedule that fits me perfectly. So until then I am just going to have to bear with the results. Now I do get on the scale every day just to see how the week is going, and it is still going well, even with just eating healthy! But I know it will be better with working out, once I figure out how to schedule all of that!
Now the job (even after one day) is going well. It is a lot of responsibility, but I am ready for it! It is amazing how much information I need to stuff into my brain in a 2 week period! Things I never thought I would be able to understand, I am beginning to!
So like I said today is consisting of....Alayna hanging out with the sitter and her daughter today, going to work, and going grocery shopping this evening! Grocery shopping has recently become my favorite activities. I enjoy being able to go get new and healthy food for the house! It really calms me down. Who would have thought! I hope you all have a wonderful day!!!
I know this whole full time job thing is going to take some time to get used to it. And with that, I will find out a schedule that fits me perfectly. So until then I am just going to have to bear with the results. Now I do get on the scale every day just to see how the week is going, and it is still going well, even with just eating healthy! But I know it will be better with working out, once I figure out how to schedule all of that!
Now the job (even after one day) is going well. It is a lot of responsibility, but I am ready for it! It is amazing how much information I need to stuff into my brain in a 2 week period! Things I never thought I would be able to understand, I am beginning to!
So like I said today is consisting of....Alayna hanging out with the sitter and her daughter today, going to work, and going grocery shopping this evening! Grocery shopping has recently become my favorite activities. I enjoy being able to go get new and healthy food for the house! It really calms me down. Who would have thought! I hope you all have a wonderful day!!!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Day 33
So Monday....we meet again....its incredible how this day has such a bad reputation!! It's the day that 46% of people decide to start a diet. And........are you ready for this incredibly depressing statistic? By Tuesday night, a shocking 31% of those people have quit or cheated in some way and just say "next week", but never go back. That is an incredible amount of people unable to stick to it! So if you started something today, just because it was Monday, don't. I made my decision mid week and I gave myself a whole week to just cheat!! To cheat like I had never cheated before. Eat everything that I possibly wanted, and everything I craved. Cravings can be so bad that they are all you think about, so it is good to nip some of those in the butt.
Now, I'm not saying I don't have cravings, because I absolutely do!! Maybe even more than others. But I have found a healthy way to exchange those cravings for new ones. Like pizza, I LOVE pizza. I mean I could totally eat a nice cheesy piece of pizza today...heck I used to be able to down lots of pizza. BUT like I have said previously, I just see it as every other time I quit, and I don't want it anymore. So now we make nice healthy pizzas. They have all the same flavor, but almost 75% less calories and 100% more health benefits. We started making new ones on whole grain flatbread wraps as opposed to the pitas. Much thinner than the pita, but so many more health benefits in the wrap, but same concept!
Another food I love so much is a good, juicy, cheesy, cheeseburger!!! I was a sucker for Elevation Burger in VA, but I can't even tell you how gross it was to see the calorie count next to the burger, and I still ordered it!!! So we decided to make our own version! They are lean lettuce wrapped burgers. The recipe is below!
1 lb ground beef (93/7) you could use lean ground turkey breast as another lean meat, I just prefer red meat!
salt
pepper
garlic powder
worcestershire sauce
4 large lettuce cups (I used a head of lettuce and then made a salad on the side with the leftovers)
1 cup shredded low-fat mozzarella
4 slices of tomato
57 sauce
Mix the meat with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and worcestershire sauce (like a teaspoon or two). Mix well and form into four patties (make the patties with a small bump in the middle, they cook better that way since the middle tends to sink in). We grilled ours, but you can do it any way you prefer! Once both sides are cooked to your liking, add 1/4 cup cheese to each burger and melt. Once done cooking, put a burger in each lettuce cup and add a slice of tomato and about a tablespoon of 57 sauce (or less depending on what you like). Enjoy!
I have found out through this journey that it is all about making decisions that are better for you! Just because things taste great, and look great, doesn't mean they are the best thing for your body. And on the contrary, it doesn't mean you can't have them ever again! It's about the choice to make healthier alternatives!! Your body is a temple, and you are the only one who can upkeep it!! So I will leave you all on that note, since today was a little lengthy. Just remember, if you are part of that 46% that started today....keep to it! Be the 14% that make it!! Prove that statistic wrong! I hope you all have an incredible Monday!
Now, I'm not saying I don't have cravings, because I absolutely do!! Maybe even more than others. But I have found a healthy way to exchange those cravings for new ones. Like pizza, I LOVE pizza. I mean I could totally eat a nice cheesy piece of pizza today...heck I used to be able to down lots of pizza. BUT like I have said previously, I just see it as every other time I quit, and I don't want it anymore. So now we make nice healthy pizzas. They have all the same flavor, but almost 75% less calories and 100% more health benefits. We started making new ones on whole grain flatbread wraps as opposed to the pitas. Much thinner than the pita, but so many more health benefits in the wrap, but same concept!
Another food I love so much is a good, juicy, cheesy, cheeseburger!!! I was a sucker for Elevation Burger in VA, but I can't even tell you how gross it was to see the calorie count next to the burger, and I still ordered it!!! So we decided to make our own version! They are lean lettuce wrapped burgers. The recipe is below!
1 lb ground beef (93/7) you could use lean ground turkey breast as another lean meat, I just prefer red meat!
salt
pepper
garlic powder
worcestershire sauce
4 large lettuce cups (I used a head of lettuce and then made a salad on the side with the leftovers)
1 cup shredded low-fat mozzarella
4 slices of tomato
57 sauce
Mix the meat with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and worcestershire sauce (like a teaspoon or two). Mix well and form into four patties (make the patties with a small bump in the middle, they cook better that way since the middle tends to sink in). We grilled ours, but you can do it any way you prefer! Once both sides are cooked to your liking, add 1/4 cup cheese to each burger and melt. Once done cooking, put a burger in each lettuce cup and add a slice of tomato and about a tablespoon of 57 sauce (or less depending on what you like). Enjoy!
I have found out through this journey that it is all about making decisions that are better for you! Just because things taste great, and look great, doesn't mean they are the best thing for your body. And on the contrary, it doesn't mean you can't have them ever again! It's about the choice to make healthier alternatives!! Your body is a temple, and you are the only one who can upkeep it!! So I will leave you all on that note, since today was a little lengthy. Just remember, if you are part of that 46% that started today....keep to it! Be the 14% that make it!! Prove that statistic wrong! I hope you all have an incredible Monday!
Friday, August 9, 2013
Day 30 - Weigh In
Well today has come!! It's finally weigh in day....And I can honestly say...I was REALLY hoping for more, but I am still happy!
This week I lost 2 lbs for a grand total of 17.5 pounds in 4 weeks gone. And never to be seen again!
Do I wish it was more around the 20 mark....absolutely! But I can honestly say that I am so happy to just be losing!! I know this is going to be a very long journey, and sometimes things will get frustrating, but slow and steady wins the race right? But I just need to keep my head up, and keep trucking no matter what the number says. I used to quit because the number was small, a zero, or I gained weight. I would just get so discouraged and just give up. Why keep going if I'm not doing it right??? And now I don't want to quit. Why would I change my life so drastically just to turn back into that very unhappy girl??
I can think of so many moments when I was unhappy with myself, and I could feel that disappointment in myself, but did NOTHING about it. You know Hayden and I went to a Nationals game last year, and I was so uncomfortable the whole time! The seat was too small for me and I was so embarrassed by it. I thought everyone in the whole place was looking at me....like I was not supposed to be there. Well later on in the game, we moved a couple rows down as people began to leave, and the seats were HUGE! So I began to think that maybe I over reacted a little bit, and maybe we just got really cheap seats! In my head...when things like that happen, I immediately think that everyone is just staring and laughing at me. It was almost all I thought about the whole time. I couldn't even enjoy one of the few date nights Hayden and I got because I was too upset with myself And I hate that I have that feeling (or HAD), every time I went in public. I just don't feel that way anymore, because I am so proud. I'm putting in a lot of hard work to change my life, and I wish I could just spread it around to the whole world!
So on that note, no more of that kind of negativity in my life. On to bigger and better things!! All these changes have made me a better person....and I can't wait to see the final person they change me into!!!
Have a great Friday everyone!!!
This week I lost 2 lbs for a grand total of 17.5 pounds in 4 weeks gone. And never to be seen again!
Do I wish it was more around the 20 mark....absolutely! But I can honestly say that I am so happy to just be losing!! I know this is going to be a very long journey, and sometimes things will get frustrating, but slow and steady wins the race right? But I just need to keep my head up, and keep trucking no matter what the number says. I used to quit because the number was small, a zero, or I gained weight. I would just get so discouraged and just give up. Why keep going if I'm not doing it right??? And now I don't want to quit. Why would I change my life so drastically just to turn back into that very unhappy girl??
I can think of so many moments when I was unhappy with myself, and I could feel that disappointment in myself, but did NOTHING about it. You know Hayden and I went to a Nationals game last year, and I was so uncomfortable the whole time! The seat was too small for me and I was so embarrassed by it. I thought everyone in the whole place was looking at me....like I was not supposed to be there. Well later on in the game, we moved a couple rows down as people began to leave, and the seats were HUGE! So I began to think that maybe I over reacted a little bit, and maybe we just got really cheap seats! In my head...when things like that happen, I immediately think that everyone is just staring and laughing at me. It was almost all I thought about the whole time. I couldn't even enjoy one of the few date nights Hayden and I got because I was too upset with myself And I hate that I have that feeling (or HAD), every time I went in public. I just don't feel that way anymore, because I am so proud. I'm putting in a lot of hard work to change my life, and I wish I could just spread it around to the whole world!
So on that note, no more of that kind of negativity in my life. On to bigger and better things!! All these changes have made me a better person....and I can't wait to see the final person they change me into!!!
Have a great Friday everyone!!!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Day 28
Day 28!!!!! I made it to the 4 week mark already!! I am just so happy about it!! I can't even to put it into words how great I feel! Can't you tell by all the exclamation marks?
Now today I thought of things I could talk about....what I do at the gym or food I eat, or what I do every day to keep myself going, or what goals I set for myself...But then I realized last night that I want to talk about gym etiquette! This may not apply to everyone, so if you want to jump ship for the rest of todays lesson feel free!
I have been going to the gym for almost 28 straight days (missed 2 days) and feel like I have made sure to do everything right. I bring my required towel, wipe my machine down after I'm done with each machine, go through each machine correctly without letting the weights bang around, and I take it really seriously!! Oh, and most of all.......I don't bring FOOD into the gym.
Last night was not the first time I have seen this happen. I don't know why it bothers me so, but it does! When I got to the gym yesterday, I got on my treadmill and started off any normal evening. I look to my right and there is a woman eating a Twix....ON the treadmill. I couldn't even believe it. But I got past it, because it's not me! She can do what she wants I guess!
And then...these two girls come in. Bigger girls and my thought was "good for you girls! That's great for you!!" But nay....they stayed on the treadmills taking (and I sadly quote) "SELFIESSSSS!!!". I quickly turned my headphones up higher. They continued to stay on the treadmills for about 5 minutes after taking a good amount of pictures and then moved onto the stepper for 5 minutes, elliptical for 5 minutes, bike for 5 minutes, then on to the weighted machines. Oh, and do you think they wiped any of the machines down after use??? Now I don't know if that goes for all gyms that you have to wipe them down with a disinfectant wipe, but you do here. Because who wants to touch a machine with all of your body sweat on it....ew.
So then they move onto the weight machines...which I have seen some really sweaty people get on and they always wipe it off with multiple wipes when finished. Now when I am on a machine I am doing 3-4 sets of 10-15 reps on each machine with a 60 second break in between. That is a (somewhat) proper way to be on a machine. I go slowly as to not let the weights bang when you go back to your start. (I have seen people get yelled out for the banging of weights) But these girls went to each machine and did one rep of each while loudly banging the weights around.
Now I don't know why I am so frustrated by this....I didn't think I was going to be a gym snob about it, but I am being one. This is not the first time any of these things have happened, but each time it does....my skin crawls with the idea of having to sit in someone else's sweat on a machine!!! So I apologize for the rant, but hopefully it can help you to prevent gym germs!!
Tonight we are doing lean lettuce wrapped burgers! I will post the recipe tomorrow!! Enjoy your Wednesday everyone!!
Now today I thought of things I could talk about....what I do at the gym or food I eat, or what I do every day to keep myself going, or what goals I set for myself...But then I realized last night that I want to talk about gym etiquette! This may not apply to everyone, so if you want to jump ship for the rest of todays lesson feel free!
I have been going to the gym for almost 28 straight days (missed 2 days) and feel like I have made sure to do everything right. I bring my required towel, wipe my machine down after I'm done with each machine, go through each machine correctly without letting the weights bang around, and I take it really seriously!! Oh, and most of all.......I don't bring FOOD into the gym.
Last night was not the first time I have seen this happen. I don't know why it bothers me so, but it does! When I got to the gym yesterday, I got on my treadmill and started off any normal evening. I look to my right and there is a woman eating a Twix....ON the treadmill. I couldn't even believe it. But I got past it, because it's not me! She can do what she wants I guess!
And then...these two girls come in. Bigger girls and my thought was "good for you girls! That's great for you!!" But nay....they stayed on the treadmills taking (and I sadly quote) "SELFIESSSSS!!!". I quickly turned my headphones up higher. They continued to stay on the treadmills for about 5 minutes after taking a good amount of pictures and then moved onto the stepper for 5 minutes, elliptical for 5 minutes, bike for 5 minutes, then on to the weighted machines. Oh, and do you think they wiped any of the machines down after use??? Now I don't know if that goes for all gyms that you have to wipe them down with a disinfectant wipe, but you do here. Because who wants to touch a machine with all of your body sweat on it....ew.
So then they move onto the weight machines...which I have seen some really sweaty people get on and they always wipe it off with multiple wipes when finished. Now when I am on a machine I am doing 3-4 sets of 10-15 reps on each machine with a 60 second break in between. That is a (somewhat) proper way to be on a machine. I go slowly as to not let the weights bang when you go back to your start. (I have seen people get yelled out for the banging of weights) But these girls went to each machine and did one rep of each while loudly banging the weights around.
Now I don't know why I am so frustrated by this....I didn't think I was going to be a gym snob about it, but I am being one. This is not the first time any of these things have happened, but each time it does....my skin crawls with the idea of having to sit in someone else's sweat on a machine!!! So I apologize for the rant, but hopefully it can help you to prevent gym germs!!
Tonight we are doing lean lettuce wrapped burgers! I will post the recipe tomorrow!! Enjoy your Wednesday everyone!!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Day 27
So yesterday wasn't such a great day. I was upset, sad, and feeling sorry for myself. And usually my first instinct is to eat something....frozen pizza, ice cream, or noodles (I really love carbs!!) but I thought about how silly it would be to waste a whole days hard work on something like that, that doesn't actually make me feel any better at all. So I decided I would take it out at the gym. And boy did I!!! I got such a great burn and it really was the best medicine. My sister made it very clear by talking me out of those negative feelings. I am finally working on myself, and I SHOULD be really proud of that!! Everything else in my life will fall into place, and until then I need to worry about taking care of myself!!! So no more negative feelings for me! I have no reason at all to be negative...too many good things going on in my life!!!
So some people had asked about what a normal day looks like for me calorie wise. So I figured I would just kind of briefly map that out for all of you, see if maybe that is a little easier to understand what a day looks like for me!
8:00 am - 9:00 am - One protein shake (used as a meal replacement)
12:00 pm - 1:00 pm - Whole wheat english muffin (REALLY high in fiber), 1 T. cream cheese, low fat string cheese, 1/4 cup raw almonds, and tomato and cucumber salad (sometimes)
3:00 pm Snack - Kashi cookie with 1 T. peanut butter (the cookie is really high in protein and fiber and tastes good too!!)
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm - Baked pork loin chop (seasoned with salt and pepper), brown rice, and green beans
After Work Out Snack - Green apple with 1 T. Peanut Butter
Things I look for through out my day....Make sure I am eating enough protein!!! Protein is really important because it is going to fuel your body through all the changes. I also make sure I am eating a lot of fiber so that I am feeling full throughout the day. Doing this meal guide and burning an additional 500-600 calories a day at the gym, I'm usually netting close to 1100-1200 calories. I try to keep it around 1200, but sometimes that is hard for me, which I am working on!!
I hope that it is helpful. I sometimes will snack between breakfast and lunch, just to make sure I am eating enough calories in a day, but I try not to. I try to make sure I am eating about every three hours to help my metabolism keep up. I'm not by any means saying that my daily eating is perfect or that I eat the same thing every day....I don't! But I just wanted to give you all an idea of how my day goes.
I know that this takes hard work and dedication. I know some people will say it is good to have a cheat meal (meal, not day!!) a week, but I just don't want to yet. I am working too hard to cheat yet. I think the way I have seen my cheat meals is in a really healthy way. Like my pita pizzas, whole wheat spaghetti, or my dark chocolate (one tiny square off the whole bar). It's just enough to make me feel better, but not enough to ruin any of the hard work I have put in. I have completely eliminated any drinks that aren't water, or water flavored with fruit. I have also stopped any sort of alcohol intake (which has been great!!). It definitely isn't worth it to me to drink my calories! I am just trying to take every healthy step forward that's possible and NO unhealthy steps backwards.
I really hope today's blog was helpful!! I'll think of something equally as helpful for tomorrow! I promise!! Have a great Tuesday everyone!!
So some people had asked about what a normal day looks like for me calorie wise. So I figured I would just kind of briefly map that out for all of you, see if maybe that is a little easier to understand what a day looks like for me!
8:00 am - 9:00 am - One protein shake (used as a meal replacement)
12:00 pm - 1:00 pm - Whole wheat english muffin (REALLY high in fiber), 1 T. cream cheese, low fat string cheese, 1/4 cup raw almonds, and tomato and cucumber salad (sometimes)
3:00 pm Snack - Kashi cookie with 1 T. peanut butter (the cookie is really high in protein and fiber and tastes good too!!)
6:00 pm - 7:00 pm - Baked pork loin chop (seasoned with salt and pepper), brown rice, and green beans
After Work Out Snack - Green apple with 1 T. Peanut Butter
Things I look for through out my day....Make sure I am eating enough protein!!! Protein is really important because it is going to fuel your body through all the changes. I also make sure I am eating a lot of fiber so that I am feeling full throughout the day. Doing this meal guide and burning an additional 500-600 calories a day at the gym, I'm usually netting close to 1100-1200 calories. I try to keep it around 1200, but sometimes that is hard for me, which I am working on!!
I hope that it is helpful. I sometimes will snack between breakfast and lunch, just to make sure I am eating enough calories in a day, but I try not to. I try to make sure I am eating about every three hours to help my metabolism keep up. I'm not by any means saying that my daily eating is perfect or that I eat the same thing every day....I don't! But I just wanted to give you all an idea of how my day goes.
I know that this takes hard work and dedication. I know some people will say it is good to have a cheat meal (meal, not day!!) a week, but I just don't want to yet. I am working too hard to cheat yet. I think the way I have seen my cheat meals is in a really healthy way. Like my pita pizzas, whole wheat spaghetti, or my dark chocolate (one tiny square off the whole bar). It's just enough to make me feel better, but not enough to ruin any of the hard work I have put in. I have completely eliminated any drinks that aren't water, or water flavored with fruit. I have also stopped any sort of alcohol intake (which has been great!!). It definitely isn't worth it to me to drink my calories! I am just trying to take every healthy step forward that's possible and NO unhealthy steps backwards.
I really hope today's blog was helpful!! I'll think of something equally as helpful for tomorrow! I promise!! Have a great Tuesday everyone!!
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