Day 149 - Weigh In

So...I know I skipped a day of weighing in last week, due to the holiday, but I got back on that scale today...and let me tell you, I was terrified. I had felt as if I had put it all back on. I haven't been eating like I should be. I have been eating more emotionally than normal. So when I got on the scale this morning and saw that I had lost 1.6 pounds bringing my total back up to 39.5. It was exactly what I needed to kind of get me out of this funk.

I am not going to put on all smiles and say I am all better, but I am definitely on my way to being there. I feel better today. I feel more positive. I feel like this can all be managed. Which is the first time in a long time I have felt this way.

I know that a ton of people have stopped reading because this blog changed from what it originally was. But to be honest, I think this is exactly what I intended it to be. Somewhere that I could vent my daily problems to, while also taking myself on this incredible journey. I am still very much on that journey, it's just become more of a struggle than I thought it would be.

I am doing my best to play this big balancing act. I am doing my best to also keep sane through all of this. So I hope that you all can bear with me, and see that this is a journey for me. This is unlike any changes I have made in my life before and I am more than committed to it. Even if I say I quit some days, that means nothing, because I am more than committed. It's okay to slip every once in a while...but I ALWAYS get back up!!

Have a wonderful Friday everyone. I will try my best to stay more upbeat from here on out!!!

Day 148

Good Evening everyone!!! I'm trying my best to keep my mind set positive and a good outlook on life. I am unfortunately so tired today. I haven't been sleeping well, so we will see how tonight goes, since I am exhausted. I have been so busy today, packing and preparing for our trip to Disney World. It is incredible how much stuff you think you need! And don't even realize it!

I am supposed to be up early tonight, so I should be able to write a little longer. It seems like time is going by so quickly these days, so I am just trying to make the best of it all. I know that we are almost done with this year, but I really want to go back on 2013 and realize all the things I am thankful for.

So while I close out this short post tonight, I want you all to remember what you are thankful for this past year! I hope you come up with some good things, and I would love to see them!! Have a wonderful evening everyone!!

Day 140

Good Evening everyone. Today was quite the day getting ready for the holiday prep at work! We will be open nice long hours on Friday, so it should be quite enjoyable.....kinda. So I am so excited for tomorrow, to cook our turkey and to just relax all day and really enjoy my time with Hayden and Alayna. If I said I wasn't sad, that would be a lie. I am sad to not be with my family this year. I mean...I was talking with my Mom today and almost cried just talking on the phone with her. This year is just going to be different. And it's not that I am not happy to be spending it with Hayden and Alayna, but for 24 years I have done the same thing every year. I have woke up with the same people and opened my presents with the same people. It all changed a few years ago when my Nonnie passed away, but we were there for each other. We were able to help each other through it and support each other. I promised myself I would be with my family for every Christmas I could, because I needed them. And then this year came along.

Now I have done Thanksgiving's alone...but this one feels different. The last time we were alone, I had my best friend Melissa with me, the year before that, Hayden's dad came up with us. But this year, it's just the three of us, and it feels so lonely and sad. I know that it should be our time to build our own traditions, but you can not deny it's sad to have no one. I mean it's not even like we have friends to go over their house and enjoy their company. We will obviously make the most of it. We always do, but just know that all of you will be in my thoughts all day. I hope you all have an absolutely incredibly blessed Thanksgiving! Enjoy the time you have with your families! Enjoy every moment, every crazy and hectic moment! I would give anything for some crazy hectic moments this year. So I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and give thanks to the incredible amount of blessings you all have!!!

Day 135 - Weigh In

Where do I even start to write this post. I have been dreading it since I woke up this morning, because I knew when I got on that scale today, it wasn't going to be good. I gained .9 pounds this week. There is no one that could more disappointed than me. However, I knew this was coming. I don't think I have been as honest with myself or you guys as I really should be. I am stressed and the thing I do best when I am stressed....is the thing I should NOT be doing. I can't even believe that I am sitting here writing this.....I know what I NEED to do, but for some reason I am just having a really hard time with it. I really need to refocus myself and figure out what I can do to get back on track. I am so upset with this week and it was quite the realization of how bad I really have been doing.

So this week needs to be a fresh start. Restart those initial two weeks to get back on track when I started. I don't know why I have been having such a hard time, but this is me taking the high road and admitting that I have failed. I have failed pretty miserably....So I have to do something about it. I'm not trying to be negative about this situation. I know that this happens in any journey, but I just thought this time would be different. I am so used to disappointing myself and everyone around me, and I'm right back to that point. I can't believe that I have done it again. So I need to figure out what makes this time different!

I had such high hopes for this trip, and now all that is rushing through my mind are all my initial fears going on this trip. This is not how I imagined going and looking when going. But I have to somehow make the most of it. I wanted to be in a different place in this journey and I am no where near that. Not that I want to blame anyone for my mistakes, or my faults, but this job has been rough to make it all work. And it seems like any time something changes, I make an excuse to quit. So no more. I am going to make this work....I don't know how, but now it is just about figuring it out!

So to close, I think what is weighing on me most, is I had a conversation with my Mom when I started this job. I told her no matter what I would keep doing everything I was doing, because I didn't want to change anything about this journey and I failed. I hate going back on something I thought I could do. And I know that she won't be upset, but I am so disappointed in myself. I know you all are going to say I am too tough on myself, and I am, but it's how I have to be if I want something to change. And I do. I am so upset with where I am, and I am just hoping that I can turn that into motivation. I made a promise to my mom and myself that I would keep going through it all, and I have let her and myself down. Time to make the change. Better late than never right?

You all have an excellent Friday....I have a lot of thinking and rearranging to do on mine!!!

Day 133

Good Morning Everyone!!! I hope you all are having a great morning! I am trying to keep positive. I also had a discovery last night.....no matter how much I try to focus on just me, like I talked about last night, I will always put others first, and that's okay. I don't know why, but it's just how I am. I try to switch it off, but I just can't, and that's not a bad thing! You know, when I was in school, I was the person other people came to with problems. People would let me know what was going on, and I was just a good ear, shoulder, or hug that they needed. I am okay with being that. So I will continue to focus on me, but I will make sure to have a balance. And I will ALSO make sure to go to someone if I feel the need to talk to someone!

So I also know I keep saying that I don't really have anyone here....wah wah wah...right? I hate feeling sorry for myself. And then I had a shocking realization, I do have people. They know who they are, and I am so thankful for their support. It truly does keep me going every day. I know that working, eating right, going to they gym, taking care of Alayna and Hayden, and keeping a house clean is not all that much work, but sometimes it gets to be a lot. And I am so lucky to have these people in my life. I guess I just thought it was time to give some credit, where credit is due, so to you guys, I say THANK YOU! I have been so lucky to find people here, not many, but enough to make my days so much better!!!

So I'm trying to think of what the point of this post was supposed to be....early mornings tend to mess with my brain a little bit! I guess what it really comes down to, is I don't think I can change who I am. I will always put others first. I got it from my grandmother. I guess it is why I care so much about what others have to say about me, because I work so hard to make everyone else happy. I know I shouldn't care, but I do.....So I will continue to care about others, I will thank everyone for what they do (too much usually), and I will try my very best to still keep a focus on me!!!

So I think this post was a little rambly, but I hope it got my point across. I am happy to help others, and I thought that would be what I needed to focus on to make myself more focused, but it isn't. I need to focus on doing everything! I need to just spread myself evenly across everything! So in closing, have a great Wednesday and I will talk to all of you tomorrow!!!!

Day 128 - Weigh In

FINALLY!!!!!!! I finally saw the scale go down this week!!!!! I couldn't be happier about what I saw today. I am down 2.3 pounds for a total of 38.8 pounds GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was terrified to jump on the scale today, but turns out, it wasn't so scary!! I know this week has been crazy, and I am still feeling all the feelings I was feeling yesterday, but I feel better knowing that something is improving!!!

I sat down last night, and prayed about all my stress and worrying. I prayed for some peace of mind. I think right now, that is my biggest down fall, is that I worry too much. I stress out too easy. And most of all I think too deeply into things. I need to have some peace of mind with these things in life. God would not hand me anything I can not handle, and I have to hold true to that. If I don't, what else do I have??

I have been through a lot in life, and I tend to continue to let things weigh on me, far longer than they need to. I worry more than any other person I know, and I stress out easier than any other person I know. It's just how I have always been. How do I change that about myself? I know I get it from my grandmother, and I get wonderful things from her as well, but these are the two things I wish and try to change about myself, but am simply unable to. I have tried numerous things, and I still tend to come up short. So I guess for now I just keep trying. Like every other journey in my life I need to take time to do it. I have so much going on and I need to organize all my quirks I guess.

They make me who I am, but sometimes, they make me hate myself. They cause trouble at times. Sometimes, I need to just let go, and let God.....and I don't. I hold on and try to handle it all myself, and it NEVER works!!! So I guess as happy as I am today, I am still burdened (and pretty scatter brained too!). I hate feeling so much weight on my shoulders and still do nothing about it

So I am going to try to handle today one moment at a time, take time to celebrate the little things, and not stress or worry too much about the other things. Realize that they are out of my hands, and whatever happens, happens. No matter what I always stay true to myself....it makes me a stronger person.

I hope you all have an incredible Friday...enjoy the little things and don't worry about the big things!!!

Day 120

Hello Everyone!!! I hope you all are having an incredible morning! I woke up this morning with a new out look. My dad sent me this message yesterday that was so full of impact for me!!

"Life is a pilgrimage, but sometimes you need pilgrimage to discover life."

That couldn't be more true! I think sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget to really experience and figure it out. So I really need to hone in and figure out what is important. I only have so many days left before I go to Disney World, and not like I am stopping then, but I need to really kick it into gear. So I need to really focus on what is important right now.

I know I keep saying that, and then doing nothing, but I REALLY mean it this time. I don't know what has been my problem lately, and why I have been so lazy, but I just want to get back into my routines. I know it is about getting into a routine, but I am just really struggling with it. It is so hard to work, long days at that, and to come home and cook, and then to work out too??? It gets to be a lot. So I guess it is about just sucking it up, and figuring it out. So now I WILL figure it out.

To give you all a little snapshot of my days:

6:00 am - Get up, get me ready, get Alayna ready, and Miss J. comes.

7:30 am - Head to work for the day, and run around ALL day until around 6:00/7:00.

7:00 pm - Make and eat dinner

8:30 pm - Watch a little bit of TV with Hayden and Alayna and work on anything I need to finalize for work.

9:00 pm - BED!!!!!

So I guess what it really comes down to, is that at 9:00....I need to go to the gym and then go to bed after that. It will just be about sucking it up and getting there. So I promise....starting today...my butt is GOING TO THE GYM!!!!!!

I hope you all hold me accountable here! I better get a slurry of messages telling me to get to the gym!!!! I hope you all have a great day, and I will write tomorrow...for weigh in day. (Which I KNOW will not be a good one). Until tomorrow!

Day 116

So today we went to the Columbia County Fair, and my goodness was it fun!!! I had such a good time with Alayna, and when we originally got there, I didn't want to ride the rides. The feelings I had when I tried to ride rides last time returned. "I'm not going to fit, I'm too big, people will ask me to get off". It was embarrassing last time. It hurt inside more than I can even explain....but this time...I fit in everything I went on!!! It was SO much fun to do these things as a family! I had such a blast with Hayden and Alayna. And we took pictures together, and guess what....I liked them!!! I for some reason just feel like I look better....happier!

Can anyone please fill me in...do I look happier in pictures? Because I feel happier in them. I don't feel like the Big Girl anymore! It is such a relieving feeling!

Tomorrow I have to be up early to go to work. So I am unfortunately going to keep it kind of short tonight. I want you all to know that I am scarily close to my Disney trip, so it is time to really step it up! I am ready to have the most amazing time of my life....I want my sister and brother to see me and say "WOW!". So I need to really start working hard. I am still tweaking how I am going to make it work, but I am going to MAKE IT WORK!!!


Have an amazing Sunday night everyone!!

Day 114 - Weigh In

Good Morning everyone. Like I said yesterday, I knew this weigh in would be pointless. Nothing changed. And I realized that I didn't log into My Fitness Pal yesterday, so all 113 days of hard work aren't even showing on there anymore. I can't believe I didn't log in?!?! I felt very angry that I did that....I have worked too hard to give up now, but honestly, that's what it feels like I'm doing. I feel like I have been going on this journey so long, that now, I'm just kind of faking it. Yeah, I'm still losing weight, but not the way I was before. This feels so much like the lazy way.

So now, the feeling I have RIGHT NOW....is fury....and it is motivating. I am so furious with myself. I told myself (and other people too) when I got this job I would NOT let it get to me. I would keep going like I was before and I would let NOTHING get in my way. And then I let work get in my way. How could I??? I lied and cheated myself out of months of hard work. So I feel like I have to jump on this horse all over again. I don't think I wanted to admit to you guys (although I'm sure you could tell) that I had not been doing everything that I should be. And I am more mad at myself than anyone could be. I have been faking for too long, and it is time for me to jump on this horse, and try again. I refuse to be defeated. I refuse to let the food and laziness win.

I know in life that I will come into busy spots and life will just happen, but I can't let up completely. I have almost already given up on myself, and I just can't bear to do that. I am better than that. I know you all tell me, "You are too hard on yourself." "You are working and being a mom, you are doing great." "You are making it work.". But honestly, I'm not. I'm not making anything work. It is hard. Being a working mom, who is also trying to lose weight by eating healthy, and who is also trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week, and who is also trying to make sure she is spending enough time with her family....it is so hard. I mean, like, unbelievably hard. I don't know how people do it.....I mean really...I need some professional advice, because it is just really proving difficult. I said I wouldn't use tired as an excuse, but I am so damn tired it is unreal!!! How do I dig down deep and find the energy???


I apologize for all the venting. I think the missing a day on MFP was really my final straw. I can't keep being lazy. My body is paying for it, and I am so unhappy with myself for it. I am back at not wanting to look in the mirror really....So time to re-focus myself. Remember why I started, and GET BACK ON THAT HORSE!!!!!!!

Have a great Friday Everyone.

Day 111

Hello Everyone!! Today was a LONG day! I can't believe how busy it was. I ran around with the owner of the company today, and it was really awesome. When I worked at Splendid, it was no big deal to see Ken (no offense Ken, I saw you all the time!), but here, he lives in Chicago, and you are lucky to see him twice a year. So to meet him this soon....was pretty cool!!

I have been so focused on work lately, and it is paying off. I love my job, and to be noticed for doing well...it's nice. I don't want to talk just about work...but I do want to talk about life. There are only 40 days left until Disney, and I have a lot of work to start putting in. Now that this stressful period at work has slowed down a little, I can get back focused on that!!!

So I am keeping it short tonight. I'm tired, and I want to spend some time with Hayden and Alayna. I hope you all have an amazing evening and I will write more tomorrow!!!

Day 107 - Weigh In

Well.....I knew I wasn't going to hit my goal from last week. I didn't work for it. I should have worked harder and I didn't. I made excuses. I was tired, I got home too late, I have a headache, I want to spend time at home....they are excuses. I could have gone, and I just chose not to.

So I jumped on that scale today, knowing I wouldn't be happy with it, and boy was I right. I was .2 pounds down for a total of 36.5 pounds down.

Right now I think I am in a place where I just really need to time manage more than ever. It's going to be even more difficult when trying to run two stores, not just one, and still trying to somewhat have a life outside of work. I had this thought dropping Alayna off at Miss J's house (sitter), I bet she likes her more than me, she sees her more than me....I'm a terrible mother....

I wish I could say this wasn't a real thought, but it is. I hope some day she understands that I am working so hard for her. I work the hours and times I work, to provide her a better life. She deserves the most out of life, and I will work as hard as I possibly can to provide her with that.

So....what I think I need now, more than ever, is an daily agenda. Keeping to a strict daily routine will hopefully make it a little less difficult to keep on track. So when I said I wanted to work on lists on Tuesday, this was one of them. Making a schedule for me to keep to, would be amazing, and more convenient. Forcing myself to go to the gym at least four times a week. Making family time a special time, and really being there. Getting my blogs done in the mornings, so that I can have the evenings to really focus on Hayden and Alayna. And when I'm at work, be there....but disconnect once I get home.

That is what I need to work on for myself. A routine. Once I am in a routine, the rest will all fall into place.

SO I am leaving you all with that. I still need to get ready for work and somehow wake up. I slept awful again. I keep dreaming of work, so it's like I'm pulling 24 hour shifts! So off to the coffee machine for me! I hope you all have a wonderful day, and I know I am going to try to keep my head up and "Get em' next time". Because it's not how you start, but how you finish, and I WILL finish this next 44 days strong!!

Day 96

I am so so sorry it is so late tonight!! I got home late and then decided to eat dinner and enjoy it with my family instead of keeping my nose in my computer. I am going to work late tomorrow so I will be able to be up and blogging in the morning!!!

I know I have been kind of short with you guys, and I am sorry for that, but life has been really busy these last few days with work and trying to catch up around the house. BUT I will make sure to write a nice long post tomorrow. Tell you all about my upcoming doctors appointment and my visit that is coming up with my mom and dad!!!!

SO you all have a wonderful evening and I PROMISE you more to come tomorrow!!

Day 93 - Weigh In

Good Morning and Happy Friday everyone!!! I hope you all are excited for the weekend and ready to relax as much as I am!! I got on that scale today....ready to face whatever it had to say....and I pleasantly looked down at a 1.8 lb loss bringing my total up to 35.5 lbs!!! That's a lot of weight to be missing!!! And I truly hope I never find it!!!!!

I can't believe it has really been 3 months. It just doesn't feel like it. Time seems to just fly by down here. In just two weeks it will be Halloween and then shortly after that, Thanksgiving, and then our Disney trip, and then Christmas!!!! I am so nervous for the holidays. There are just temptations lurking around every single corner!!! I know that I can be strong when I need to be, but I am a sucker for a good stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey, and gravy! I mean, who isn't??? But I will make it through one way or another.

I know in the long run, 93 days is nothing, when compared to my whole life being ahead of me. But I want to take all celebrations, both big and small along the way. So come celebrate with me this weekend with a reward. I think it is always good to reward yourself with something. Mine....is going to be a fresh new pair of running socks. It doesn't sound like much, but once you find that perfect pair, it's hard not to buy more!!! So treat yourselves...non food wise of course!!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!! Enjoy your family and friends and just BE happy!!!!

Day 90

Wow....day 90.....almost 100 days and I am NO where near where I wanted to be. This day was supposed to be this very celebratory day, and it is quite the opposite. I am very far from happy today. I look in the mirror and I am back to seeing the girl from 90 days ago. I am not seeing the girl I thought I would be seeing. So I just really need to hone in and figure out what is the most important to me. Figure out what it is that is important and stick to that. I know this seems like I am complaining, but I am just no where near where I thought I would be at this point in this journey.

I know this is a marathon and not a sprint, but I am unhappy with my progress so I am just going to have to figure out what I can do to fix it. I know I said that I would post a list today about what I really am going to start focusing on these next few weeks, but I don't know what that is just yet. I am thinking too long term when I really need to be thinking short term. I am thinking too much about what I want now, but can't have, then what I need now and what is to come. (if that makes sense).

I have so much work still to do that I don't know how I will ever get there. I am unfortunately thinking so much about what I want when this is over, than what I need to be focused on now. So I will leave you all with that this evening. I am trying to just vent this one out and work it out on my own, so I will let you all know how that goes tomorrow. Have a wonderful evening everyone!!

Day 89

Good Evening everyone!! I can't apologize enough for yesterday! I was so tired and honestly I am again today. I can't believe how much I have been trying to catch up on the last couple days, that it is really wearing me out. I want to to keep it really short today and just talk a little bit about some goals I want to set tomorrow morning. I want to figure out some things that I really want to achieve before December, and I will post it tomorrow.

Any good goals you all think I should try to reach soon? I can't wait to hear them!

Have a wonderful evening everyone! I am heading to bed early again tonight!! Sleep well everyone!!!

Day 84

I knew I couldn't do it 3 days in a row!! I'm sorry everyone. And I am even more sorry that I am going to be really short tonight. Alayna is in QUITE the mood today, and I am busy dealing with that. Today I had the most awful urge to have something sugary and sweet...and I fought temptation all day with it. So when I got home, I had dinner and thought, "Maybe just a glass of lemonade". But then I REALLY thought about that decision. Was that what is best for me right now??? NOOOO!!!! I decided to go with water instead! I know it is just a small victory, but sometimes those are what we need to take. I am not the BEST at saying no to things. I am terrified when I need to go on my Disney trip, and giving in to all my favorite things. I know it is about portion control, and not over doing it, but sometimes that doesn't come as easily to me.

I know I am one to go back for seconds. I sometimes think about my family functions. I can't tell you how many events that we base strictly on food. I mean every Thanksgiving we have a huge breakfast, a round of appetizers, and then dinner, ohhh and dessert too......none of which we REALLY need!!! But we just keep eating it!! I don't know how I am going to do this holiday season. I won't even let Hayden keep the Halloween candy in the house, because I just am not ready to say no to that yet. But I am working hard at that.

I hope to grow this Holiday season. I hope that I can become a stronger person for it. I am leaving you with this tonight....what do you tell yourself to stop those awful cravings? What do you tell yourselves to get through tough situations?

I hope you all have a wonderful evening!!!

Day 78

Day 78.....the day before weigh in day and I will tell you it has been weighing on me all day. I DON'T think tomorrow is going to look good for me. I have not been as good as I would have hoped, and only worked out a couple times. It just wasn't the week I had hoped for. Next week is full force and taking care of myself!!! Working out, just the way that I need it to!

I know that I have been slacking on posts...I do! But we are heading into a new month and I PROMISE to take better care of all of you and post nice long posts every morning. It's just when I get up in the morning, it's either 15 minutes extra sleep or write...and some mornings, the extra sleep out weighs the writing. I'm sorry!!!! But we all know that weigh in day I am up and at em' nice and early, so I will definitely have a nice long post to write tomorrow. I also want to update you all on how things are feeling with my ankle....which is looking on the positive side!!!

SO unfortunately, Big Bang Theory is premiering tonight and I need to get watching!! I hope you all have a wonderful evening, and I will talk to you bright and early in the morning!!!

Day 70

Day 70!!!! Unbelievable! Really...I can't even believe it! I apologize for the late post again, work was crazy today, and when I got home it was time to spend with Alayna. I have a lot of long days coming up because of some new phone launches coming (can't legally discuss that information in whole ;) ). I was thinking today how much I am trying to juggle right now, that I don't even know how I'm doing it, but somehow I am making it work. I keep getting these updates from our babysitter about how well she is doing and it makes me so happy!

Today she sent me a picture and video of Alayna at the library doing craft time and reading time. It was incredible to see how much she is developing and learning! She can now write A, B, C, and D and spell her name. I am so impressed with how well she is doing, it just pushes me to do well as well.

I am going to keep tonight short, which I know I have been saying a lot lately, but I promise that one of these days I am going to write a very long post about things more personally and how I have been feeling lately. I PROMISE!!! It's coming!! So I bid you all a well evening tonight....I am off to watch a movie with Hayden and relax!

Goodnight everyone <3

Day 65 - Weigh In

I wish I could be writing and telling you that I lost all this weight this week, and that I was feeling better this morning. But unfortunately, I can't shake this mood, and I am NOT happy with what came up on the scale today. I weighed in .7 pounds down for a total of 29.5 pounds down in 65 days.

I know what everyone is going to say, "Bethany, you've lost 29.5 pounds!!!". I am happy with that number, please don't take my bad mood as me being unhappy about losing 29.5 pounds. However, I am just not happy to lose less than 1 pound in one week.

I think it is time to go back to the gym no matter what. I guess I will just need to suck it up and try the bike again. I just can't stand this not going anymore. I know I will need to be more careful, but .7 every week is just not going to cut it in my book. I NEED to be putting in harder work to get better results. I know I am capable of more, because I have seen more in weeks previous.

On a different note, I think what has me feeling so down lately is that I feel very stuck. Granted I know changes are happening, I am feeling more stuck than ever. I think what it really is, is that I haven't seen any real physical changes in a couple weeks and it is starting to really weigh on me. I expect these great changes to happen and then nothing is happening. I look in the mirror and I am still that same person I was two weeks ago, and sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel like nothing has changed at all.

I know that I am sounding really sorry for myself right now, but I'm not. I am trying my best to take this attitude and do something about it, but it is very difficult. I just need to find that internal motivation to keep moving and I am having to dig deeper than I have in a very long time to do that. I mean.... .7 pounds in one week should be motivation enough to kick my butt into the gym and to go even harder. So hopefully this will jump start me ASAP!

I am going to leave you all there. I still have to get ready for work, and try to cheer up enough to be happy at work. I hope you all have an excellent Friday.

Day 63

Alright everyone....I forgot to write this morning! I am so sorry!!! I am going to keep tonight VERY short! Just enough to fill you in on how yesterdays appointment went.

I got the results back (preliminarily) and the Achilles is fully in tact, which is GREAT!! However, the muscle surrounding it is damaged. And there is a lot of fluid build up in my ankle around the accessory muscle (whatever that is). So I will now have to try to get an ortho appointment and we can go from there on how to fix it. The pain has just been increasing day by day and I am hoping to get this moving quickly because of it.

I told Hayden I wanted to go to the gym tonight, but we both discussed, and I am going to wait until next week after my regular appointment to see what the doctor says I should do.

I apologize again for no post! It just completely slipped my mind this morning while getting ready. I hope you all had a wonderful Wednesday!! I will write a longer post tomorrow, I promise!!