Day 167

Alright everyone, I'm trying my best to stay positive today. I have had a long, grueling day, and to say it has tested me, would be an understatement. I am having a hard time lately accepting things that I don't have any control over. I work hard and sometimes I just don't think that it is always being seen. I try my best to do my best, and it just doesn't seem to be enough. I have been discouraged about things in the past, and I am trying to stay positive about these things, but I just find it very trying at times. I have decided to stop counting the days on my blog....a few reasons why... A. It is no longer accurate, because I skipped so much time. B. I think I have more meaningful things to say than, DAY XXXXX. C. I need to give you a little heads up of what is coming... All in favor say "I". I'll tally up all two votes at the end of the evening. I know I have been more absent than usual on my blog, and the reason is I am either feeling too sick to write, or I am just too busy at work. I have no happy medium as of late. SO I will really try to make a more conscience effort to write to you all. You know my dad messaged me and said he needed it for motivation. I don't think I am really motivating that many people with my rambles. If this blog has been anything, it's just been away for me to get away with the talking inside my head haha. But on a serious note, this blog calms me and brings me peace. It is a way for me to work through problems by almost talking to this virtual reality that is all of you. I know sometimes I can stray from what the real goal is of this blog, but in the end it is and always has been about bettering myself. Which I am slowly but surely doing. I need to be around positive vibes and energies to make myself a better more well rounded person, so my goal is to find people who want to be as positive and happy as me. I don't have any people here that are close to me like my friends at home were, and I may never find people like them again. But enough is enough. I am tired of hiding behind a computer, or a house saying I don't have time. Now is the time for me to get out there and make some new friends that understand me. I need some positive energy in my life, or I will be stuck in this rutt forever. SO on that note, I apologize for another rambly post, but please let me know what you think about my daily titles. It means a lot when you guys respond. I am working on getting healthier (illness wise), so I should be feeling more up for writing now! I will promise to get back into my daily routine as soon as possible! Have a great evening everyone!!

Day 166

Good Evening everyone! I'm sorry I haven't written in a couple days. I have been kind of busy with work and still sick. I somehow got like a third round of plague and am hoping to start feeling better soon! I thought this morning I was feeling better and somehow I am feeling sick again. So I am going to rest all day tomorrow and hopefully that will help!

So what have you missed....I recently celebrated my 4 year wedding anniversary! Went out on a date with Hayden for the first time in YEARS!! I honestly think it has been about two years since we have gone out on a date, so that was so nice!! Went to a nice Japanese steakhouse and then a movie! It was a good time.

I am keeping tonight short, since I am really not feeling all that well and I am ready for bed already. I feel like I am about a thousand years old...going to bed at 10 on a Saturday! But I am going to write a nice long post tomorrow while I am relaxing!

I hope you all have a wonderful evening!!

Day 163

Good Evening everyone! I had a nice long day today and I am so tired. I didn't think that I would have trouble waking up this morning after getting home late, but boy was I wrong. I was so tired this morning because I could not seem to go to bed after the gym last night. I was so fired up that I wanted to just keep going, so when I came home, I wanted to just stay up!!

So back to this morning, I did get on the scale for the first time in a while. I reset my "MFP" and I am not happy with what I saw at all. But like I said, I am ready to make that number just rocket downwards! I know that I wasn't on my A game these last few months, but it is back to business. I am tired of letting myself and others down. I know that I can commit to this!! I am ready to start that initial 2 weeks that I hate so much....If I can get there, I can get back on track and start seeing the results I love so much!!!

So I hope that you all are back on board with me! I know that I was absent for some time, but I am here, and I am ready to start this journey back up again. I am not happy with myself, but I am letting it motivate me. I look in the mirror now and see potential! That's something that has taken me a very long time to come to terms with. It's not that I am demotivated by that person, but I strive to make her a better person. I love myself, and I never thought that possible. This journey is just about improving upon what is already there!!

Have a great Friday Night everyone! We are spending ours cuddled up watching movies and keeping the fire on since it's freezing!! Enjoy!!!

Day 149 - Weigh In

So...I know I skipped a day of weighing in last week, due to the holiday, but I got back on that scale today...and let me tell you, I was terrified. I had felt as if I had put it all back on. I haven't been eating like I should be. I have been eating more emotionally than normal. So when I got on the scale this morning and saw that I had lost 1.6 pounds bringing my total back up to 39.5. It was exactly what I needed to kind of get me out of this funk.

I am not going to put on all smiles and say I am all better, but I am definitely on my way to being there. I feel better today. I feel more positive. I feel like this can all be managed. Which is the first time in a long time I have felt this way.

I know that a ton of people have stopped reading because this blog changed from what it originally was. But to be honest, I think this is exactly what I intended it to be. Somewhere that I could vent my daily problems to, while also taking myself on this incredible journey. I am still very much on that journey, it's just become more of a struggle than I thought it would be.

I am doing my best to play this big balancing act. I am doing my best to also keep sane through all of this. So I hope that you all can bear with me, and see that this is a journey for me. This is unlike any changes I have made in my life before and I am more than committed to it. Even if I say I quit some days, that means nothing, because I am more than committed. It's okay to slip every once in a while...but I ALWAYS get back up!!

Have a wonderful Friday everyone. I will try my best to stay more upbeat from here on out!!!

Day 148

Good Evening everyone!!! I'm trying my best to keep my mind set positive and a good outlook on life. I am unfortunately so tired today. I haven't been sleeping well, so we will see how tonight goes, since I am exhausted. I have been so busy today, packing and preparing for our trip to Disney World. It is incredible how much stuff you think you need! And don't even realize it!

I am supposed to be up early tonight, so I should be able to write a little longer. It seems like time is going by so quickly these days, so I am just trying to make the best of it all. I know that we are almost done with this year, but I really want to go back on 2013 and realize all the things I am thankful for.

So while I close out this short post tonight, I want you all to remember what you are thankful for this past year! I hope you come up with some good things, and I would love to see them!! Have a wonderful evening everyone!!

Day 145

Good Morning everyone!! I woke up with a bit of a better attitude today. I am trying my best to think optimistically. I have a lot going on before Disney, and as my sister has put it so simply, I just need to make some lists and go through them! That will help organize and attack what I need to get done!!! Sometimes I find that lists help me more than anything else. Maybe that's how I should attack everything in life?? With lists!

I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday weekend. It brought on a lot of thoughts of family and holidays. I am so thankful that I was able to spend it with Hayden and Alayna and even made a couple new friends. But it truly felt like things were missing. We are so blessed that we live this life rather independently, and are lucky to do that. I love my family and I truly have the best one around, so I know that no matter how near or far we are from each other, we love each other and can feel that from any distance!!! So maybe if I just keep an attitude like that for the holidays, that will help!

Now, Christmas is literally right around the corner and I am getting ready for that as well. Last night Hayden and I talked about my gym schedule! It's been a little much with all this holiday planning, so I am trying my best to do as much at home, as well as being able to go to the gym a couple days a week. SO right now, that is the game plan! Do as much as possible so the holidays will be as awesome as possible!!

Alright, today was a bit rambly! I know it was shorter than I promised, but I only have a little bit of time left with Alayna and I want to enjoy it! I hope you all have a great day!!!

Day 143

Good Evening everyone!!! I'm sorry I am so late again tonight! I got home late again, after a long day at work. I am so so so so tired......these long days are killing me. I mean, I have completely lost track of time! I mean, I didn't even realize that today was Saturday and that I hadn't weighed in yesterday. (which was probably good because of the holiday!) But I just lost my days...I need a day off!

I hope you all had an incredible holiday and a wonderful Friday. I know I didn't write much, and I said I would write more today, but I am just so beat. I am here for a good part of the morning tomorrow, so I should be able to write a lot more then. I just can't seem to keep up with all of this! These 12/13 hour days are too much. I had intended on going in today at 1:30, but had to go in at 10 instead, and it just threw my whole day off. You know how you start a day off bad, and everything else seems to follow??? That's how today has gone.

SO I will talk a little more about it tomorrow, all the stress of the day/weekend, but I have more time then! Have a great night everyone!

Day 141

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!!!!!!! Today all my post is going to consist of, what I am thankful for!!

I first and fore most am thankful for my family. I wouldn't be an ounce of the person I am with out them. My father and mother have taught me so much. They are truly the most incredible parents a girl could ask for! They have supported me through everything I have decided to do with my life. They have been so incredible and loving I couldn't imagine my life being any other way.

Second I am thankful for my sister and her family. Lauren and I didn't always get along, actually we fought all the time as children. But now I couldn't ask for a better friend. She is my best friend really. We can laugh, cry, and grow from each other. I am so lucky for that. I hope to some day be just an ounce of the mother and wife she is, and I will be okay.

Third, I am so thankful for my daughter and husband. I am blessed that I get to call them mine every day. I get to watch my little girl grow up every day into a sophisticated little lady. I get to watch Hayden be the most incredible father in the entire world. I have never seen someone love their child like he does.

Fourth, I am thankful for our Army family both near and far. We have been blessed enough to spend holidays with them, when family is not near. Each year we have had people to support us and help us through the tough times so we are not alone! I couldn't ask for a better network of people, friends, and family.

And last of all, (obviously I'm thankful for so much more, but not much more room) I am thankful for my friends. I am so lucky to have the friends that I have in my life. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the support I have from them.

No matter what happens in my life, sometimes it is good to say thank you to the people I love the most. I am so thankful to have you all in my life. I am just feeling so so blessed and no matter what, however sad I am, I am happy and thankful for the life I am living. From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving. I hope it is full of love and joy!!! And family!!!!

Day 139

Alright everyone.....I owe you a nice long post. A post with promise and hope....but tonight....I want to write about a comfy bed. And a fluffy pillow and blanket. Today was way longer than I had intended. Well, I guess it really went the normal length, but it felt so much longer.

I have so many things I want to say today about the day, but don't know how to put them into words. I never thought I would be lost for words, but I am. I don't know how to say what I need to say with out being angry or upset. So I think it is best if I just keep it to myself. I am going to use that frustration at the gym tonight. I am not going for long, but enough to relax myself and de-stress.

I wish I could write you more. I wish I could put into words what I need to say to all of you tonight, but I am at a loss. I am just too upset. I know I keep saying that, but it's how I feel. I will write more tomorrow. Hopefully I will be a little more of sound mind then!

Enjoy your evenings everyone!

Day 137

Happy Sunday Everyone. I have decided that the reason I am losing readers is because I'm not talking about fitness. Remember when that's what this blog was all about??? So that's what it's going to focus on from here on out. I figured out that what really sparked my reason I essentially have given up is because when I got hurt, I thought "why bother?". But NO MORE!

I started this journey because I was so unhappy with myself that I couldn't bear the thought of living life like this forever. And I SWEAR I WON'T!!!! So I have got to step up the game. Now...I know what you are thinking, "Bethany, you say this every day and nothing changes". That's just it. I give up on myself every time I start this journey and just fall back into habits....but at least this time I haven't completely given up on myself. So I just want you all to know I am trying. Life has gotten in my way ever so slightly, but I am working through it.

It is back to clean eating (right before the holidays....I know it's risky), but I KNOW I can do it! I will work as hard as I need to to make sure that I keep on track with this journey. I don't expect the changes to come over night, and it will be a struggle, but with your support, and my families support, and my friends....I will get through this. I refuse to let in and let this win. I am stronger than that. Food will not beat me!!!!

Have a wonderful Sunday night everyone. I hope you all jump back on my wagon with me and keep reading. I know there is a lot of fight left in me! So stick around for the ride!!!

Day 135 - Weigh In

Where do I even start to write this post. I have been dreading it since I woke up this morning, because I knew when I got on that scale today, it wasn't going to be good. I gained .9 pounds this week. There is no one that could more disappointed than me. However, I knew this was coming. I don't think I have been as honest with myself or you guys as I really should be. I am stressed and the thing I do best when I am stressed....is the thing I should NOT be doing. I can't even believe that I am sitting here writing this.....I know what I NEED to do, but for some reason I am just having a really hard time with it. I really need to refocus myself and figure out what I can do to get back on track. I am so upset with this week and it was quite the realization of how bad I really have been doing.

So this week needs to be a fresh start. Restart those initial two weeks to get back on track when I started. I don't know why I have been having such a hard time, but this is me taking the high road and admitting that I have failed. I have failed pretty miserably....So I have to do something about it. I'm not trying to be negative about this situation. I know that this happens in any journey, but I just thought this time would be different. I am so used to disappointing myself and everyone around me, and I'm right back to that point. I can't believe that I have done it again. So I need to figure out what makes this time different!

I had such high hopes for this trip, and now all that is rushing through my mind are all my initial fears going on this trip. This is not how I imagined going and looking when going. But I have to somehow make the most of it. I wanted to be in a different place in this journey and I am no where near that. Not that I want to blame anyone for my mistakes, or my faults, but this job has been rough to make it all work. And it seems like any time something changes, I make an excuse to quit. So no more. I am going to make this work....I don't know how, but now it is just about figuring it out!

So to close, I think what is weighing on me most, is I had a conversation with my Mom when I started this job. I told her no matter what I would keep doing everything I was doing, because I didn't want to change anything about this journey and I failed. I hate going back on something I thought I could do. And I know that she won't be upset, but I am so disappointed in myself. I know you all are going to say I am too tough on myself, and I am, but it's how I have to be if I want something to change. And I do. I am so upset with where I am, and I am just hoping that I can turn that into motivation. I made a promise to my mom and myself that I would keep going through it all, and I have let her and myself down. Time to make the change. Better late than never right?

You all have an excellent Friday....I have a lot of thinking and rearranging to do on mine!!!

Day 133

Good Morning Everyone!!! I hope you all are having a great morning! I am trying to keep positive. I also had a discovery last night.....no matter how much I try to focus on just me, like I talked about last night, I will always put others first, and that's okay. I don't know why, but it's just how I am. I try to switch it off, but I just can't, and that's not a bad thing! You know, when I was in school, I was the person other people came to with problems. People would let me know what was going on, and I was just a good ear, shoulder, or hug that they needed. I am okay with being that. So I will continue to focus on me, but I will make sure to have a balance. And I will ALSO make sure to go to someone if I feel the need to talk to someone!

So I also know I keep saying that I don't really have anyone here....wah wah wah...right? I hate feeling sorry for myself. And then I had a shocking realization, I do have people. They know who they are, and I am so thankful for their support. It truly does keep me going every day. I know that working, eating right, going to they gym, taking care of Alayna and Hayden, and keeping a house clean is not all that much work, but sometimes it gets to be a lot. And I am so lucky to have these people in my life. I guess I just thought it was time to give some credit, where credit is due, so to you guys, I say THANK YOU! I have been so lucky to find people here, not many, but enough to make my days so much better!!!

So I'm trying to think of what the point of this post was supposed to be....early mornings tend to mess with my brain a little bit! I guess what it really comes down to, is I don't think I can change who I am. I will always put others first. I got it from my grandmother. I guess it is why I care so much about what others have to say about me, because I work so hard to make everyone else happy. I know I shouldn't care, but I do.....So I will continue to care about others, I will thank everyone for what they do (too much usually), and I will try my very best to still keep a focus on me!!!

So I think this post was a little rambly, but I hope it got my point across. I am happy to help others, and I thought that would be what I needed to focus on to make myself more focused, but it isn't. I need to focus on doing everything! I need to just spread myself evenly across everything! So in closing, have a great Wednesday and I will talk to all of you tomorrow!!!!

Day 132

Hello Everyone!!! Today Alayna and I spent allllll day together! And it was wonderful. I have been feeling kind of stuck lately. Not sure why I am feeling this way, but I am. I guess it's just something I need to put on my list of things to figure out. I work hard to keep my sanity on a daily basis. I work hard to make sure that everyone and everything around me works the way it should. Sometimes it takes more than I have in me, but I do it. Maybe that is why I am feeling so stuck? I am spreading myself very thin. I am concentrating so much on what everyone else needs to be happy, that I have lost focus on what makes me happy. I have lost focus on Bethany. Bethany needs things to be happy too.

I used to do things for me. But now I feel like I am so focused on everyone else's feelings that I have forgotten what this whole thing started out as!! It started out as a journey to find me. A journey to figure out what made me so unhappy and how I could change that. When did that journey turn in to something else? I have no idea how I got to be like this. How I began thinking more about others than what was important to me?

Now I don't say all of this to say I will stop caring about others, because I will NEVER stop doing that. But I am saying I have to focus on me too. I am so busy and caught up helping others that I have left myself in the dust. I feel like a little kid stuck in the clothes rack at JCPenney's....lost and left behind. So this next week...I am focusing on ME! I am focusing on why I started this and how I can get out of this rut!

I hope you all have a nice evening!!!

Day 128 - Weigh In

FINALLY!!!!!!! I finally saw the scale go down this week!!!!! I couldn't be happier about what I saw today. I am down 2.3 pounds for a total of 38.8 pounds GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was terrified to jump on the scale today, but turns out, it wasn't so scary!! I know this week has been crazy, and I am still feeling all the feelings I was feeling yesterday, but I feel better knowing that something is improving!!!

I sat down last night, and prayed about all my stress and worrying. I prayed for some peace of mind. I think right now, that is my biggest down fall, is that I worry too much. I stress out too easy. And most of all I think too deeply into things. I need to have some peace of mind with these things in life. God would not hand me anything I can not handle, and I have to hold true to that. If I don't, what else do I have??

I have been through a lot in life, and I tend to continue to let things weigh on me, far longer than they need to. I worry more than any other person I know, and I stress out easier than any other person I know. It's just how I have always been. How do I change that about myself? I know I get it from my grandmother, and I get wonderful things from her as well, but these are the two things I wish and try to change about myself, but am simply unable to. I have tried numerous things, and I still tend to come up short. So I guess for now I just keep trying. Like every other journey in my life I need to take time to do it. I have so much going on and I need to organize all my quirks I guess.

They make me who I am, but sometimes, they make me hate myself. They cause trouble at times. Sometimes, I need to just let go, and let God.....and I don't. I hold on and try to handle it all myself, and it NEVER works!!! So I guess as happy as I am today, I am still burdened (and pretty scatter brained too!). I hate feeling so much weight on my shoulders and still do nothing about it

So I am going to try to handle today one moment at a time, take time to celebrate the little things, and not stress or worry too much about the other things. Realize that they are out of my hands, and whatever happens, happens. No matter what I always stay true to myself....it makes me a stronger person.

I hope you all have an incredible Friday...enjoy the little things and don't worry about the big things!!!

Day 127

Good Morning-ish everyone. I have done a whole bunch of typing today, but for some reason I feel like typing some more. To fore warn, today's post is going to be pretty....I guess whiney is the word....but just having a bad couple days.

I love my job, I love my husband, I love my daughter, and I truly realize how blessed I am every day to be where I am. But there is one thing I don't like......and that is to be lied to. I have always been very perceptive and I know when things are not what they seem. So to not go into detail, I know something is going on, and that I am being lied to, and I DON'T LIKE IT....it is bringing me down and causing me to trip (metaphorically). I hate this feeling...so much!!! So I know I am being whiney-ish, but I just feel uneasy today. I hate it.

So on a some what good note, I am finally getting my eyes checked, after 3 years of wearing long past due glasses and contacts that are torn....I am going to get new contacts and glasses!!!! Finally!!!!! It has been hard to work out because I have had to wear my glasses, which are old prescriptions, which gives me a headache, which makes me sick when I work out!!! It's this spiraling cycle that makes life hard. If you have never had bad vision, it is hard to understand, but for all of you that do, wearing glasses that are not the correct prescription makes life in general more difficult. I struggle every day to see things, and I am finally doing something about it!!! I really need to get new glasses and some new, more comfortable contacts. SO I will update you all tomorrow on what he as to say, I'm sure he will be upset that I wore the same contacts for so long. So we will see!!

I am hopefully going to get a trial set that I can wear and be able to work out comfortably. I hate not being able to see every day, and having migraine after migraine, just from struggling to see!!!

I wanted to write one more thing today...I can see how may people read every day, and I am down to the single digits. I know my posts have been nothing to write home about lately, but I am trying! I am trying to write more deep posts, but at 9 pm, after a long day of work, it is hard to find motivation...you know? So I hope that I can win some of you back over...I promise to write a little heartier entries! I also promise that things will get better with me, and less wah wah wah!!! I can't wait to get to Disney, but I have a lot to do until then. I have not lost anything in far too long, and why would anyone want to read about a journey of someone who has basically given up. So that stops now! I promise!!!!! I hope you all continue to read and have full faith that this is just the beginning!!!

Day 125

Good Evening all!!!! I am keeping it really short today. A lot happened at work today that makes me sad, and angry, and frustrated, and a whole array of feelings that I don't want to attack today! So I am keeping them in for another day. I hope you all had an incredible day today and that you remember to keep your heads up in the best of situations.

Remember that of all the hats we wear, some are more important than others...please keep that in mind. I can't stress that enough to all of you. I wear a lot of hats.....Mother, Daughter, Sister, Wife, Friend, Boss, Co-Worker, Photographer, Salesperson.....and so much more...but remember the ones that count the most!!

That is all I have to preach to you tonight. Just had a rough day and ready to get into bed!! Have a great sleep tonight everyone!!

Day 123

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! I will be very honest with all of you....I forgot to even think about writing today!! I was so caught up with work, and then when I got home....I wanted nothing more than to relax with Hayden and Alayna. I know that my commitment is still here, but I just wanted to spend the day with them, uninterrupted.

This next few weeks is going to be very very busy. I have to work on training a new hire, and making sure that my team is ready for the holidays. I also have to make sure that I am all ready to go for this Disney trip, so the posts will be just as frequent, but maybe a little shorter....and more scatter brained. But I WILL make it work!!!

I know some times I can get a bit distracted, but I promise I am still here. I promise I am still totally present and ready to do what comes at me. And I will try my very best to communicate that to all of you. So I know most of you won't get this until the morning, but I will write again tomorrow. A little more in detail, I promise!!!! Have a wonderful sleep tonight everyone!!

Day 122

I will be honest with all of you, I am tired. So I think I am keeping today short and sweet!

I hope you all had an awesome Saturday!!! I spent it partially at work and partially at home, so it could have been better! I had to get up early and head to work for something that never even happened, and then I went home and I cuddled up with Hayden and Alayna all day watching movies and playing games!

So I guess all in all it was an awesome day. I needed some time with Hayden and Alayna, so I did get that....and am continuing now, and must return to them!!!

Enjoy what is left of your evenings and I will catch all you crazy kids tomorrow!!!

Day 121 - Weigh In

Good Morning Everyone!!! I know I said I wasn't going to do well at the weigh in, and boy was I right. I didn't gain, but I for a split second thought I did. I am right where I was last week, and that is my own doing!! I didn't eat like I should be these last few weeks. But from here on out, I REFUSE to get back off this horse. I want to make sure I am ready for Disney, and LIFE!!! I did go back to the gym last night, and I felt awesome after I was done. Granted I am exhausted this morning, I know that I can make it work. I still am happy with the amount of weight I have lost, but I am just ready to get back to how I was losing. So that means eating right and working out, NO EXCUSES.


Sometimes we have to take a look at why we do things again (and again), which I have done quite a few times! I am doing this for myself and Alayna long term, but for short term, it was always Disney, so I WILL BE READY!!!! I have 30 days left to make it work, and I can promise you all that I will. I will really kick it into gear and be ready for fun and ride riding when I get down there! I am excited and motivated now more than ever. I don't know what has changed, but I am ready to take it all on. I mean in the grand scheme of things, what is one hour a night???

SO I hope you enjoy your Friday!! I am certainly going to enjoy mine!! I am motivated and taking it one step and one day at a time. That's what it really takes.....taking smaller steps will make it easier to tackle all of this!! So enjoy your Fridays and take things one step at a time!!

Day 120

Hello Everyone!!! I hope you all are having an incredible morning! I woke up this morning with a new out look. My dad sent me this message yesterday that was so full of impact for me!!

"Life is a pilgrimage, but sometimes you need pilgrimage to discover life."

That couldn't be more true! I think sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget to really experience and figure it out. So I really need to hone in and figure out what is important. I only have so many days left before I go to Disney World, and not like I am stopping then, but I need to really kick it into gear. So I need to really focus on what is important right now.

I know I keep saying that, and then doing nothing, but I REALLY mean it this time. I don't know what has been my problem lately, and why I have been so lazy, but I just want to get back into my routines. I know it is about getting into a routine, but I am just really struggling with it. It is so hard to work, long days at that, and to come home and cook, and then to work out too??? It gets to be a lot. So I guess it is about just sucking it up, and figuring it out. So now I WILL figure it out.

To give you all a little snapshot of my days:

6:00 am - Get up, get me ready, get Alayna ready, and Miss J. comes.

7:30 am - Head to work for the day, and run around ALL day until around 6:00/7:00.

7:00 pm - Make and eat dinner

8:30 pm - Watch a little bit of TV with Hayden and Alayna and work on anything I need to finalize for work.

9:00 pm - BED!!!!!

So I guess what it really comes down to, is that at 9:00....I need to go to the gym and then go to bed after that. It will just be about sucking it up and getting there. So I promise....starting today...my butt is GOING TO THE GYM!!!!!!

I hope you all hold me accountable here! I better get a slurry of messages telling me to get to the gym!!!! I hope you all have a great day, and I will write tomorrow...for weigh in day. (Which I KNOW will not be a good one). Until tomorrow!