Happy Wednesday all!
I decided last night to take a break from the gym. After lots of back and forth's, and input from others, I came to the conclusion that maybe it was best for me to take a day off. I haven't been feeling well lately so it felt good to just relax. But today I am going to kick it in to gear at the gym!
I have been working out in a lot of different ways lately. I think I am going to finally try and venture into the studio tonight. They have all of the equipment that I really want to be working out with. The stability ball, the free weights, the bars, and those weird looking half stability balls for balancing on. I have never used a lot of them, but I have seen them used and they seem to give a good sweat. I know I am going to have to get into some routine when it comes to cardio, arms, legs, and others...but I don't know how to do that correctly. Any advice anyone?
I came to the conclusion that the bike....is not for me...Until I can get this behind smaller...biking is NOT for me. I don't know people do that. It hurts. I mean it hurts for days following. So to all you bikers....God bless, because I am just not there yet. I even thought maybe I should do the one that has the bigger seat and you are sitting back in, but I just don't get that burn that I get with the others. So I will stick to running/walking intervals on the Treadmill and work on what else to do in the gym weight wise. I wish I knew my way around better. I'm like a lost duckling in a huge sea of turtles....I just have no idea what I'm doing. Two days ago someone asked me how to use a piece of equipment...and I'm pretty sure I just stood there looking really confused and started looking at the machine like it was something out of the future. Not my proudest moment. Although, I did like the fact that the guy thought I looked like I knew what I was doing! In the end we figured out how the machine worked...good team work! But that just goes to show I need to learn more. I usually just watch all the big dudes at the gym...see how they do it, and then follow in their footsteps. Sometimes it works...sometimes I forget to change the weight so I almost pop my arms out like Spongebob. BUT...I'm getting there. And that is what matters!
I didn't get to writing recipes last night since I didn't feel well, so today I will make sure to do that!!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Day 20
Day 20??? It can't be!!!
I keep looking in the mirror and thinking "nothing has changed", but I know that I have. I feel my shirts and pants fit differently. I can feel my watch getting bigger each time I put it on, and needing to tighten it. I can feel my wedding rings slipping around more than usual. So I have to stop looking in the mirror and hoping that I'm looking skinny. Because that is so absurdly ridiculous! My sister sent me a little picture message the other day that said "It takes four weeks for you to start seeing a difference, eight weeks for your family and friends to start seeing a difference, and 12 weeks for the world to start seeing a difference, so give it 12 weeks, and don't quit" And I have no intentions of.
Yesterday for a split second I was really down and just wanted to eat a Ho Ho....and I really thought about how bad it would REALLY be for me. I was down, and I wanted chocolate to pull me out of it. I didn't want to go to the gym either. I wanted to hang out with Alayna and Hayden and not leave for two hours away from them. I then paused.....and thought about a biiiiiig steak. With a big mashed potato side and cheesy broccoli. And I started to get a little sick. I wasn't hungry....I was sad, and my body was getting those two confused. I have learned that when you are hungry and craving something, think of a HUGE meal that is really filling. If the thought of it makes your stomach hurt, you aren't hungry. Your brain is just playing tricks on you! So I stopped thinking about the Ho Ho and got ready for the gym, and ran all the negative feelings away.
I did a sprint yesterday at 8.0 MPH.......I couldn't even believe it!! I know it doesn't sound like much, but 8.0 is a lot for me!!!! I was so happy when I got home. I also leg pressed 380 lbs, which made me feel amazing too!!! I love that feeling I get after working out. I just have to keep that feeling in my head when I want to give up, and know that it feels great when I succeed!!
Hope you all have an excellent Tuesday!! I'm working on this weeks meals tonight, so I will keep you all in the loop on the recipes!
I keep looking in the mirror and thinking "nothing has changed", but I know that I have. I feel my shirts and pants fit differently. I can feel my watch getting bigger each time I put it on, and needing to tighten it. I can feel my wedding rings slipping around more than usual. So I have to stop looking in the mirror and hoping that I'm looking skinny. Because that is so absurdly ridiculous! My sister sent me a little picture message the other day that said "It takes four weeks for you to start seeing a difference, eight weeks for your family and friends to start seeing a difference, and 12 weeks for the world to start seeing a difference, so give it 12 weeks, and don't quit" And I have no intentions of.
Yesterday for a split second I was really down and just wanted to eat a Ho Ho....and I really thought about how bad it would REALLY be for me. I was down, and I wanted chocolate to pull me out of it. I didn't want to go to the gym either. I wanted to hang out with Alayna and Hayden and not leave for two hours away from them. I then paused.....and thought about a biiiiiig steak. With a big mashed potato side and cheesy broccoli. And I started to get a little sick. I wasn't hungry....I was sad, and my body was getting those two confused. I have learned that when you are hungry and craving something, think of a HUGE meal that is really filling. If the thought of it makes your stomach hurt, you aren't hungry. Your brain is just playing tricks on you! So I stopped thinking about the Ho Ho and got ready for the gym, and ran all the negative feelings away.
I did a sprint yesterday at 8.0 MPH.......I couldn't even believe it!! I know it doesn't sound like much, but 8.0 is a lot for me!!!! I was so happy when I got home. I also leg pressed 380 lbs, which made me feel amazing too!!! I love that feeling I get after working out. I just have to keep that feeling in my head when I want to give up, and know that it feels great when I succeed!!
Hope you all have an excellent Tuesday!! I'm working on this weeks meals tonight, so I will keep you all in the loop on the recipes!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Day 19
Good Morning all! Happy Monday!!!
I have been trying really hard these last couple days to keep calm and relaxed. Stress, as I'm sure you know, can hinder weight loss. And believe me, I have been under an incredible amount. I try so hard to keep calm, because for once in my life I'm thinking about me first, but that is hard. I feel so much pressure from everyone and now from myself that I am finding it difficult to keep calm and (cliche-ly enough) carry on. Everything that I am stressing about is out of my hands and really just needs to be prayed and thought over. So maybe that is what I should just buck up and do. Maybe it will help me de-stress a little. I'm doing everything I can possibly do to eliminate the stress, and that's the best I can do right?
So with all that stress, it has been difficult to focus on not eating. I am an emotional eater. I always have been. Even when I was in school, if I got upset over someone making fun of me because I was overweight, I ate. How does that even make sense? You would think that if other kids were making fun of me, I would want to stop and make the change. But for some reason, my head didn't want to do that. My head wanted to just eat more to numb the pain of other peoples crude opinions. I tried different things through high school. I ate differently, I played a TON of volleyball, and I actually kept pretty active. But it didn't stop the food from going in my mouth. I have no one to blame but myself for the way that I am, but I can blame it on the stress of high school. The stress of being a teenager that is overweight. Stress has always been a trigger for me to just eat to make myself feel better.
That has been one of the hardest things to try and change. Stress eating. I know that it isn't the solution to my problems. And my stress isn't just going to disappear because I am eating a fried, cheesy, calorie packed death trap. I am getting better or at least trying to get better about thinking like that. Hopefully this feeling is only temporary and I can shake this feeling quickly. It can't possibly be permanent to be this stressed or nervous about things! And eating is DEFINITELY not the solution!!
On a side note.....today I put on an outfit that I really don't like much. It's tighter pants and a tighter shirt. I don't like it because I feel like it makes me look like the Michelin man. BUT, I looked in the mirror after I put it on, and I actually felt good. I felt like I looked really cute and less puffy than usual! So hopefully this is the start of many happy feelings! Have an awesome Monday everyone!
I have been trying really hard these last couple days to keep calm and relaxed. Stress, as I'm sure you know, can hinder weight loss. And believe me, I have been under an incredible amount. I try so hard to keep calm, because for once in my life I'm thinking about me first, but that is hard. I feel so much pressure from everyone and now from myself that I am finding it difficult to keep calm and (cliche-ly enough) carry on. Everything that I am stressing about is out of my hands and really just needs to be prayed and thought over. So maybe that is what I should just buck up and do. Maybe it will help me de-stress a little. I'm doing everything I can possibly do to eliminate the stress, and that's the best I can do right?
So with all that stress, it has been difficult to focus on not eating. I am an emotional eater. I always have been. Even when I was in school, if I got upset over someone making fun of me because I was overweight, I ate. How does that even make sense? You would think that if other kids were making fun of me, I would want to stop and make the change. But for some reason, my head didn't want to do that. My head wanted to just eat more to numb the pain of other peoples crude opinions. I tried different things through high school. I ate differently, I played a TON of volleyball, and I actually kept pretty active. But it didn't stop the food from going in my mouth. I have no one to blame but myself for the way that I am, but I can blame it on the stress of high school. The stress of being a teenager that is overweight. Stress has always been a trigger for me to just eat to make myself feel better.
That has been one of the hardest things to try and change. Stress eating. I know that it isn't the solution to my problems. And my stress isn't just going to disappear because I am eating a fried, cheesy, calorie packed death trap. I am getting better or at least trying to get better about thinking like that. Hopefully this feeling is only temporary and I can shake this feeling quickly. It can't possibly be permanent to be this stressed or nervous about things! And eating is DEFINITELY not the solution!!
On a side note.....today I put on an outfit that I really don't like much. It's tighter pants and a tighter shirt. I don't like it because I feel like it makes me look like the Michelin man. BUT, I looked in the mirror after I put it on, and I actually felt good. I felt like I looked really cute and less puffy than usual! So hopefully this is the start of many happy feelings! Have an awesome Monday everyone!
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Day 18
I can't believe it is Sunday already. This weekend went by so fast!!
I think back to what a normal Saturday night used to be. Sitting around, eating pizza, and having a drink or two.
Now...my Saturday night is going to the gym until 10, coming home to eating an apple and some peanut butter for protein, and drinking water. It's amazing how much better I feel. I never would have thought that just two and a half weeks would make a difference in how I see things. I haven't eaten anything fried, greasy, or processed in quite some time. My body is so happy with me.
It has been really nice to cook such healthy foods, and have Alayna and Hayden enjoy them. I feel like sometimes when I would go on health kicks, Hayden would cook something different for himself because he didn't want to eat the veggies and healthy foods that I was eating. But now, he is just as into eating healthy as I am. It's been such a good support to have that. Maybe that's why it didn't work the other times. I felt like I was doing it myself. And this time, I'm not alone.
Alayna has been loving all of the vegetables we have been eating. And ever since I have been drinking only water, I can't get her to drink any juice at all anymore. Which is GREAT!! She no longer is weighed down by all that artificial sweetener. Now I know that they still eat things they aren't supposed to...for example...last night Hayden and Alayna had milkshakes. And I didn't even want one. It smelled so sweet and sugary. And I actually got a little sick to my stomach smelling it. But as long as they enjoyed it, that's what's important!!
I'm so happy with all the progress that is being made. It has made me realize that even if the pounds aren't always going down....I'm still making a change for the better.
On my last note, I was thinking of putting up some of my daily foods (for all of you that don't follow me on My Fitness Pal). Maybe some recipes that I have been making for dinner? Would anyone be interested in that?
Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!!
I think back to what a normal Saturday night used to be. Sitting around, eating pizza, and having a drink or two.
Now...my Saturday night is going to the gym until 10, coming home to eating an apple and some peanut butter for protein, and drinking water. It's amazing how much better I feel. I never would have thought that just two and a half weeks would make a difference in how I see things. I haven't eaten anything fried, greasy, or processed in quite some time. My body is so happy with me.
It has been really nice to cook such healthy foods, and have Alayna and Hayden enjoy them. I feel like sometimes when I would go on health kicks, Hayden would cook something different for himself because he didn't want to eat the veggies and healthy foods that I was eating. But now, he is just as into eating healthy as I am. It's been such a good support to have that. Maybe that's why it didn't work the other times. I felt like I was doing it myself. And this time, I'm not alone.
Alayna has been loving all of the vegetables we have been eating. And ever since I have been drinking only water, I can't get her to drink any juice at all anymore. Which is GREAT!! She no longer is weighed down by all that artificial sweetener. Now I know that they still eat things they aren't supposed to...for example...last night Hayden and Alayna had milkshakes. And I didn't even want one. It smelled so sweet and sugary. And I actually got a little sick to my stomach smelling it. But as long as they enjoyed it, that's what's important!!
I'm so happy with all the progress that is being made. It has made me realize that even if the pounds aren't always going down....I'm still making a change for the better.
On my last note, I was thinking of putting up some of my daily foods (for all of you that don't follow me on My Fitness Pal). Maybe some recipes that I have been making for dinner? Would anyone be interested in that?
Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Day 17
Happy Saturday Everyone!!!
All that is on our schedule is to watch some movies, clean, and have a nice relaxing day. I did a lot of weight training last night, so my body feels like jello today. But in a really good, blueberry jello kind of jello! There is something so satisfying about working out and feeling like your whole body is about to fall apart. It feels good! I really pushed myself yesterday and I think it was part frustration, anger, and motivation.
I have been working really hard and am finally starting to feel the difference. I feel stronger. I can feel that gym high that people talk about. I am always so happy when I get home from the gym. I have been staying at the gym longer and longer because I just don't want to leave and lose that amazing feeling I get.
I will admit that yesterday was a bad day. I beat myself up all day and kept asking, "Am I doing the right thing". But yesterday at the gym solidified every small positive feeling I was having. I absolutely am at the correct place in my life. You know there is an old wives tail that says Deja Vu is just your life's way of telling you that you, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. And last night, at the gym, I had this strange feeling of Deja Vu. And it hit me like a ton of bricks...I am exactly where I need to be!
SO...what I am really saying...is I'm feeling great!! And I am right where I need to be in my life. I know there will be a lot of doubts along this journey. And I know that I will get angry and frustrated through this, but it is how I handle this that makes the difference between being weak and being strong.
I owe a huge thank you to all of you. Yesterday was tough for me, but all of you made a difference!! So thank you <3
Have a great weekend!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Day 16 - Weigh In
Well today was that dreaded day. And it was everything I knew it was going to be this week. I've lost nothing. I hopped on that scale this morning and saw the same number that was there last Friday. I can't say it doesn't hurt....because it absolutely does. I worked really hard this week through pain and blisters. And I ate exactly what I needed to be eating.
It's when things like this happen that I just want to stop. Old me would have thought, "What's the use? If all this hard work isn't going to pay off anyway, why even keep going?" But I just can't hold on to an attitude like that. I knew that the number I got last week was crazy hight, but I really thought I would have lost something in the last week.
I know I have so much to be proud of. I have done things this past week that I didn't know I was capable of. I finally started to do a little weight lifting last night, as terrified as I was. I am running for longer periods of time. I am sprinting at higher speeds. I am finally starting to not crave some of my favorite foods. With all of these things, I can't help but not be that upset about being the same weight as last week. So no matter what, I will keep my head held high, because I worked hard and I will see it pay off soon.
I feel like I have let you all down, but know that I will work twice as hard this week to prove it to myself and all of you. Next week will get better!! I just know it!!
Hope you all have an excellent Friday!
It's when things like this happen that I just want to stop. Old me would have thought, "What's the use? If all this hard work isn't going to pay off anyway, why even keep going?" But I just can't hold on to an attitude like that. I knew that the number I got last week was crazy hight, but I really thought I would have lost something in the last week.
I know I have so much to be proud of. I have done things this past week that I didn't know I was capable of. I finally started to do a little weight lifting last night, as terrified as I was. I am running for longer periods of time. I am sprinting at higher speeds. I am finally starting to not crave some of my favorite foods. With all of these things, I can't help but not be that upset about being the same weight as last week. So no matter what, I will keep my head held high, because I worked hard and I will see it pay off soon.
I feel like I have let you all down, but know that I will work twice as hard this week to prove it to myself and all of you. Next week will get better!! I just know it!!
Hope you all have an excellent Friday!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Day 15
Well, I know I'm late today. I was lacking all motivation to write today. I'm not even sure if too many of you read this, but for the few that do, I will make sure to push through even bad days for you!
Tomorrow is weigh in, and I am so nervous. I will be happy with anything as long as I don't gain anything. I am making all the right decisions so I just hope the hard work has paid off.
Last night I was really disappointed in myself. I went for my nightly visit to the gym, and all of a sudden I felt this really sharp pain in my right knee. It felt like my knee cap was just floating around my leg. I pushed through until I had finished my walk, but I didn't push through enough to run. I know that it wasn't anything terrible, but I still feel like I quit on myself by just walking. Hayden told me I should take a day off, and of course I don't want to listen. I still plan on going to the gym tonight, but I guess I will just make it about distance tonight and not speed.
I hate that I am my worst critic through all of this. I should be happy and proud of all the hard work I have done. I have made it further than I ever thought possible. I ALWAYS stop at the two week point and say that I'm happy with how I am. But today is two weeks and one day, further than I ever thought possible. And I made it!!! So if there is anything to be proud of, I can be proud of that. After all, I'm not doing this to lose everything quickly and run a marathon tomorrow. It's work, I have to give it time to pay off. I should just be happy that I decided to make the change right?
SOOO...now that my childish rant is over. I know that no matter what number comes up tomorrow, I will be proud. Because no matter what, my life is different than it was two weeks ago. And that is the real reward.
Tomorrow is weigh in, and I am so nervous. I will be happy with anything as long as I don't gain anything. I am making all the right decisions so I just hope the hard work has paid off.
Last night I was really disappointed in myself. I went for my nightly visit to the gym, and all of a sudden I felt this really sharp pain in my right knee. It felt like my knee cap was just floating around my leg. I pushed through until I had finished my walk, but I didn't push through enough to run. I know that it wasn't anything terrible, but I still feel like I quit on myself by just walking. Hayden told me I should take a day off, and of course I don't want to listen. I still plan on going to the gym tonight, but I guess I will just make it about distance tonight and not speed.
I hate that I am my worst critic through all of this. I should be happy and proud of all the hard work I have done. I have made it further than I ever thought possible. I ALWAYS stop at the two week point and say that I'm happy with how I am. But today is two weeks and one day, further than I ever thought possible. And I made it!!! So if there is anything to be proud of, I can be proud of that. After all, I'm not doing this to lose everything quickly and run a marathon tomorrow. It's work, I have to give it time to pay off. I should just be happy that I decided to make the change right?
SOOO...now that my childish rant is over. I know that no matter what number comes up tomorrow, I will be proud. Because no matter what, my life is different than it was two weeks ago. And that is the real reward.
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