Day 163

Good Evening everyone! I had a nice long day today and I am so tired. I didn't think that I would have trouble waking up this morning after getting home late, but boy was I wrong. I was so tired this morning because I could not seem to go to bed after the gym last night. I was so fired up that I wanted to just keep going, so when I came home, I wanted to just stay up!!

So back to this morning, I did get on the scale for the first time in a while. I reset my "MFP" and I am not happy with what I saw at all. But like I said, I am ready to make that number just rocket downwards! I know that I wasn't on my A game these last few months, but it is back to business. I am tired of letting myself and others down. I know that I can commit to this!! I am ready to start that initial 2 weeks that I hate so much....If I can get there, I can get back on track and start seeing the results I love so much!!!

So I hope that you all are back on board with me! I know that I was absent for some time, but I am here, and I am ready to start this journey back up again. I am not happy with myself, but I am letting it motivate me. I look in the mirror now and see potential! That's something that has taken me a very long time to come to terms with. It's not that I am demotivated by that person, but I strive to make her a better person. I love myself, and I never thought that possible. This journey is just about improving upon what is already there!!

Have a great Friday Night everyone! We are spending ours cuddled up watching movies and keeping the fire on since it's freezing!! Enjoy!!!

Day 121 - Weigh In

Good Morning Everyone!!! I know I said I wasn't going to do well at the weigh in, and boy was I right. I didn't gain, but I for a split second thought I did. I am right where I was last week, and that is my own doing!! I didn't eat like I should be these last few weeks. But from here on out, I REFUSE to get back off this horse. I want to make sure I am ready for Disney, and LIFE!!! I did go back to the gym last night, and I felt awesome after I was done. Granted I am exhausted this morning, I know that I can make it work. I still am happy with the amount of weight I have lost, but I am just ready to get back to how I was losing. So that means eating right and working out, NO EXCUSES.


Sometimes we have to take a look at why we do things again (and again), which I have done quite a few times! I am doing this for myself and Alayna long term, but for short term, it was always Disney, so I WILL BE READY!!!! I have 30 days left to make it work, and I can promise you all that I will. I will really kick it into gear and be ready for fun and ride riding when I get down there! I am excited and motivated now more than ever. I don't know what has changed, but I am ready to take it all on. I mean in the grand scheme of things, what is one hour a night???

SO I hope you enjoy your Friday!! I am certainly going to enjoy mine!! I am motivated and taking it one step and one day at a time. That's what it really takes.....taking smaller steps will make it easier to tackle all of this!! So enjoy your Fridays and take things one step at a time!!

Day 119

Good Morning Everyone!!!!!! I woke up nice and early to make sure that I could get Alayna ready, get myself ready, and STILL have time to write. I know that I have been slacking on my blog a bit. And that I have been promising things that I have not held up. But I am working on it! I have decided that I NEED to get into a routine. It will be hard at first, but as soon as I can do that, I will be better off. After all, it is all about getting into a routine! And as long as I can knock this sense of feeling tired all the time, I can do it!!!

I have tried Chia seeds as energy, and I just don't seem to be getting enough energy from them. I am looking for redbull sized energy, and am not finding it naturally occurring in nature! So I am continuing my search!! I hope that I can figure this all out soon, because I am tired.....of being tired!!!

I have to get back that motivation I had a month ago. So I MUST work hard to get back to that person. I have only 32 days, 15 hours, and 42 minutes before our trip!!! So I HAVE to get my butt going, so that this trip is the best trip I could possibly make it!!!

So all those feelings I had when I started....the frustration of the first two weeks, the angry feeling I had when not seeing results....the irritation of not being able to eat the things I wanted.....I need to find those feelings again, because they gave me results!! So back to the basics everyone....Gotta hold myself accountable, no matter what!!!!

SO on that note, I am starting off my day right!!! Focusing on things that I REALLY REALLY want!!!!! What are you focusing on today??!

Day 113

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!!!!!

I am keeping it to just sentences today, we just finished trick or treating and I am BEAT!!! It was so nice to go out with friends to trick or treat! Alayna had a blast! Feel free to check my facebook for Alayna's pictures! She had so much fun with her friend Ja'shaun tonight! It was just too cute watching them trick or treat.

Now, I know tomorrow is weigh in day, but I know that I have not lost anything. I am sitting at the same thing I was at last night. This week got away from me!!! But I will still make sure to write nice and early in the morning!!

Have a good Halloween Everyone!!

Day 99

Alright I know I told everyone that I would write earlier after my appointment, but I got very caught up in hanging out with my parents. We did so much today! We did some shopping, went bowling, and then watched movies while we ate!! It was perfect!!!

As for the doctor's appointment, I'm all good and ready to go!!!! They said that if it was something, it seems to have gone away now. It may be tendonitis, but if it flares up again, just to take it easy!!! So I will be doing my walk this weekend, and I am back to full throttle at the gym!!!

As far as everything else, I am just ready to kick my life back into gear!!!! I have slacked a little the last few weeks and I'm ready to really get back on track now that I am cleared for the gym!!!

I am really sorry that it is short again today, but I will write a little more tomorrow when I weigh in tomorrow!!!! I'm a little nervous, but I am ready for it, because I have big things ahead of me!!!!!

Have a good night everyone!!!!

Day 97

Good Morning everyone!! I told you I was going to be up and at em this morning!!! I just wanted to let you all in on what was going on with me and this week!!!

On Thursday morning I have a doctors appointment with the ortho doctor. Hopefully I can figure out what is going on with my ankle. It seems to be feeling a little bit better, but all of a sudden this past week, it started hurting really bad. So I will just have to take it one step at a time and see what he thinks is going on.

My dad and I figured out which race we are going to do. It is a nice casual walk, so it should be easy on both of us!! It's the miracle mile, 3 mile race in Augusta. It's the Breast Cancer Awareness walk, and it should be a blast!! I love supporting a good cause, so it should be a good time for everyone!!

The other thing we were planning on doing this weekend was going pumpkin picking!!! Alayna is so excited to go pick pumpkins with Mema and Pappy!!! This years holidays are going to be so much different with her actually understanding, and getting excited about them! We have been talking up Santa for quite some time now, and she couldn't be more excited! So these holidays are DEFINITELY going to be different!!!!

Well, I know I didn't talk much about how my fitness life is going, but I am just so excited for this week/weekend!! I hope you all have a great day and enjoy yourselves!!!

Day 94

Hello Everyone!!! I hope you all are having a great Saturday with family!! We have been grocery shopping all day and we have been cleaning. It's been a VERY productive day. I am getting ready for my mom and dad to come, and I could NOT be any more excited!!!!

I am keeping it short because I have so much cleaning to do before our little get together tonight, but I just wanted to pop in and tell you all what I have been up to today. I have been in this absolutely amazing mood lately, that I can't seem to shake, which is a good thing!! I just want to take every day one step at a time and enjoy it. Everything that is happening to me, is happening for a reason, and I just need to enjoy it!!!

I will leave you with that. Enjoy your days and remember that every little thing that is happening in your life right now, is happening for a reason!!  Happy Saturday everyone!! Enjoy yourselves!!!

Day 92

Good morning everyone! SO I sat down last night and thought about what the top three things that were really important to me that were related to this journey. And this is what I came up with:

1. Being able to be around for Alayna. Being able to live a long live and being able to keep up with her. If I could have as much energy as she has, that would be incredible!! She is the most important thing in the world to me, and it is so important that I am here for her.

2. My health. I really don't have much extra to say than that. It is important that I treat my body as a temple. And this is the best way I know how. Eat right and exercise, that is what is important to me and to make sure that I make it to where I want to really be in my life.

3. Disney World.....I want....no NEED....to keep that in my forefront of my mind. I want to get the absolute most out of this trip, and being over weight and not being able to keep up with my family would be the worst thing for me. I want to go on every ride and not worry "do I have to sit in that special seating, and will I even fit in that???"

So that was what I came up with. Those are the things both short term and long term that are the most important to me. Losing weight is important to me, but it shouldn't be at the front of my mind all the time. I have a full time job, come home and take care of Alayna, and somehow have to work out as well. So I really need to focus on short term goals and not long term goals. I will admit that the biggest thing that got me down was not that I wasn't where I wanted to be, but looking back on notes I had taken when I started, I thought I could do it all and get the most incredible results quickly. That is simply unrealistic for me. I have too much going on to keep up the progress I had when I was not working. So I vow to not get as easily frustrated!! Or at least I will try!!

I will leave you all with that. It is almost time for me to go to work so I will talk to all you lovely people tomorrow!! Have a wonderful Thursday!!

Day 89

Good Evening everyone!! I can't apologize enough for yesterday! I was so tired and honestly I am again today. I can't believe how much I have been trying to catch up on the last couple days, that it is really wearing me out. I want to to keep it really short today and just talk a little bit about some goals I want to set tomorrow morning. I want to figure out some things that I really want to achieve before December, and I will post it tomorrow.

Any good goals you all think I should try to reach soon? I can't wait to hear them!

Have a wonderful evening everyone! I am heading to bed early again tonight!! Sleep well everyone!!!

Day 87

Good Evening everyone!! I had to work today, and I was unable to write this morning. I was too tired this morning to even function. After working a 13 hour day in prep of our birthday party weekend at work.....I had so much to do! But it was all worth it, because the place looked amazing!!

As far as what I want to talk about today...I want to talk about my dad. My dad is an incredible person. He is one of the most motivational and inspirational people I know. Anyone who knows me knows that I love my family more than anything, and when I talk about my mom and my dad I talk about them like they are my best friends. I am so lucky to have him in my life. It's not every day that people have a relationship like that with their dad, and I do! They are coming to visit us soon, and my dad asked if we could do a 5K together and I immediately was sooooooo excited! I can't think of anything that would make me more excited and happier than to walk with my dad in my first *post life style change* 5K. So that will be coming up shortly, but I have SO much going on that I need to start being more consistent to get ready for it!!

So that is all that is going on here. I will keep you all posted on race details and what we sign up for and all that fun stuff!!! Have a wonderful night with your families and be good everyone!!!

Day 86 - Weigh In

Good Morning everyone!!! Today was the day...and I am just going to say that I am satisfied. It's not that I'm overwhelmingly happy, but I am content with what popped up today! I promise next week is going to be bigger because I am stepping it up this next week!!!

So the scale was exactly 1 pound down today for a grand total of 33.7 pounds gone and never coming back!!!!!! I can't believe in just 86 days....33.7 pounds is no where to be found!!!! It is mind blowing. I mean...33.7.....that's a lot of weight. I have almost lost Alayna!!! Come to think of it....lifting her up....I can't believe that I used to carry that around with me....how did I do it??? Either way...I am happy to be rid of it!!!

SO I know what you are all going to say, a pound is a pound which is better than a gain!! Which I am totally agreeing with! However, I'm ready to see bigger numbers which is why this week is a no excuses week. I know I have been saying that, but I really mean it this time! I can not keep making excuses for why I can't get everything done. I just need to suck it up, and get it done!! I really wanted to be past a certain goal by now, and I am currently no where near it. SO it is time to step up the intensity a bit!

Lastly today....I'm going to shamelessly promote myself! I know that there are so many of you that read every day! And I couldn't be any more thankful to you all than I already am, but do any of you have friends, family, coworkers, or even just a gym you go to where people are struggling? Not sure if they can do it? Well send them over to my blog!!! I write in hopes of inspiring. I don't ever want anyone to feel how I feel. No child or adult should have to go through this! So please...I don't have anything to gain from it, other than inspiring people. Which is what I really want this blog to be. SO again...any one you know needing some extra motivation or who really likes to read, send em my way!!! We can ALL do this together!

SO I will leave you at that! I hope you all have a wonderful Friday!! Be inspired to make a change. You are a beautiful person...yes you!!! Get up and take your life back....you deserve it!!!

Day 82

Guys...I think I have gotten lazy again. And not in a way that I was before, but in a way that I really hate. I work so hard all day (I know...boo hoo me), that when I get home, I head straight for the couch. That's not how it should be! I mean look at other moms who work all day, come home and cook this incredible dinner, and then work out at night and still manage to look incredible?!? How do they do it??? I mean I'm lucky if I can get salad on the table for everyone let alone some incredible feast. I refuse to let this job defeat me, but it is starting to look exactly like that. I hate the idea of not being able to accomplish everything I set my mind to. I look at how I was doing before I was at work, and I had much more food temptation at home than when I am at work, but some how, I find it more difficult there. I know I am still doing well...and that this is a marathon and not a sprint (thank you special someone!).....but somehow I just want to start seeing those same results I was seeing before I got this job.

I know this all sounds so whiney, and like I can't handle it all, but I can. It is just about figuring out how to manage it all again. I have been feeling really up for the gym, other than the whole being tired thing. I use it as an excuse and continue to say, "I'll go tomorrow". But today is tomorrow...and I keep losing out on that "tomorrow" opportunity! When is enough, enough? So today I refuse to lose...I refuse to let anything take advantage of me. I will make positive decisions today and I will look forward to days to come. I will make it to my goal....one way or another!

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday! I am going to focus very hard on what I REALLY want...will you?

Day 71

Hello Everyone! Today is my day off, and I am enjoying my time with Alayna. Granted I spent about all morning at the doctors. I have an ortho consult in right now, and should hopefully be getting some answers soon.

I don't want to take up much time today, because I have the whole day with Alayna, and I don't want to waste it!!!

We went to Fort Gordon for the appointment, and luckily Hayden was able to meet me there. They said that unfortunately they are not able to read the MRI's like Ortho would be able to, so I have to wait until I meet with them until I find out what is going on. I am hoping that I can just get in there ASAP to get this all over with and back into the real swing of things!!

I am going to keep it just this short today. My attention span is lacking, and it may just be the full moon, but who knows....time for me to go relax with Alayna!!

Have a wonderful day everyone!!!

Day 69

Good morning everyone! You know it's going to be a good day when you hit snooze 4 times in a row....I can only imagine how today is going to go!! Last night I was talking to a friend and it really did make me look at my life in a whole new way.

When I moved to Virginia with Hayden, I was lucky enough to land an amazing job. I got to do something I love, learn new things, and work with some of the most incredible people that I have ever met to this day. I thought even living in Virginia was hard. I was far from family, I was far from friends, and people kept coming and going. But it was truly nothing compared to here. I still have yet to make any real friends that I have hung out with recreationally, and it was starting to take a toll on me. But then, I realized that I have been so blessed with an amazing daughter, incredible husband, and a wonderful job to occupy my time. So in reality I have a very small amount of free time, that is already being kept by my family. It is hard to be so far from everything you know, but I make the most of it! I love traveling, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I love the life we live and I am thankful that I was able to write like this to keep myself motivated.

I will admit the last weeks I haven't been doing the best. I have been slacking and giving excuses, but it was just a stumble. I am no longer going to make those excuses. I am going to stick to my guns and be ready for December! After all, I need to make the most out of the one vacation I have this year!

I hope you all have an incredible day today. I have to go out of town for a meeting all day, so I will be in the car most of the day. Stay on track today...it happens (tripping that is), but it's how you handle it that makes you who you are!

Day 68

Good Morning. I had a very early start to this Monday morning so I promised I would write! I unfortunately did not go to the gym yesterday evening because I realized I had to be up so early. So It didn't seem to make sense to keep myself exhausted today. So tonight I will be going since I am off early today! I am going to try the bike again. Especially since I have another doctors appointment Thursday.

It is nothing special, just going to try and get an Ortho referral. Hopefully they will look over the scans with me so I can at least see what is going on with the muscle. Which apparently is where the damage is. SO hopefully I am on my way to some answers this week!!

So I think these last couple weeks I have let my frustrations get the best of me, and this week I REFUSE to let that happen again. No matter what the numbers say, or what I am fitting in, I am making a change some how.

Alright, time to get the baby up and ready, and time for me to head out to work! I hope you all have a wonderful Monday and keep positive this week!!!

Day 67

Good morning, and happy Sunday to everyone! Hope you are all having a wonderful day and enjoying your time with your family. I have been blessed with two days off in a row with Hayden and Alayna. We are spending the day cleaning and watching movies and football together! It's nice to just be able to relax with each other.

After the day that we had yesterday, how happy I was, I have carried that out to today. I am having a wonderful day with my family and just trying to take advantage of it as much as possible. I am going to go to the gym tonight and then have a nice early day at work tomorrow morning. So we are going to relax all day together!

I don't want to take up too much of your time today because YOU TOO should be taking advantage of family time. I have realized through all of this that this is what is most important!!! Making the most of the time I have with them, and making sure I am around for them for as long as possible!!! That is what this is allll about! Being around for them and being able to take care of them as best I can.

Alright everyone, I am done! Have a wonderful day with your family and friends! And enjoy all the football you would like!

Day 61

Good Morning everyone! Day 61!!! Made it to month three! I can't believe I have been on this journey for this long already! I am truly speechless in this whole situation!! I have struggled a lot already, and I can't imagine what is still to come, but I couldn't have done it without this blog. For all of you that read this every day, I literally could not have done this without any of you!!!

If I had not started this blog, I can promise you that I would have given up already. I would have gone ahead and just given into my old ways and nothing would have changed. Granted I have hit some what of a roadblock lately with gym activities, I have still been making progress.

Sometimes I take a look at this one picture I have of me, and think what happened? Why was I so unhappy that I let it get to that. I mean eating just because I was sad, and eating because I thought that was the solution. I was so unhappy and angry at myself that I won't ever let it get that way again. I refuse to put myself in that body again.

Now I know I said I would put up a Teriyaki Pork Taco Recipe, but we tried them, and they were not very good, so I will NOT be passing on that recipe! I have to keep getting ready for work, but I hope you all have a wonderful Monday. If you are struggling, remember why you started, and keep that in your front focus today. Don't quit. You CAN do it!!!

Day 60

Day 60!!!!! Two Months down and a lifetime to go!! I can't even believe I am almost 30 pounds down! I am so so soooo ready to get back in that gym and make an even bigger difference. I tried biking last night and let me just tell you....probably one of my worst ideas I've had in a while. If anyone knows anything about me, I'm stubborn. When I hurt my thumb in high school, playing volleyball, I went back after resting three weeks instead of the recommended 6-9 months. I don't like to rest. Although I'm sure that is why my thumb still hurts to this day. From everyone I have spoken to, an Achilles injury is nothing to mess around with, so I won't. Hayden is going to talk to the Radiologist tomorrow and see about getting an MRI as soon as possible. And then we will go from there.

I feel like I have been really lucky so far to still be losing weight, even though I am unable to go to the gym. But I don't know how long that will be happening for. I am hoping that I can heal quickly and be back at it in no time!! No matter what has happened though, I have still been eating right and making sure to take care of myself as much as possible.

Well today is football day in our house, it's Pittsburgh Steeler time!! We are a house divided, but at least I have Alayna on my side!! I know I said I would write an in-depth post, but I can't help but spend my one day off with Hayden and Alayna. I hope you all enjoy your Sundays with family and friends. I will post our recipe for Teriyaki Pork Wraps tomorrow after we eat them tonight!!!!

Day 54

Good Morning Everyone, and a VERY happy Monday to you! Today is my first day in my actual position. And let me tell you, my stomach is TURNING!!!! I never thought I could feel this sick over a job. There is so much responsibility that comes with this position. When I originally took the job, I asked if there would be an assistant manager for me, or a general manager for me to go to, and the response was, "No, just you.". So I guess I just have to take the bull by the horns and run with it!

Now I decided yesterday that I would not let this injury get me down. I am working my butt off at work and coming home and trying to separate myself from that, and then I head to the gym and separate myself from home as well. So I guess I just decided to keep my head fully focused on these two things for the next week since I can't go to the gym any way (although I might sneak over and do some arms and abs one day). I know that the doctor knows what is best for me, but it is just frustrating to feel like I hit a road block. At least I am making sure to eat healthy and am still doing a good amount of walking each day at work.

I never thought I would be able to juggle all of this when I saw how many hours a week I would be working. Yet somehow, I seem to be doing it. Some days I am absolutely more tired than others (usually Friday's because I work from 8-8), but I get by. I feel like I see my family managing more than one thing and I think, "Why can't I do that???". You readers, friends, and family are what push me through my day, each day. I think about how you all keep me uplifted and motivated when I am at my lows. I know there have been quite a few of them already and I am sure there are more to come, but you are always there. Time after time you all amaze me with your support.

So I close today with a HUGE thank you. And a PLEASE continue with me on this journey. I know I have such a long way yet to go, and it would be absolutely impossible without all of you!! I hope that in some small (or possibly big) way I have helped inspire you to make changes, or think before you do. I hope that I can, from here on out, lead by example. I thank and love all of you!!!

Day 52

Alright everyone, I know that I'm late with this one!!! Work truly got the best of me. And unfortunately I had a small little accident happen last night that put me out of commission through till this morning. I unfortunately was at the gym and found that with each stride I took on the elliptical, the more pain the back of my heel to my knee hurt. So I called Hayden and told him to come pick me up, because I felt like something was wrong. We went to the ER and after way too long of a wait the doctor came in and told me that it was a severe Achilles strain, and that if I continue to work out how I am now, I would tear it. So of course I began to cry. Why after all this hard work, would something like this happen to me??? I was heartbroken. So I asked him what my options were, and I am currently on a steroid pack to see if that will help with swelling. If that does not do the trick, I will need to begin physical therapy 3-5 days a week, because an Achilles injury is not something to play around with.

So that leads me to today. I was in pain all day, and just ready to be home from work, which I finally am. I am not going to spend much time on here, because it is Saturday night and I want to spend it with Hayden and Alayna. But, I wanted to update you all, and I will go into a little more detail tomorrow!

Have a wonderful Saturday everyone!!!