So I promised that I would keep up with my blog, and I will not let you down. I will not be writing every day. I would not set myself up for that kind of failure anymore. It was ridiculous to think that I could continue that. However I will write whenever I can. I am doing a great job of keeping up with my lifestyle change! The yoga however has been a little bit more difficult to keep up with. I am trying my best to at least work out though. I have been going for walks, I have been going to work and making sure to walk around and keep busy as often as possible, walking the steps at home up and down, anything I can possibly do. I know some of those things sound silly, but they keep me active!
This change in my life has been eye opening, it has been really difficult not to weigh in every week, but as someone who has made a huge impact on my life once said, it's not the pounds that matter, but how you feel, and the inches that matter. Health is always more important, and something that should be noted is that my liver has been getting healthier and healthier. The test they did last time showed that my fatty liver disease had severely decreased which is just fantastic!!! Apparently this diet and exercise thing really do work!
I have been scolded though through this process that I have not been eating enough. I went to see a nutritionist and dietitian and they told me that what I was doing was all wrong. So I decided to switch it up, and make sure that I was doing what was right for my body and I have seen a huge difference! I am so lucky to have such a support system in this journey though. I hope I haven't lost all of my readers, since this isn't going to facebook any longer. That was my biggest market for this blog, so hopefully this will reach other people!
I am leaving you all to that, and I promise that I will make an effort to write sooner. If there is anything more you would like to read, feel free to leave a comment and let me know! I am an open book!
Showing posts with label Life Style Change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Style Change. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
I Get It Now
Okay, so I get it now. Getting back on the horse is something that people are going to have to do for the entirety of their lives. However this time, I saw numbers that I know are very serious in my blood work, and I want to be around for my child for years to come so, here I am, making the best out of my life. I know that I have told you all that I am back on for good, but I am not going to say that this time. I am sure I will fall, and I am sure that this is not the only time that I will trip and stagger, but I want to do my best. So here goes.
I started about a month ago at the heaviest I have ever been. I am actually 13 pounds down from that, as of last week at the doctors. I have also decided after speaking to a very close friend that I will not be weighing in each week, because I become obsessive over the number and not how I look, because sometimes how I look IS more important. So I will only be weighing in at doctor's appointments. I will not weigh in at home any longer, because that will only cause anxiety and stress, and trust me, I need no extra of that!
I have been very focused on doing Yoga and putting into my body, better things. No longer putting in processed foods, only shopping on the outsides of the grocery store, not on the inside aisles. Keeping the focused mind is keeping the body focused on a healthier body as well. I have never felt better in my life because of this. I am trying my best to make sure that I am making very conscience decisions when it comes to my life. I no longer have time in my life to make poor ones.
This is my second chance and this is where I stand up and take it. Like I said, I may stumble and fall, but I know that change needs to happen this time, so I can't wait to take this journey this time!
I started about a month ago at the heaviest I have ever been. I am actually 13 pounds down from that, as of last week at the doctors. I have also decided after speaking to a very close friend that I will not be weighing in each week, because I become obsessive over the number and not how I look, because sometimes how I look IS more important. So I will only be weighing in at doctor's appointments. I will not weigh in at home any longer, because that will only cause anxiety and stress, and trust me, I need no extra of that!
I have been very focused on doing Yoga and putting into my body, better things. No longer putting in processed foods, only shopping on the outsides of the grocery store, not on the inside aisles. Keeping the focused mind is keeping the body focused on a healthier body as well. I have never felt better in my life because of this. I am trying my best to make sure that I am making very conscience decisions when it comes to my life. I no longer have time in my life to make poor ones.
This is my second chance and this is where I stand up and take it. Like I said, I may stumble and fall, but I know that change needs to happen this time, so I can't wait to take this journey this time!
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Day 116
So today we went to the Columbia County Fair, and my goodness was it fun!!! I had such a good time with Alayna, and when we originally got there, I didn't want to ride the rides. The feelings I had when I tried to ride rides last time returned. "I'm not going to fit, I'm too big, people will ask me to get off". It was embarrassing last time. It hurt inside more than I can even explain....but this time...I fit in everything I went on!!! It was SO much fun to do these things as a family! I had such a blast with Hayden and Alayna. And we took pictures together, and guess what....I liked them!!! I for some reason just feel like I look better....happier!
Can anyone please fill me in...do I look happier in pictures? Because I feel happier in them. I don't feel like the Big Girl anymore! It is such a relieving feeling!
Tomorrow I have to be up early to go to work. So I am unfortunately going to keep it kind of short tonight. I want you all to know that I am scarily close to my Disney trip, so it is time to really step it up! I am ready to have the most amazing time of my life....I want my sister and brother to see me and say "WOW!". So I need to really start working hard. I am still tweaking how I am going to make it work, but I am going to MAKE IT WORK!!!
Have an amazing Sunday night everyone!!
Can anyone please fill me in...do I look happier in pictures? Because I feel happier in them. I don't feel like the Big Girl anymore! It is such a relieving feeling!
Tomorrow I have to be up early to go to work. So I am unfortunately going to keep it kind of short tonight. I want you all to know that I am scarily close to my Disney trip, so it is time to really step it up! I am ready to have the most amazing time of my life....I want my sister and brother to see me and say "WOW!". So I need to really start working hard. I am still tweaking how I am going to make it work, but I am going to MAKE IT WORK!!!
Have an amazing Sunday night everyone!!
Friday, November 1, 2013
Day 114 - Weigh In
Good Morning everyone. Like I said yesterday, I knew this weigh in would be pointless. Nothing changed. And I realized that I didn't log into My Fitness Pal yesterday, so all 113 days of hard work aren't even showing on there anymore. I can't believe I didn't log in?!?! I felt very angry that I did that....I have worked too hard to give up now, but honestly, that's what it feels like I'm doing. I feel like I have been going on this journey so long, that now, I'm just kind of faking it. Yeah, I'm still losing weight, but not the way I was before. This feels so much like the lazy way.
So now, the feeling I have RIGHT NOW....is fury....and it is motivating. I am so furious with myself. I told myself (and other people too) when I got this job I would NOT let it get to me. I would keep going like I was before and I would let NOTHING get in my way. And then I let work get in my way. How could I??? I lied and cheated myself out of months of hard work. So I feel like I have to jump on this horse all over again. I don't think I wanted to admit to you guys (although I'm sure you could tell) that I had not been doing everything that I should be. And I am more mad at myself than anyone could be. I have been faking for too long, and it is time for me to jump on this horse, and try again. I refuse to be defeated. I refuse to let the food and laziness win.
I know in life that I will come into busy spots and life will just happen, but I can't let up completely. I have almost already given up on myself, and I just can't bear to do that. I am better than that. I know you all tell me, "You are too hard on yourself." "You are working and being a mom, you are doing great." "You are making it work.". But honestly, I'm not. I'm not making anything work. It is hard. Being a working mom, who is also trying to lose weight by eating healthy, and who is also trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week, and who is also trying to make sure she is spending enough time with her family....it is so hard. I mean, like, unbelievably hard. I don't know how people do it.....I mean really...I need some professional advice, because it is just really proving difficult. I said I wouldn't use tired as an excuse, but I am so damn tired it is unreal!!! How do I dig down deep and find the energy???
I apologize for all the venting. I think the missing a day on MFP was really my final straw. I can't keep being lazy. My body is paying for it, and I am so unhappy with myself for it. I am back at not wanting to look in the mirror really....So time to re-focus myself. Remember why I started, and GET BACK ON THAT HORSE!!!!!!!
Have a great Friday Everyone.
So now, the feeling I have RIGHT NOW....is fury....and it is motivating. I am so furious with myself. I told myself (and other people too) when I got this job I would NOT let it get to me. I would keep going like I was before and I would let NOTHING get in my way. And then I let work get in my way. How could I??? I lied and cheated myself out of months of hard work. So I feel like I have to jump on this horse all over again. I don't think I wanted to admit to you guys (although I'm sure you could tell) that I had not been doing everything that I should be. And I am more mad at myself than anyone could be. I have been faking for too long, and it is time for me to jump on this horse, and try again. I refuse to be defeated. I refuse to let the food and laziness win.
I know in life that I will come into busy spots and life will just happen, but I can't let up completely. I have almost already given up on myself, and I just can't bear to do that. I am better than that. I know you all tell me, "You are too hard on yourself." "You are working and being a mom, you are doing great." "You are making it work.". But honestly, I'm not. I'm not making anything work. It is hard. Being a working mom, who is also trying to lose weight by eating healthy, and who is also trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week, and who is also trying to make sure she is spending enough time with her family....it is so hard. I mean, like, unbelievably hard. I don't know how people do it.....I mean really...I need some professional advice, because it is just really proving difficult. I said I wouldn't use tired as an excuse, but I am so damn tired it is unreal!!! How do I dig down deep and find the energy???
I apologize for all the venting. I think the missing a day on MFP was really my final straw. I can't keep being lazy. My body is paying for it, and I am so unhappy with myself for it. I am back at not wanting to look in the mirror really....So time to re-focus myself. Remember why I started, and GET BACK ON THAT HORSE!!!!!!!
Have a great Friday Everyone.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Day 94
Hello Everyone!!! I hope you all are having a great Saturday with family!! We have been grocery shopping all day and we have been cleaning. It's been a VERY productive day. I am getting ready for my mom and dad to come, and I could NOT be any more excited!!!!
I am keeping it short because I have so much cleaning to do before our little get together tonight, but I just wanted to pop in and tell you all what I have been up to today. I have been in this absolutely amazing mood lately, that I can't seem to shake, which is a good thing!! I just want to take every day one step at a time and enjoy it. Everything that is happening to me, is happening for a reason, and I just need to enjoy it!!!
I will leave you with that. Enjoy your days and remember that every little thing that is happening in your life right now, is happening for a reason!! Happy Saturday everyone!! Enjoy yourselves!!!
I am keeping it short because I have so much cleaning to do before our little get together tonight, but I just wanted to pop in and tell you all what I have been up to today. I have been in this absolutely amazing mood lately, that I can't seem to shake, which is a good thing!! I just want to take every day one step at a time and enjoy it. Everything that is happening to me, is happening for a reason, and I just need to enjoy it!!!
I will leave you with that. Enjoy your days and remember that every little thing that is happening in your life right now, is happening for a reason!! Happy Saturday everyone!! Enjoy yourselves!!!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Day 92
Good morning everyone! SO I sat down last night and thought about what the top three things that were really important to me that were related to this journey. And this is what I came up with:
1. Being able to be around for Alayna. Being able to live a long live and being able to keep up with her. If I could have as much energy as she has, that would be incredible!! She is the most important thing in the world to me, and it is so important that I am here for her.
2. My health. I really don't have much extra to say than that. It is important that I treat my body as a temple. And this is the best way I know how. Eat right and exercise, that is what is important to me and to make sure that I make it to where I want to really be in my life.
3. Disney World.....I want....no NEED....to keep that in my forefront of my mind. I want to get the absolute most out of this trip, and being over weight and not being able to keep up with my family would be the worst thing for me. I want to go on every ride and not worry "do I have to sit in that special seating, and will I even fit in that???"
So that was what I came up with. Those are the things both short term and long term that are the most important to me. Losing weight is important to me, but it shouldn't be at the front of my mind all the time. I have a full time job, come home and take care of Alayna, and somehow have to work out as well. So I really need to focus on short term goals and not long term goals. I will admit that the biggest thing that got me down was not that I wasn't where I wanted to be, but looking back on notes I had taken when I started, I thought I could do it all and get the most incredible results quickly. That is simply unrealistic for me. I have too much going on to keep up the progress I had when I was not working. So I vow to not get as easily frustrated!! Or at least I will try!!
I will leave you all with that. It is almost time for me to go to work so I will talk to all you lovely people tomorrow!! Have a wonderful Thursday!!
1. Being able to be around for Alayna. Being able to live a long live and being able to keep up with her. If I could have as much energy as she has, that would be incredible!! She is the most important thing in the world to me, and it is so important that I am here for her.
2. My health. I really don't have much extra to say than that. It is important that I treat my body as a temple. And this is the best way I know how. Eat right and exercise, that is what is important to me and to make sure that I make it to where I want to really be in my life.
3. Disney World.....I want....no NEED....to keep that in my forefront of my mind. I want to get the absolute most out of this trip, and being over weight and not being able to keep up with my family would be the worst thing for me. I want to go on every ride and not worry "do I have to sit in that special seating, and will I even fit in that???"
So that was what I came up with. Those are the things both short term and long term that are the most important to me. Losing weight is important to me, but it shouldn't be at the front of my mind all the time. I have a full time job, come home and take care of Alayna, and somehow have to work out as well. So I really need to focus on short term goals and not long term goals. I will admit that the biggest thing that got me down was not that I wasn't where I wanted to be, but looking back on notes I had taken when I started, I thought I could do it all and get the most incredible results quickly. That is simply unrealistic for me. I have too much going on to keep up the progress I had when I was not working. So I vow to not get as easily frustrated!! Or at least I will try!!
I will leave you all with that. It is almost time for me to go to work so I will talk to all you lovely people tomorrow!! Have a wonderful Thursday!!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Day 90
Wow....day 90.....almost 100 days and I am NO where near where I wanted to be. This day was supposed to be this very celebratory day, and it is quite the opposite. I am very far from happy today. I look in the mirror and I am back to seeing the girl from 90 days ago. I am not seeing the girl I thought I would be seeing. So I just really need to hone in and figure out what is the most important to me. Figure out what it is that is important and stick to that. I know this seems like I am complaining, but I am just no where near where I thought I would be at this point in this journey.
I know this is a marathon and not a sprint, but I am unhappy with my progress so I am just going to have to figure out what I can do to fix it. I know I said that I would post a list today about what I really am going to start focusing on these next few weeks, but I don't know what that is just yet. I am thinking too long term when I really need to be thinking short term. I am thinking too much about what I want now, but can't have, then what I need now and what is to come. (if that makes sense).
I have so much work still to do that I don't know how I will ever get there. I am unfortunately thinking so much about what I want when this is over, than what I need to be focused on now. So I will leave you all with that this evening. I am trying to just vent this one out and work it out on my own, so I will let you all know how that goes tomorrow. Have a wonderful evening everyone!!
I know this is a marathon and not a sprint, but I am unhappy with my progress so I am just going to have to figure out what I can do to fix it. I know I said that I would post a list today about what I really am going to start focusing on these next few weeks, but I don't know what that is just yet. I am thinking too long term when I really need to be thinking short term. I am thinking too much about what I want now, but can't have, then what I need now and what is to come. (if that makes sense).
I have so much work still to do that I don't know how I will ever get there. I am unfortunately thinking so much about what I want when this is over, than what I need to be focused on now. So I will leave you all with that this evening. I am trying to just vent this one out and work it out on my own, so I will let you all know how that goes tomorrow. Have a wonderful evening everyone!!
Monday, October 7, 2013
Day 89
Good Evening everyone!! I can't apologize enough for yesterday! I was so tired and honestly I am again today. I can't believe how much I have been trying to catch up on the last couple days, that it is really wearing me out. I want to to keep it really short today and just talk a little bit about some goals I want to set tomorrow morning. I want to figure out some things that I really want to achieve before December, and I will post it tomorrow.
Any good goals you all think I should try to reach soon? I can't wait to hear them!
Have a wonderful evening everyone! I am heading to bed early again tonight!! Sleep well everyone!!!
Any good goals you all think I should try to reach soon? I can't wait to hear them!
Have a wonderful evening everyone! I am heading to bed early again tonight!! Sleep well everyone!!!
Friday, October 4, 2013
Day 86 - Weigh In
Good Morning everyone!!! Today was the day...and I am just going to say that I am satisfied. It's not that I'm overwhelmingly happy, but I am content with what popped up today! I promise next week is going to be bigger because I am stepping it up this next week!!!
So the scale was exactly 1 pound down today for a grand total of 33.7 pounds gone and never coming back!!!!!! I can't believe in just 86 days....33.7 pounds is no where to be found!!!! It is mind blowing. I mean...33.7.....that's a lot of weight. I have almost lost Alayna!!! Come to think of it....lifting her up....I can't believe that I used to carry that around with me....how did I do it??? Either way...I am happy to be rid of it!!!
SO I know what you are all going to say, a pound is a pound which is better than a gain!! Which I am totally agreeing with! However, I'm ready to see bigger numbers which is why this week is a no excuses week. I know I have been saying that, but I really mean it this time! I can not keep making excuses for why I can't get everything done. I just need to suck it up, and get it done!! I really wanted to be past a certain goal by now, and I am currently no where near it. SO it is time to step up the intensity a bit!
Lastly today....I'm going to shamelessly promote myself! I know that there are so many of you that read every day! And I couldn't be any more thankful to you all than I already am, but do any of you have friends, family, coworkers, or even just a gym you go to where people are struggling? Not sure if they can do it? Well send them over to my blog!!! I write in hopes of inspiring. I don't ever want anyone to feel how I feel. No child or adult should have to go through this! So please...I don't have anything to gain from it, other than inspiring people. Which is what I really want this blog to be. SO again...any one you know needing some extra motivation or who really likes to read, send em my way!!! We can ALL do this together!
SO I will leave you at that! I hope you all have a wonderful Friday!! Be inspired to make a change. You are a beautiful person...yes you!!! Get up and take your life back....you deserve it!!!
So the scale was exactly 1 pound down today for a grand total of 33.7 pounds gone and never coming back!!!!!! I can't believe in just 86 days....33.7 pounds is no where to be found!!!! It is mind blowing. I mean...33.7.....that's a lot of weight. I have almost lost Alayna!!! Come to think of it....lifting her up....I can't believe that I used to carry that around with me....how did I do it??? Either way...I am happy to be rid of it!!!
SO I know what you are all going to say, a pound is a pound which is better than a gain!! Which I am totally agreeing with! However, I'm ready to see bigger numbers which is why this week is a no excuses week. I know I have been saying that, but I really mean it this time! I can not keep making excuses for why I can't get everything done. I just need to suck it up, and get it done!! I really wanted to be past a certain goal by now, and I am currently no where near it. SO it is time to step up the intensity a bit!
Lastly today....I'm going to shamelessly promote myself! I know that there are so many of you that read every day! And I couldn't be any more thankful to you all than I already am, but do any of you have friends, family, coworkers, or even just a gym you go to where people are struggling? Not sure if they can do it? Well send them over to my blog!!! I write in hopes of inspiring. I don't ever want anyone to feel how I feel. No child or adult should have to go through this! So please...I don't have anything to gain from it, other than inspiring people. Which is what I really want this blog to be. SO again...any one you know needing some extra motivation or who really likes to read, send em my way!!! We can ALL do this together!
SO I will leave you at that! I hope you all have a wonderful Friday!! Be inspired to make a change. You are a beautiful person...yes you!!! Get up and take your life back....you deserve it!!!
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Day 81
Good Evening everyone!!! I know this sounds absolutely terrible, but today, I just wanted to be totally invested in my time with Hayden and Alayna. I know I have been short and late as of lately, but I am just loving every and all amount of time I have with them. I love them and don't seem to get much time with them lately, so I want to breath it all in while I can.
It seems a little crazy that ever since I got this job, I have been realizing how precious my time with Alayna is! I mean I did before, but I REALLY do now. I look back on pictures that were as little as 6 months ago, and I can't believe how big she has gotten. She, in such a short amount of time, has just become such a little lady. It pains me to see her not needing me as much anymore and it scares me. I don't know what I will do when it comes time to send her to school...I can barely handle leaving her every day! I miss her more and more each day!! So that is why I write late, and take advantage of my time with her!
I know this blog has taken a weird turn, away from fitness, but I am starting this week with a very strict eating plan and going to the gym every day. I keep saying that, but am "too tired" but those are just excuses. So this week starts a very strict eating and exercise plan. That is just how it needs to be for a couple weeks so I can start seeing results! I did it before I got this job, and I can do it while I have this job. So I am making a promise that you WILL see an increase in more fitness and food related posts!! Not "Boo, I'm so tired and working hard". No more excuses....they don't exist anymore!
It seems a little crazy that ever since I got this job, I have been realizing how precious my time with Alayna is! I mean I did before, but I REALLY do now. I look back on pictures that were as little as 6 months ago, and I can't believe how big she has gotten. She, in such a short amount of time, has just become such a little lady. It pains me to see her not needing me as much anymore and it scares me. I don't know what I will do when it comes time to send her to school...I can barely handle leaving her every day! I miss her more and more each day!! So that is why I write late, and take advantage of my time with her!
I know this blog has taken a weird turn, away from fitness, but I am starting this week with a very strict eating plan and going to the gym every day. I keep saying that, but am "too tired" but those are just excuses. So this week starts a very strict eating and exercise plan. That is just how it needs to be for a couple weeks so I can start seeing results! I did it before I got this job, and I can do it while I have this job. So I am making a promise that you WILL see an increase in more fitness and food related posts!! Not "Boo, I'm so tired and working hard". No more excuses....they don't exist anymore!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Day 69
Good morning everyone! You know it's going to be a good day when you hit snooze 4 times in a row....I can only imagine how today is going to go!! Last night I was talking to a friend and it really did make me look at my life in a whole new way.
When I moved to Virginia with Hayden, I was lucky enough to land an amazing job. I got to do something I love, learn new things, and work with some of the most incredible people that I have ever met to this day. I thought even living in Virginia was hard. I was far from family, I was far from friends, and people kept coming and going. But it was truly nothing compared to here. I still have yet to make any real friends that I have hung out with recreationally, and it was starting to take a toll on me. But then, I realized that I have been so blessed with an amazing daughter, incredible husband, and a wonderful job to occupy my time. So in reality I have a very small amount of free time, that is already being kept by my family. It is hard to be so far from everything you know, but I make the most of it! I love traveling, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I love the life we live and I am thankful that I was able to write like this to keep myself motivated.
I will admit the last weeks I haven't been doing the best. I have been slacking and giving excuses, but it was just a stumble. I am no longer going to make those excuses. I am going to stick to my guns and be ready for December! After all, I need to make the most out of the one vacation I have this year!
I hope you all have an incredible day today. I have to go out of town for a meeting all day, so I will be in the car most of the day. Stay on track today...it happens (tripping that is), but it's how you handle it that makes you who you are!
When I moved to Virginia with Hayden, I was lucky enough to land an amazing job. I got to do something I love, learn new things, and work with some of the most incredible people that I have ever met to this day. I thought even living in Virginia was hard. I was far from family, I was far from friends, and people kept coming and going. But it was truly nothing compared to here. I still have yet to make any real friends that I have hung out with recreationally, and it was starting to take a toll on me. But then, I realized that I have been so blessed with an amazing daughter, incredible husband, and a wonderful job to occupy my time. So in reality I have a very small amount of free time, that is already being kept by my family. It is hard to be so far from everything you know, but I make the most of it! I love traveling, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I love the life we live and I am thankful that I was able to write like this to keep myself motivated.
I will admit the last weeks I haven't been doing the best. I have been slacking and giving excuses, but it was just a stumble. I am no longer going to make those excuses. I am going to stick to my guns and be ready for December! After all, I need to make the most out of the one vacation I have this year!
I hope you all have an incredible day today. I have to go out of town for a meeting all day, so I will be in the car most of the day. Stay on track today...it happens (tripping that is), but it's how you handle it that makes you who you are!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Day 68
Good Morning. I had a very early start to this Monday morning so I promised I would write! I unfortunately did not go to the gym yesterday evening because I realized I had to be up so early. So It didn't seem to make sense to keep myself exhausted today. So tonight I will be going since I am off early today! I am going to try the bike again. Especially since I have another doctors appointment Thursday.
It is nothing special, just going to try and get an Ortho referral. Hopefully they will look over the scans with me so I can at least see what is going on with the muscle. Which apparently is where the damage is. SO hopefully I am on my way to some answers this week!!
So I think these last couple weeks I have let my frustrations get the best of me, and this week I REFUSE to let that happen again. No matter what the numbers say, or what I am fitting in, I am making a change some how.
Alright, time to get the baby up and ready, and time for me to head out to work! I hope you all have a wonderful Monday and keep positive this week!!!
It is nothing special, just going to try and get an Ortho referral. Hopefully they will look over the scans with me so I can at least see what is going on with the muscle. Which apparently is where the damage is. SO hopefully I am on my way to some answers this week!!
So I think these last couple weeks I have let my frustrations get the best of me, and this week I REFUSE to let that happen again. No matter what the numbers say, or what I am fitting in, I am making a change some how.
Alright, time to get the baby up and ready, and time for me to head out to work! I hope you all have a wonderful Monday and keep positive this week!!!
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Day 63
Alright everyone....I forgot to write this morning! I am so sorry!!! I am going to keep tonight VERY short! Just enough to fill you in on how yesterdays appointment went.
I got the results back (preliminarily) and the Achilles is fully in tact, which is GREAT!! However, the muscle surrounding it is damaged. And there is a lot of fluid build up in my ankle around the accessory muscle (whatever that is). So I will now have to try to get an ortho appointment and we can go from there on how to fix it. The pain has just been increasing day by day and I am hoping to get this moving quickly because of it.
I told Hayden I wanted to go to the gym tonight, but we both discussed, and I am going to wait until next week after my regular appointment to see what the doctor says I should do.
I apologize again for no post! It just completely slipped my mind this morning while getting ready. I hope you all had a wonderful Wednesday!! I will write a longer post tomorrow, I promise!!
I got the results back (preliminarily) and the Achilles is fully in tact, which is GREAT!! However, the muscle surrounding it is damaged. And there is a lot of fluid build up in my ankle around the accessory muscle (whatever that is). So I will now have to try to get an ortho appointment and we can go from there on how to fix it. The pain has just been increasing day by day and I am hoping to get this moving quickly because of it.
I told Hayden I wanted to go to the gym tonight, but we both discussed, and I am going to wait until next week after my regular appointment to see what the doctor says I should do.
I apologize again for no post! It just completely slipped my mind this morning while getting ready. I hope you all had a wonderful Wednesday!! I will write a longer post tomorrow, I promise!!
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Day 62
Good Morning everyone. I was up nice and early today to go get an MRI and X-Rays done on my ankle. Hopefully I will be getting some answers quickly and I can be well on my way to healing!!
I am so nervous to just find out what is going on. I feel like I have been waiting for some time now, since this pain has started really, and now that it is here, I am just worried about what it is going to say. Hopefully it is something that can be fixed easily and won't put me out any longer than necessary. I know that it has been a crazy month or so and I am just hoping that this helps things go just a little bit better!
I sit here and think of how happy I am with how life is going right now. I know that I talk a lot about getting down, and I was down yesterday morning, but I feel like I have no reason to be down! I have so many things going for me in my life, that why would I be down??? It would be selfish of me to not be happy with everything that is going better for me. Sometimes I find that I am so worried about everyone else that I don't stop to think about how well things are going for me and just how happy I should be. I want to be happy and there is no reason I shouldn't be. I have to stop letting small things get in my way of feeling like that.
I am keeping it fairly short today because I am so on edge waiting for Hayden's call about this morning. So I will let you all know tomorrow what is going on! Have a wonderful Tuesday!
I am so nervous to just find out what is going on. I feel like I have been waiting for some time now, since this pain has started really, and now that it is here, I am just worried about what it is going to say. Hopefully it is something that can be fixed easily and won't put me out any longer than necessary. I know that it has been a crazy month or so and I am just hoping that this helps things go just a little bit better!
I sit here and think of how happy I am with how life is going right now. I know that I talk a lot about getting down, and I was down yesterday morning, but I feel like I have no reason to be down! I have so many things going for me in my life, that why would I be down??? It would be selfish of me to not be happy with everything that is going better for me. Sometimes I find that I am so worried about everyone else that I don't stop to think about how well things are going for me and just how happy I should be. I want to be happy and there is no reason I shouldn't be. I have to stop letting small things get in my way of feeling like that.
I am keeping it fairly short today because I am so on edge waiting for Hayden's call about this morning. So I will let you all know tomorrow what is going on! Have a wonderful Tuesday!
Monday, September 9, 2013
Day 61
Good Morning everyone! Day 61!!! Made it to month three! I can't believe I have been on this journey for this long already! I am truly speechless in this whole situation!! I have struggled a lot already, and I can't imagine what is still to come, but I couldn't have done it without this blog. For all of you that read this every day, I literally could not have done this without any of you!!!
If I had not started this blog, I can promise you that I would have given up already. I would have gone ahead and just given into my old ways and nothing would have changed. Granted I have hit some what of a roadblock lately with gym activities, I have still been making progress.
Sometimes I take a look at this one picture I have of me, and think what happened? Why was I so unhappy that I let it get to that. I mean eating just because I was sad, and eating because I thought that was the solution. I was so unhappy and angry at myself that I won't ever let it get that way again. I refuse to put myself in that body again.
Now I know I said I would put up a Teriyaki Pork Taco Recipe, but we tried them, and they were not very good, so I will NOT be passing on that recipe! I have to keep getting ready for work, but I hope you all have a wonderful Monday. If you are struggling, remember why you started, and keep that in your front focus today. Don't quit. You CAN do it!!!
If I had not started this blog, I can promise you that I would have given up already. I would have gone ahead and just given into my old ways and nothing would have changed. Granted I have hit some what of a roadblock lately with gym activities, I have still been making progress.
Sometimes I take a look at this one picture I have of me, and think what happened? Why was I so unhappy that I let it get to that. I mean eating just because I was sad, and eating because I thought that was the solution. I was so unhappy and angry at myself that I won't ever let it get that way again. I refuse to put myself in that body again.
Now I know I said I would put up a Teriyaki Pork Taco Recipe, but we tried them, and they were not very good, so I will NOT be passing on that recipe! I have to keep getting ready for work, but I hope you all have a wonderful Monday. If you are struggling, remember why you started, and keep that in your front focus today. Don't quit. You CAN do it!!!
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Day 60
Day 60!!!!! Two Months down and a lifetime to go!! I can't even believe I am almost 30 pounds down! I am so so soooo ready to get back in that gym and make an even bigger difference. I tried biking last night and let me just tell you....probably one of my worst ideas I've had in a while. If anyone knows anything about me, I'm stubborn. When I hurt my thumb in high school, playing volleyball, I went back after resting three weeks instead of the recommended 6-9 months. I don't like to rest. Although I'm sure that is why my thumb still hurts to this day. From everyone I have spoken to, an Achilles injury is nothing to mess around with, so I won't. Hayden is going to talk to the Radiologist tomorrow and see about getting an MRI as soon as possible. And then we will go from there.
I feel like I have been really lucky so far to still be losing weight, even though I am unable to go to the gym. But I don't know how long that will be happening for. I am hoping that I can heal quickly and be back at it in no time!! No matter what has happened though, I have still been eating right and making sure to take care of myself as much as possible.
Well today is football day in our house, it's Pittsburgh Steeler time!! We are a house divided, but at least I have Alayna on my side!! I know I said I would write an in-depth post, but I can't help but spend my one day off with Hayden and Alayna. I hope you all enjoy your Sundays with family and friends. I will post our recipe for Teriyaki Pork Wraps tomorrow after we eat them tonight!!!!
I feel like I have been really lucky so far to still be losing weight, even though I am unable to go to the gym. But I don't know how long that will be happening for. I am hoping that I can heal quickly and be back at it in no time!! No matter what has happened though, I have still been eating right and making sure to take care of myself as much as possible.
Well today is football day in our house, it's Pittsburgh Steeler time!! We are a house divided, but at least I have Alayna on my side!! I know I said I would write an in-depth post, but I can't help but spend my one day off with Hayden and Alayna. I hope you all enjoy your Sundays with family and friends. I will post our recipe for Teriyaki Pork Wraps tomorrow after we eat them tonight!!!!
Friday, September 6, 2013
Day 58 - Weigh In
Weigh in day...it's finally here. Seems like since I started back to work, it is happening more often than not! But it keeps me on my toes! So I was thinking today that maybe I would make all of you wait until the VERY END of this post to see what I weighed in at this week. But then I assumed that people would just scroll to the bottom, read, and then scroll back up and read the rest. So go ahead everyone.....scroll to the bottom of the page....read my numbers.................
Tricked you...I am going to put them right here! This week I weighed in 2.9 lbs. down for a total of 28.8 lbs. down in 58 days! Again, it wasn't quite where I wanted to be, but I will take 28.8 over 0 any day of the week!!!!
So for all of you that scrolled down for nothing, I apologize. Just feeling in a cheerful mood this morning! I woke up feeling tired, down, and ready to just crawl back into bed. Until I went to get my morning shake and I saw something on my fridge. It's a little card from my Nonnie's funeral and it says:
Tricked you...I am going to put them right here! This week I weighed in 2.9 lbs. down for a total of 28.8 lbs. down in 58 days! Again, it wasn't quite where I wanted to be, but I will take 28.8 over 0 any day of the week!!!!
So for all of you that scrolled down for nothing, I apologize. Just feeling in a cheerful mood this morning! I woke up feeling tired, down, and ready to just crawl back into bed. Until I went to get my morning shake and I saw something on my fridge. It's a little card from my Nonnie's funeral and it says:
God hath not promised
skies always blue. Flowers strewn
pathways all our lives through;
God hath not promised
sun without rain, joy without sorrow,
peace without pain.
But God hath promised
strength for the day, rest for the labor,
light for the way, grace for the trials,
help from above, unfailing sympathy,
undying love.
It was exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Nonnie always has a way of coming into my life exactly when I need her. When things weren't going well, and I really needed to get a job, she was there. I know I have a guardian angel watching over me through all of this. So because I know she is reading or listening, thank you. Thank you for guiding me when you knew I needed it, and allowing me to figure things out on my own when you knew that was what was best for me. You have always had a faith and love in me that was unexplainable. You have pushed me through this journey more than I ever thought possible, because you weren't here, but I found out you are always here. It is just how you choose to make yourself present, that makes me see you now. So, thank you.
And thank YOU! All of you have kept on pushing. When I'm down, injured, sick, failing, or even just happy and having you share in that! This journey is hard. Anyone who has ever been through it, or tried and stumbled, knows it is a hard thing to do. You are changing your entire life around to adapt to a new way of life. So thank you all for sticking with me!
Have a wonderful Friday! Enjoy your family, friends, and even co-workers. They are what make you who you are, and keep you on the journey you are on. Don't ever forget that!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Day 56
Well....I am late again today!!! I apologize, it was an early day at work today, but at least I am home now and relaxing. I have decided today is definitely going to be a very short post since I have some very much needed time with Alayna. It is very rare that I am home with her, so I want to take advantage of it!!
So I am headed back to the gym tonight for the first time in a little under a week (since I hurt my ankle), and we will see how it goes. I am in a pretty severe amount of pain, but I'm hoping it is something I can work through.
I know what you all are thinking, "You need to take time off to heal". I feel like I have taken the time I need and I just need to get back in the gym and see how it goes. I need to feel like I am doing something other than just eating healthy!!
Okay......I told you it was going to be short, I wasn't kidding!!! Off to spend time with my favorite little girl! Have a wonderful rest of the day!
So I am headed back to the gym tonight for the first time in a little under a week (since I hurt my ankle), and we will see how it goes. I am in a pretty severe amount of pain, but I'm hoping it is something I can work through.
I know what you all are thinking, "You need to take time off to heal". I feel like I have taken the time I need and I just need to get back in the gym and see how it goes. I need to feel like I am doing something other than just eating healthy!!
Okay......I told you it was going to be short, I wasn't kidding!!! Off to spend time with my favorite little girl! Have a wonderful rest of the day!
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Day 49
Good Morning everyone! I am going to have to keep today VERY short because I am running behind. Alayna is really sick again today and being very cuddly so my priority is there. But while she eats some breakfast, I am going to write to all you wonderful people!
I was going to talk today about how nice it has been to go to the gym alone every night and have the whole gym to myself, and then last night, it was packed!!! There were a surprising amount of people at the gym at 11:30 at night! I was back to my old shy self again. I kept going to the other side of the gym where no one was at, and keeping to myself...I just felt like I was starting all over again. I wish I was more confident when I was there, but I just haven't gotten to that point yet. I guess it is just another one of those things that take time.
Last night I was late coming home from work, and it was so nice to come home to dinner ready and on the table. I can honestly say that through all of this, I have had the best support system possible!!! Hayden pushes me harder than I thought possible, and I am so lucky to have him!! Remember, if any of you out there are trying to start a journey like mine, make sure you have a strong support system...because without that, it just won't work!! I used to keep it to myself, and not let anyone in on my journey, and this time I am so motivated because of my strong support system!
So like I said, I'm keeping it short to get as much cuddle time in with Alayna as I can. Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!!
I was going to talk today about how nice it has been to go to the gym alone every night and have the whole gym to myself, and then last night, it was packed!!! There were a surprising amount of people at the gym at 11:30 at night! I was back to my old shy self again. I kept going to the other side of the gym where no one was at, and keeping to myself...I just felt like I was starting all over again. I wish I was more confident when I was there, but I just haven't gotten to that point yet. I guess it is just another one of those things that take time.
Last night I was late coming home from work, and it was so nice to come home to dinner ready and on the table. I can honestly say that through all of this, I have had the best support system possible!!! Hayden pushes me harder than I thought possible, and I am so lucky to have him!! Remember, if any of you out there are trying to start a journey like mine, make sure you have a strong support system...because without that, it just won't work!! I used to keep it to myself, and not let anyone in on my journey, and this time I am so motivated because of my strong support system!
So like I said, I'm keeping it short to get as much cuddle time in with Alayna as I can. Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Day 46
So today I decided I wanted to talk about my frustrations as of late. I am so frustrated with where I am right now. Every day I look at myself in the mirror and am so unhappy with who I see. I know she is different than the girl that I was when I started, but I still see her. I still see that girl from 46 days ago that was so unhappy. I still feel like that girl. How do I STOP from feeling like her? And then when I do feel like her, it makes me want to hole up in a corner and just cry. I know these feelings are normal but I am so tired of getting them. I am no where near where I want to be in this journey and I don't know how to get there. I wanted to be well over 35 lbs. down by now and I am still a far ways away from that. I thought I could do it, and now I'm thinking I can't. And 35 lbs at this point is nothing compared to where I really need to be. So now I'm stuck with this feeling of not being good enough to meet my goal and what if I can't meet my goal by the time we need to go on our trip in December. I would be so unhappy that I did all this work for nothing.
I know this post is a little "venty", but it's how I'm feeling. I am just really really frustrated with myself. I am really unhappy today. Maybe it's that I'm sick, or tired from working so much, or just overworked with this crazy busy schedule. But what I do know is that I have to kick this feeling and quick! I can't let it get the best of me, or I will be able to see it in my numbers next Friday! So hopefully today it will be a nice slow work day and I can keep calm and focus on what my goal really is.
Maybe if I actually take those before and during pictures I was talking about, it might give me a little bit of push. Sometimes my eye can't see exactly what is there, but a photograph captures it a little better. And a side by side is always easier to see results in. So I will do those tomorrow....with my day off. You will get to see where I started and where I am, and you all can be the judge of if I'm just crazy, or there really is nothing to see!!
Have a wonderful Sunday everyone! I'm going to try to keep calm and count my positives today!
I know this post is a little "venty", but it's how I'm feeling. I am just really really frustrated with myself. I am really unhappy today. Maybe it's that I'm sick, or tired from working so much, or just overworked with this crazy busy schedule. But what I do know is that I have to kick this feeling and quick! I can't let it get the best of me, or I will be able to see it in my numbers next Friday! So hopefully today it will be a nice slow work day and I can keep calm and focus on what my goal really is.
Maybe if I actually take those before and during pictures I was talking about, it might give me a little bit of push. Sometimes my eye can't see exactly what is there, but a photograph captures it a little better. And a side by side is always easier to see results in. So I will do those tomorrow....with my day off. You will get to see where I started and where I am, and you all can be the judge of if I'm just crazy, or there really is nothing to see!!
Have a wonderful Sunday everyone! I'm going to try to keep calm and count my positives today!
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