Day 114 - Weigh In

Good Morning everyone. Like I said yesterday, I knew this weigh in would be pointless. Nothing changed. And I realized that I didn't log into My Fitness Pal yesterday, so all 113 days of hard work aren't even showing on there anymore. I can't believe I didn't log in?!?! I felt very angry that I did that....I have worked too hard to give up now, but honestly, that's what it feels like I'm doing. I feel like I have been going on this journey so long, that now, I'm just kind of faking it. Yeah, I'm still losing weight, but not the way I was before. This feels so much like the lazy way.

So now, the feeling I have RIGHT NOW....is fury....and it is motivating. I am so furious with myself. I told myself (and other people too) when I got this job I would NOT let it get to me. I would keep going like I was before and I would let NOTHING get in my way. And then I let work get in my way. How could I??? I lied and cheated myself out of months of hard work. So I feel like I have to jump on this horse all over again. I don't think I wanted to admit to you guys (although I'm sure you could tell) that I had not been doing everything that I should be. And I am more mad at myself than anyone could be. I have been faking for too long, and it is time for me to jump on this horse, and try again. I refuse to be defeated. I refuse to let the food and laziness win.

I know in life that I will come into busy spots and life will just happen, but I can't let up completely. I have almost already given up on myself, and I just can't bear to do that. I am better than that. I know you all tell me, "You are too hard on yourself." "You are working and being a mom, you are doing great." "You are making it work.". But honestly, I'm not. I'm not making anything work. It is hard. Being a working mom, who is also trying to lose weight by eating healthy, and who is also trying to go to the gym at least 4 times a week, and who is also trying to make sure she is spending enough time with her family....it is so hard. I mean, like, unbelievably hard. I don't know how people do it.....I mean really...I need some professional advice, because it is just really proving difficult. I said I wouldn't use tired as an excuse, but I am so damn tired it is unreal!!! How do I dig down deep and find the energy???


I apologize for all the venting. I think the missing a day on MFP was really my final straw. I can't keep being lazy. My body is paying for it, and I am so unhappy with myself for it. I am back at not wanting to look in the mirror really....So time to re-focus myself. Remember why I started, and GET BACK ON THAT HORSE!!!!!!!

Have a great Friday Everyone.

Day 110

Good Evening Everyone!!!! Today was quite a bit to handle! I have FINALLY finished my training binders, so I thought I would be able to focus a little more on life, but unfortunately something else came around the corner.....BUT it should be a quick thing!!!

I found my old journal and have been looking through some of my posts....boy was I unhappy....I'm happy I have made the decisions I have made in my life. Granted I complain a lot, I am happier!! I have come a long way from there. So I really do have all of you to thank for that. I am so happy that 110 days ago I decided to do something about it. I don't know where I would be now if I hadn't...probably really unhappy!!!!

So I am going to work on more work...exciting right?? Like I don't do enough of that! But I am watching SNL with Hayden...and boy is it a good one. So I am going to go and multi-task and you all go and enjoy your evenings!!!

Day 107 - Weigh In

Well.....I knew I wasn't going to hit my goal from last week. I didn't work for it. I should have worked harder and I didn't. I made excuses. I was tired, I got home too late, I have a headache, I want to spend time at home....they are excuses. I could have gone, and I just chose not to.

So I jumped on that scale today, knowing I wouldn't be happy with it, and boy was I right. I was .2 pounds down for a total of 36.5 pounds down.

Right now I think I am in a place where I just really need to time manage more than ever. It's going to be even more difficult when trying to run two stores, not just one, and still trying to somewhat have a life outside of work. I had this thought dropping Alayna off at Miss J's house (sitter), I bet she likes her more than me, she sees her more than me....I'm a terrible mother....

I wish I could say this wasn't a real thought, but it is. I hope some day she understands that I am working so hard for her. I work the hours and times I work, to provide her a better life. She deserves the most out of life, and I will work as hard as I possibly can to provide her with that.

So....what I think I need now, more than ever, is an daily agenda. Keeping to a strict daily routine will hopefully make it a little less difficult to keep on track. So when I said I wanted to work on lists on Tuesday, this was one of them. Making a schedule for me to keep to, would be amazing, and more convenient. Forcing myself to go to the gym at least four times a week. Making family time a special time, and really being there. Getting my blogs done in the mornings, so that I can have the evenings to really focus on Hayden and Alayna. And when I'm at work, be there....but disconnect once I get home.

That is what I need to work on for myself. A routine. Once I am in a routine, the rest will all fall into place.

SO I am leaving you all with that. I still need to get ready for work and somehow wake up. I slept awful again. I keep dreaming of work, so it's like I'm pulling 24 hour shifts! So off to the coffee machine for me! I hope you all have a wonderful day, and I know I am going to try to keep my head up and "Get em' next time". Because it's not how you start, but how you finish, and I WILL finish this next 44 days strong!!

Day 97

Good Morning everyone!! I told you I was going to be up and at em this morning!!! I just wanted to let you all in on what was going on with me and this week!!!

On Thursday morning I have a doctors appointment with the ortho doctor. Hopefully I can figure out what is going on with my ankle. It seems to be feeling a little bit better, but all of a sudden this past week, it started hurting really bad. So I will just have to take it one step at a time and see what he thinks is going on.

My dad and I figured out which race we are going to do. It is a nice casual walk, so it should be easy on both of us!! It's the miracle mile, 3 mile race in Augusta. It's the Breast Cancer Awareness walk, and it should be a blast!! I love supporting a good cause, so it should be a good time for everyone!!

The other thing we were planning on doing this weekend was going pumpkin picking!!! Alayna is so excited to go pick pumpkins with Mema and Pappy!!! This years holidays are going to be so much different with her actually understanding, and getting excited about them! We have been talking up Santa for quite some time now, and she couldn't be more excited! So these holidays are DEFINITELY going to be different!!!!

Well, I know I didn't talk much about how my fitness life is going, but I am just so excited for this week/weekend!! I hope you all have a great day and enjoy yourselves!!!

Day 94

Hello Everyone!!! I hope you all are having a great Saturday with family!! We have been grocery shopping all day and we have been cleaning. It's been a VERY productive day. I am getting ready for my mom and dad to come, and I could NOT be any more excited!!!!

I am keeping it short because I have so much cleaning to do before our little get together tonight, but I just wanted to pop in and tell you all what I have been up to today. I have been in this absolutely amazing mood lately, that I can't seem to shake, which is a good thing!! I just want to take every day one step at a time and enjoy it. Everything that is happening to me, is happening for a reason, and I just need to enjoy it!!!

I will leave you with that. Enjoy your days and remember that every little thing that is happening in your life right now, is happening for a reason!!  Happy Saturday everyone!! Enjoy yourselves!!!

Day 82

Guys...I think I have gotten lazy again. And not in a way that I was before, but in a way that I really hate. I work so hard all day (I know...boo hoo me), that when I get home, I head straight for the couch. That's not how it should be! I mean look at other moms who work all day, come home and cook this incredible dinner, and then work out at night and still manage to look incredible?!? How do they do it??? I mean I'm lucky if I can get salad on the table for everyone let alone some incredible feast. I refuse to let this job defeat me, but it is starting to look exactly like that. I hate the idea of not being able to accomplish everything I set my mind to. I look at how I was doing before I was at work, and I had much more food temptation at home than when I am at work, but some how, I find it more difficult there. I know I am still doing well...and that this is a marathon and not a sprint (thank you special someone!).....but somehow I just want to start seeing those same results I was seeing before I got this job.

I know this all sounds so whiney, and like I can't handle it all, but I can. It is just about figuring out how to manage it all again. I have been feeling really up for the gym, other than the whole being tired thing. I use it as an excuse and continue to say, "I'll go tomorrow". But today is tomorrow...and I keep losing out on that "tomorrow" opportunity! When is enough, enough? So today I refuse to lose...I refuse to let anything take advantage of me. I will make positive decisions today and I will look forward to days to come. I will make it to my goal....one way or another!

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday! I am going to focus very hard on what I REALLY want...will you?

Day 69

Good morning everyone! You know it's going to be a good day when you hit snooze 4 times in a row....I can only imagine how today is going to go!! Last night I was talking to a friend and it really did make me look at my life in a whole new way.

When I moved to Virginia with Hayden, I was lucky enough to land an amazing job. I got to do something I love, learn new things, and work with some of the most incredible people that I have ever met to this day. I thought even living in Virginia was hard. I was far from family, I was far from friends, and people kept coming and going. But it was truly nothing compared to here. I still have yet to make any real friends that I have hung out with recreationally, and it was starting to take a toll on me. But then, I realized that I have been so blessed with an amazing daughter, incredible husband, and a wonderful job to occupy my time. So in reality I have a very small amount of free time, that is already being kept by my family. It is hard to be so far from everything you know, but I make the most of it! I love traveling, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I love the life we live and I am thankful that I was able to write like this to keep myself motivated.

I will admit the last weeks I haven't been doing the best. I have been slacking and giving excuses, but it was just a stumble. I am no longer going to make those excuses. I am going to stick to my guns and be ready for December! After all, I need to make the most out of the one vacation I have this year!

I hope you all have an incredible day today. I have to go out of town for a meeting all day, so I will be in the car most of the day. Stay on track today...it happens (tripping that is), but it's how you handle it that makes you who you are!

Day 68

Good Morning. I had a very early start to this Monday morning so I promised I would write! I unfortunately did not go to the gym yesterday evening because I realized I had to be up so early. So It didn't seem to make sense to keep myself exhausted today. So tonight I will be going since I am off early today! I am going to try the bike again. Especially since I have another doctors appointment Thursday.

It is nothing special, just going to try and get an Ortho referral. Hopefully they will look over the scans with me so I can at least see what is going on with the muscle. Which apparently is where the damage is. SO hopefully I am on my way to some answers this week!!

So I think these last couple weeks I have let my frustrations get the best of me, and this week I REFUSE to let that happen again. No matter what the numbers say, or what I am fitting in, I am making a change some how.

Alright, time to get the baby up and ready, and time for me to head out to work! I hope you all have a wonderful Monday and keep positive this week!!!

Day 63

Alright everyone....I forgot to write this morning! I am so sorry!!! I am going to keep tonight VERY short! Just enough to fill you in on how yesterdays appointment went.

I got the results back (preliminarily) and the Achilles is fully in tact, which is GREAT!! However, the muscle surrounding it is damaged. And there is a lot of fluid build up in my ankle around the accessory muscle (whatever that is). So I will now have to try to get an ortho appointment and we can go from there on how to fix it. The pain has just been increasing day by day and I am hoping to get this moving quickly because of it.

I told Hayden I wanted to go to the gym tonight, but we both discussed, and I am going to wait until next week after my regular appointment to see what the doctor says I should do.

I apologize again for no post! It just completely slipped my mind this morning while getting ready. I hope you all had a wonderful Wednesday!! I will write a longer post tomorrow, I promise!!

Day 62

Good Morning everyone. I was up nice and early today to go get an MRI and X-Rays done on my ankle. Hopefully I will be getting some answers quickly and I can be well on my way to healing!!

I am so nervous to just find out what is going on. I feel like I have been waiting for some time now, since this pain has started really, and now that it is here, I am just worried about what it is going to say. Hopefully it is something that can be fixed easily and won't put me out any longer than necessary. I know that it has been a crazy month or so and I am just hoping that this helps things go just a little bit better!

I sit here and think of how happy I am with how life is going right now. I know that I talk a lot about getting down, and I was down yesterday morning, but I feel like I have no reason to be down! I have so many things going for me in my life, that why would I be down??? It would be selfish of me to not be happy with everything that is going better for me. Sometimes I find that I am so worried about everyone else that I don't stop to think about how well things are going for me and just how happy I should be. I want to be happy and there is no reason I shouldn't be. I have to stop letting small things get in my way of feeling like that.

I am keeping it fairly short today because I am so on edge waiting for Hayden's call about this morning. So I will let you all know tomorrow what is going on! Have a wonderful Tuesday!

Day 58 - Weigh In

Weigh in day...it's finally here. Seems like since I started back to work, it is happening more often than not! But it keeps me on my toes! So I was thinking today that maybe I would make all of you wait until the VERY END of this post to see what I weighed in at this week. But then I assumed that people would just scroll to the bottom, read, and then scroll back up and read the rest. So go ahead everyone.....scroll to the bottom of the page....read my numbers.................


Tricked you...I am going to put them right here! This week I weighed in 2.9 lbs. down for a total of 28.8 lbs. down in 58 days! Again, it wasn't quite where I wanted to be, but I will take 28.8 over 0 any day of the week!!!!

So for all of you that scrolled down for nothing, I apologize. Just feeling in a cheerful mood this morning! I woke up feeling tired, down, and ready to just crawl back into bed. Until I went to get my morning shake and I saw something on my fridge. It's a little card from my Nonnie's funeral and it says:

God hath not promised

skies always blue. Flowers strewn

pathways all our lives through;

God hath not promised

sun without rain, joy without sorrow,

peace without pain. 

But God hath promised 

strength for the day, rest for the labor,

light for the way, grace for the trials,

help from above, unfailing sympathy,

undying love.

It was exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Nonnie always has a way of coming into my life exactly when I need her. When things weren't going well, and I really needed to get a job, she was there. I know I have a guardian angel watching over me through all of this. So because I know she is reading or listening, thank you. Thank you for guiding me when you knew I needed it, and allowing me to figure things out on my own when you knew that was what was best for me. You have always had a faith and love in me that was unexplainable. You have pushed me through this journey more than I ever thought possible, because you weren't here, but I found out you are always here. It is just how you choose to make yourself present, that makes me see you now. So, thank you.

And thank YOU! All of you have kept on pushing. When I'm down, injured, sick, failing, or even just happy and having you share in that! This journey is hard. Anyone who has ever been through it, or tried and stumbled, knows it is a hard thing to do. You are changing your entire life around to adapt to a new way of life. So thank you all for sticking with me!

Have a wonderful Friday! Enjoy your family, friends, and even co-workers. They are what make you who you are, and keep you on the journey you are on. Don't ever forget that!

Day 56

Well....I am late again today!!! I apologize, it was an early day at work today, but at least I am home now and relaxing. I have decided today is definitely going to be a very short post since I have some very much needed time with Alayna. It is very rare that I am home with her, so I want to take advantage of it!!

So I am headed back to the gym tonight for the first time in a little under a week (since I hurt my ankle), and we will see how it goes. I am in a pretty severe amount of pain, but I'm hoping it is something I can work through.

I know what you all are thinking, "You need to take time off to heal". I feel like I have taken the time I need and I just need to get back in the gym and see how it goes. I need to feel like I am doing something other than just eating healthy!!

Okay......I told you it was going to be short, I wasn't kidding!!! Off to spend time with my favorite little girl! Have a wonderful rest of the day!

Day 51 - Weigh In

OH MY GOODNESSSSSS!!! You guys this morning I had to get on and off the scale a few times to make sure what I was seeing is correct!!! I am so over the moon about this number! Are you ready??? Drum roll please........................

3.9 pounds down for a total of 25.9 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!! I hit that 25 pound mark...finally!!!!!!!! I can't help but use all of these exclamation points and crazy large fonts, because I didn't think I would get it this week. I was continuously getting 2's, or 1.5's, and I just thought it was going to be another couple weeks before 25 would get here. I can't even explain to everyone what I am feeling right now!! It just goes to show that hard work really pays off. And even through really tough situations or the challenges of being a full time mom with a full time job, you can make it work!!

So on another positive note, last night at the gym, there were only two of us there. I stayed on the elliptical for about an hour, and did 3.5 miles. Nothing too extreme, but it was enough to get a good burn before my weigh in this morning. When I went to leave, the other gentleman who was there was leaving too. He approached me and asked, "How long were you on that machine?" to which I responded, "Oh, only about an hour or so...not too long....and wish it could have been a bit longer". This gentleman's face was shocked. He then came back to me with, "I could never do that machine for that long. You must be really in shape because I know I can't handle that!". I immediately thanked him, and said that I was by no means "In Shape", but that I was getting there. It was hard for me at first, until I kept to it, and now love it. I then had a HUGE moment of clarity...I was talking to myself (figuratively of course, I'm not that crazy). This man was overweight and at the gym trying to fix himself. He was me, 51 days ago. Scared of the machines, scared of people in the gym, in awe of what people were able to do, and what I was ashamed I couldn't do. But with hard work, I am getting to a better point. I wish I would have said something to this man last night. He was so nice, and he really made my night. I hope to see him more at the gym, as he was doing a great job!!

On all these wonderful notes, I am signing off for the day! Have a huge day ahead of me, and with this good news, NOTHING will bring me down today! Have a wonderful Friday everyone!!! Make today the day you make a change...it could pay off 51 days from now!!

Day 48

So the illness that Hayden and I were holding onto finally got Alayna yesterday. Her temperature was much higher than it has ever been with a cold and reached up into the 102's. I hate seeing her so miserable and unhappy so luckily today Hayden gets to stay home with her to make her feel a little bit better (although she keeps asking for Riley, our babysitter's daughter). So hopefully tomorrow she will feel better and be able to play all day.

It was so nice getting to spend the day just Alayna and I yesterday. I really do miss that. We played, did our nails, and watched movies. It was the perfect day (other than being sick). So much of my motivation comes from all of you but even more so from her. Every day I look into that face and realize that I NEED to be around as long as possible for that little girl. And I am taking every possible step to make sure that is possible.

I sometimes have to take a reality check and figure out how I have made it this far. It seems now, more than ever, I have had some really bad cravings, and have almost given into them. I have come so close to just ordering that piece of pizza, or carb loaded lunch, or something even worse. I have come close to drinking that pop, lemonade, or tea....I hate those feelings. I know that I will some day be in control of them, but right now, I feel very out of control. I hope that the cravings get easier. I am tired of constantly feeling that struggle when I say no to things.

I am signing off early today, still have to work and get the baby comfortable before I go. I hope you all have a wonderful day! And thank you again for all of your kind words yesterday!! I was so honored that you all had such wonderful things to say! Have a wonderful day!

Day 39

You all didn't think I was going to post today huh?? Well I did!!! I've just been really busy trying to find a full time babysitter for Alayna. It's been so fun....

On another note...a much happier one...today I put on a shirt that I haven't put on in weeks. When I would wear it before I had to wear a shirt underneath it because the buttons would pop open or spread apart to see under the shirt. I always had kind of a hard time wearing button ups because of that. But today...I put the shirt on, without an undershirt, and it fit beautifully!! It actually is a little big in the top part!!!!! I am over the moon about it! Any one who has known me knows...I am well endowed. Always have been. And I would be more than overjoyed if those things choose to leave. I hate them!! So to put a button up shirt on and not need an undershirt on, or have to keep it only buttoned half way because it is too small around the chest....is such a big thing! I am just so excited!!!

It's these small "NSV's" as you call them that keep me going (non-scale victories). Like being able to run around with Alayna outside and not getting out of breath. Fitting into clothes I couldn't before. Feeling muscles I didn't even know I had. I'm just starting to really feel and see a change and let me tell you, I LOVE it!! I love it all and it just keeps me going and going!

I am going to have to keep today short because we have some people coming in to interview for the babysitting position, but I PROMISE tomorrow I will have a more in depth post and a recipe included. I am starting my job tomorrow as well and I am beyond nervous about it! So wish me luck and I will write again tomorrow!!

Day 35

Good Morning Everyone! Happy Wednesday!! It is nice and rainy here, so we will be having a jammy and movie day here. I'm finally recovered from the sunburn so it's nice to be able to move without feeling like I just stepped off the surface of the sun!

Now....I will warn you of weigh-in day this week...I'm not feeling good about it. I have mother nature working against me this week, and I am just hoping not to gain! I was really hoping this would be the week that I pull out a bigger number, but it is just not in the books for me. Now I know I don't weigh in until Fridays, but I typically am weighing in every morning, just to see how the week is going. It makes Fridays a little less daunting if I have an idea of what's coming. I just prefer to only log that number once a week because I don't want to feel discouraged if the scale is going up and down through out the week.

Other than the scale possibly going up this week, I am feeling great. I have been doing about 4 miles on the Elliptical and feel incredible after it each time! I have been really dragging each time it comes time to go, but by the time I get there I don't want to leave! Who would have ever thought that would be the case!! I'm starting to just really enjoy my time there. I only stay a little over an hour each day, but I always make sure to have a significant burn. I use my Heart Rate Monitor each time. If you are going on any sort of weight loss journey I HIGHLY recommend one. I think it is really important to get a more accurate count on what kind of calories you are burning in a day. Each person's body has a different way of burning those calories, and it is helpful to see how YOUR body is burning those calories. I don't want to come across as preachy, but I really do stand by mine! It's so helpful to have that information to reference and see how your body is working each time. I hope to some day invest in a Garmin one, it holds more files and keeps track of more in-detail information, but for now, my Polar will work more than perfectly!!

Alright I have kept you all long enough...go enjoy your day and drink lots of water and be good! Have a wonderful Wednesday!!

Day 32

Happy Sunday all you wonderful people!! I hope you all had a wonderful Saturday night! We enjoyed a delicious dinner and decided to have another movie night. We settled on Rise of the Guardians, it was pretty good, and Alayna enjoyed it too!! It was the perfect, healthy, Saturday.

I know that is pretty irrelevant but just had to share what a wonderful, and temptress free Saturday it was. Believe me, I still have some temptations, I can't go near a big cheesy pizza or some breadsticks. However....they are getting so much easier to be around. I just see them as calories and extra inches on my waist....or a longer visit to the gym and less time with my family. That piece of pizza just isn't worth it to me anymore.

My mind has evolved in just a simple matter of weeks. I read an article that says it takes 4 weeks for your brain to re-wire itself into a healthy mindset. However....on the contrary it takes only 5-7 days to undo that wiring. So just one slip...one trip to the beach or one week of going astray could make it that much harder to get back on the wagon. I will admit that I have this fear of falling off again. I do it constantly and what makes this time any different?

I think what I am getting to is that my brain has changed, and I am happy with that change. I just fear straying from that hard work and change. That was my original intention with beginning this blog. Being able to make it entirely out and in the open....my triumphs, my fears, my shortcomings, my weaknesses, and everything in between...you guys......you will keep me accountable. So falling off the wagon will not happen to me! Because of all of you!!

So I believe that is all for today....we have a nice busy Sunday ahead of us and I need to get going! I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday!! Enjoy the last of your weekend <3

Day 28

Day 28!!!!! I made it to the 4 week mark already!! I am just so happy about it!! I can't even to put it into words how great I feel! Can't you tell by all the exclamation marks?

Now today I thought of things I could talk about....what I do at the gym or food I eat, or what I do every day to keep myself going, or what goals I set for myself...But then I realized last night that I want to talk about gym etiquette! This may not apply to everyone, so if you want to jump ship for the rest of todays lesson feel free!

I have been going to the gym for almost 28 straight days (missed 2 days) and feel like I have made sure to do everything right. I bring my required towel, wipe my machine down after I'm done with each machine, go through each machine correctly without letting the weights bang around, and I take it really seriously!! Oh, and most of all.......I don't bring FOOD into the gym.

Last night was not the first time I have seen this happen. I don't know why it bothers me so, but it does! When I got to the gym yesterday, I got on my treadmill and started off any normal evening. I look to my right and there is a woman eating a Twix....ON the treadmill. I couldn't even believe it. But I got past it, because it's not me! She can do what she wants I guess!

And then...these two girls come in. Bigger girls and my thought was "good for you girls! That's great for you!!" But nay....they stayed on the treadmills taking (and I sadly quote) "SELFIESSSSS!!!". I quickly turned my headphones up higher. They continued to stay on the treadmills for about 5 minutes after taking a good amount of pictures and then moved onto the stepper for 5 minutes, elliptical for 5 minutes, bike for 5 minutes, then on to the weighted machines. Oh, and do you think they wiped any of the machines down after use??? Now I don't know if that goes for all gyms that you have to wipe them down with a disinfectant wipe, but you do here. Because who wants to touch a machine with all of your body sweat on it....ew.

So then they move onto the weight machines...which I have seen some really sweaty people get on and they always wipe it off with multiple wipes when finished. Now when I am on a machine I am doing 3-4 sets of 10-15 reps on each machine with a 60 second break in between. That is a (somewhat) proper way to be on a machine. I go slowly as to not let the weights bang when you go back to your start. (I have seen people get yelled out for the banging of weights) But these girls went to each machine and did one rep of each while loudly banging the weights around.

Now I don't know why I am so frustrated by this....I didn't think I was going to be a gym snob about it, but I am being one. This is not the first time any of these things have happened, but each time it does....my skin crawls with the idea of having to sit in someone else's sweat on a machine!!! So I apologize for the rant, but hopefully it can help you to prevent gym germs!!

Tonight we are doing lean lettuce wrapped burgers! I will post the recipe tomorrow!! Enjoy your Wednesday everyone!!

Day 27

So yesterday wasn't such a great day. I was upset, sad, and feeling sorry for myself. And usually my first instinct is to eat something....frozen pizza, ice cream, or noodles (I really love carbs!!) but I thought about how silly it would be to waste a whole days hard work on something like that, that doesn't actually make me feel any better at all. So I decided I would take it out at the gym. And boy did I!!! I got such a great burn and it really was the best medicine. My sister made it very clear by talking me out of those negative feelings. I am finally working on myself, and I SHOULD be really proud of that!! Everything else in my life will fall into place, and until then I need to worry about taking care of myself!!! So no more negative feelings for me! I have no reason at all to be negative...too many good things going on in my life!!!

So some people had asked about what a normal day looks like for me calorie wise. So I figured I would just kind of briefly map that out for all of you, see if maybe that is a little easier to understand what a day looks like for me!

8:00 am - 9:00 am - One protein shake (used as a meal replacement)

12:00 pm - 1:00 pm - Whole wheat english muffin (REALLY high in fiber), 1 T. cream cheese, low fat string cheese, 1/4 cup raw almonds, and tomato and cucumber salad (sometimes)

3:00 pm Snack - Kashi cookie with 1 T. peanut butter (the cookie is really high in protein and fiber and tastes good too!!)

6:00 pm - 7:00 pm - Baked pork loin chop (seasoned with salt and pepper), brown rice, and green beans

After Work Out Snack - Green apple with 1 T. Peanut Butter


Things I look for through out my day....Make sure I am eating enough protein!!! Protein is really important because it is going to fuel your body through all the changes. I also make sure I am eating a lot of fiber so that I am feeling full throughout the day. Doing this meal guide and burning an additional 500-600 calories a day at the gym, I'm usually netting close to 1100-1200 calories. I try to keep it around 1200, but sometimes that is hard for me, which I am working on!!

I hope that it is helpful. I sometimes will snack between breakfast and lunch, just to make sure I am eating enough calories in a day, but I try not to. I try to make sure I am eating about every three hours to help my metabolism keep up. I'm not by any means saying that my daily eating is perfect or that I eat the same thing every day....I don't! But I just wanted to give you all an idea of how my day goes.

I know that this takes hard work and dedication. I know some people will say it is good to have a cheat meal (meal, not day!!) a week, but I just don't want to yet. I am working too hard to cheat yet. I think the way I have seen my cheat meals is in a really healthy way. Like my pita pizzas, whole wheat spaghetti, or my dark chocolate (one tiny square off the whole bar). It's just enough to make me feel better, but not enough to ruin any of the hard work I have put in. I have completely eliminated any drinks that aren't water, or water flavored with fruit. I have also stopped any sort of alcohol intake (which has been great!!). It definitely isn't worth it to me to drink my calories! I am just trying to take every healthy step forward that's possible and NO unhealthy steps backwards.

I really hope today's blog was helpful!! I'll think of something equally as helpful for tomorrow! I promise!! Have a great Tuesday everyone!!